Today was not my day...

[Mochiibee]

Hi all!...

I had a pretty bad breakdown today. To the point of self harm, hoping that the thoughts would stop..

There was a family BBQ, I dont really talking to my family much, bad relationships with them. And one of them is a perv.

I told someone i would try to eat with them this time ( last time, i just wasnt feeling it, i usually like to be alone, where i feel safe. But i still got in trouble for not eating with them the next day. [forgot to mention i get really awkward around them]) so i ate this time but still sat alone. i have problems with my weight, and a few days ago i discovered what i truly looked like [ new room with those long mirrors attached to sliding door wardrobes) i was disgusted with myself, i looked terrible, thinking why did i let myself go like this?..

I really wanted to stop eating, i dont want to look like this anymore but i never have motivation, i just keep crying, unable to control myself...so today.. I self harmed ( i care alot about my appearance and other peoples views on me )

I really do want to get my own therapist... Though im afraid i never have the money but i dont know how to save..

i still have no job and living with my parents.. I got a bad history with my father so i want to move out and away soon..hopefully

[Sophie_M]

Hi Mochiibee,

Thanks for reaching out to this community. We understand it can be tough to post for the first time, so we are grateful you decided to reach out. We're so sorry to hear that your home life isn’t going well and that you are self-harming. We understand that this must be overwhelming. We are getting in touch to offer some extra support through email.

We would also strongly recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/. It might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 by young people 25 and under via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

Headspace is another organisation we would recommend, they are specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including counselling and group programs. They also have a group chat on their webpage - https://headspace.org.au/.

Many of our members will understand and may be able to help. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help support you.