OCD and driving

[Ryan7519]

Good evening everybody my name is Ryan I am 26 years of age just over quarter of a century and have suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in particular my OCD is in relation to driving I got my drivers eighteen months ago and have green P2s I have had a relatively clean and safe driving history to date perhaps above average for someone my age and that is the thing I have this obsession with perfectionism however I have had a history of really bad OCD when driving and in the past I have been very hard on myself it started of with minor things such as forgetting to indicate driving through an amber light (like when it goes amber right before you cross the line) bumping a curb and just generally little things that everyone does however this has not been so bad I have gotten over being hard on myself for 'forgivable mistakes" however recently my OCD has become much more severe I have a fear of accidentally hitting someone or something like a pedestrian cyclist a dog, more specifically hitting someone or something and "not being aware of it " which is insane how can you hit someone or something and not know like I will stop and give way to a pedestrian and watch them cross safely and see them in the revision mirror on the other side of the road going about their business safe and sound but I will get intrusive thoughts later that go against all logic I do not know if I am more scared of actually hurting someone and the consequences (responsibility OCD) or of the delusions I avoid driving as much as possible except for work and even then I would follow a strict route mostly backroads believing that if I deviated from the route even slightly something bad might happen. A persistent intrusive thought is " Oh my God what if I really did accidentally hit someone and get charged and go to jail, what would happen to me ? My life would be over and not worth living and this is often followed by suicidal ideations.

I am tired of constantly feeling depressed all the time.

[Petal22]

Hi Ryan7519,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im so sorry this is happening to you I understand how difficult OCD is to deal with.

I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD this condition was a very debilitating condition to go through especially when I was in the grips of it…. It was unrelenting at times…. It’s a very cruel disorder to have.

Ive now recovered from this condition thanks to the professional help I received.

Have you ever done any therapy for your OCD?

I also had horrible intrusive thoughts I knew they seemed irrational but they felt very real.

Do you feel like you are always stuck in your head?

Do you question and analyse your thoughts with many what if s?

If you answered yes….. it’s because

OCD is a vicious cycle but it’s a vicious cycle that you can learn to break free from.

Have you ever tried meditation? I believe meditation got me over the line with my OCD….. it taught me that I’m not my thoughts but the watcher of my thoughts.

You really can recover from OCD, with the correct help.

Ive written two threads you may be interested in reading

From someone who suffered OCD and recovered

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy

Your not alone

I really understand what you are going through.

Please ask me any questions