Theories on suicidal thoughts

[white knight]

Hi

One of my favourite psychologists is Jordan Peterson. He has hundreds of videos on Youtube. He mentions in one lecture that his belief is that a common reason for suicidal thoughts is that the person cannot tolerate the complexities of their lives. For us humans have hundreds of tasks every day and new ones coming along not to mention the stresses of financial struggles, bullying, separation from family and friends and possible drug abuse. And those can be the tip of the iceberg. 

Perhaps to help ourselves we should lower that complexity by reverting to a pre adult simplicity. Reduce  stress numbers by removing them. Toxic friends or family? remove them. Consolidate debts, draw up a financial plan so you have a better outlook in 12 months. And so on. Shape a +ve pathway.

I've long time been an advocate for replacing negative thinking for positive outlooks and plans. Reading posts here of how people are treated poorly at school (bullying) or their own negative thinking so inground they know no other way of thinking. Please allow me to guide you- there is no better transformation to a better life than realising your thinking is self destructive and to move towards a positive outlook on everything- everything.

You hurt your leg and you spend weeks in a wheelchair - think! you have arms and hands to write, to touch a loved ones face to show care... how lucky

You fail a topic at school, give yourself time to adjust to it then think! how lucky you can get education. Drop that subject, add another, we all have limits so accept it that it isnt a topic for you. Be realistic

You have an upset at home, go for a walk, focus on life, on the bees collecting nectar, the old lady carrying shopping inside (offer to help as helping others elevates your worth), feel the breeze

Climb a hill once a month. Sit in silence and watch the sun set. It will take 2 hours start to finish. Dont move. When I did this a small bird landed on my shoulder- how special is that? Appreciate the wonder of a sunset.

Occasionally remove yourself from your obsessions like study, mobile phones, games and "fun". Add to your life the addictiveness of life itself. It's right at your doorstep if you look.

Love yourself, your uniqueness.. there is no other like you.

So, are you hoping for a small change to your life? I wouldn't be happy unless it totally transformed your life.

https://wordpaint.com/prem/en/when_sunset.htm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X30sWycWz4o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgh08mZ355Q

TonyWK

[white knight]

Sense of wonder? Who are we? I think I've given up finding the exact answer to everything so default to the nearest achievable acknowledgeable point. Eg I'm into the JWTS and Hubble discoveries, that has provided me and countless people a sense of discovery not known to man till now, with a lot more to come. So I draw the line with 'the big bang' until they find something concrete.

Same with personal achievement, our purpose here. Rather than wonder about it, I suppose I'm a decision maker, leaving myself without resolve is stressful so, many years ago the "I'm here to help my fellow man" approach has become my home, my purpose. Although that comes with conditions like some members of society that inflict pain or selfishness.

So I dont like being left in limbo, there has to be a reachable goal for me. In a way I'd find not reaching a goal frustrating, of non fulfilment. 

For many years I've written my prose to help victims of crime. For a long time before that I pondered on my poetry's purpose, a book, a personal book? and so on. So I wrote a manuscript that never was accepted for publication. Called "Black clouds Dancing" it was essentially a biography with 3 characters- me with sensitivity, mental illness and sadness, another character with hardened prison officer persona that bossed the 1st character around and a 3rd character which was the medicated 1st character. Character 2 the alpha male believed the 1st character was a wimp, the 3rd character kept the 2nd character at bay, disciplined, hidden. The book has many poems in it.

Then the victims of crime came about in 2006 when 2 young ladies had their lives taken by a parolee. He later passed away by police. Anyway the parents lost their two daughters. This one was to their mother.

THE HOUSE OF WAX

He was busy with the pouring

This old man’s name of Max

So I toured his workplace while he toiled

This holy house of wax

There were inventors of a kind

And starlets from the stage

There were master minds of talent

From another age

There were heroes of the wars

And leaders of a group

There were figurines of wax

From every allied troop

I stopped to admire him work

His name tag read just “Max”

“You really are a marvel

How you recreate with wax”

I focused on his one off mould

And marvelled when it set

This figure of a lady

That I’d recently had met

Her arms were open wide

as if about to fly

I asked a simple question

I asked a simple “why”?

Because she is cradling her girls

Even though you cannot see

It is the stance she had

When they were one and three

He continued to work away

As his making of a sign did end

And I was in total awe

Of a mirror image of my friend

He rolled out the final cast

To place at Shirley’s feet

This house of wax curator

That I was glad to meet

He placed the sign just right

This single cast of one

The sign read appropriately

“This is the perfect mum”...

You can see the purpose.

TonyWK

[mmMekitty]

Hello TonyWK

Your poem, 'The House of Wax' is a touching tribute to the wman, her kids & to Max, too, who so carefully made the wax figure of her. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.

I like the idea of your book & the characters. 

Have you considered self-publishing, so-called 'vanity publishing?

*

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[white knight]

Thankyou MmMekitty

I'll be in the mood. I want to re-write it as it wasnt written in the "I then did this or that" but rather "Tony did this or that"... people told me it would be better written in "I".

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi Tony

Your poem 'House of Wax' has led me to tears. You've deeply touched the mum in me as I ponder so much of what it offers. While you offer the ability to feel so deeply for those who have lost children, you also offer a chance to consider what is perfect at times (a mother). '...as if about to fly' also offers a chance for me to consider so many ways in which my 2 children have liberated me and how they continue to do so.

It's my kids who have led me to wonder so much. They've led me to imagine more and believe less in what doesn't serve me. All the adventures we used to go on when they were younger led to the adventurer in me coming to life. If not for them and their need for service and care, especially in the earlier days, I'm not sure I would have found the patient me, the deeply caring me, the loving and compassionate me. They have liberated me by bringing so many facets of me to life, facets that I love about myself. I suppose the greatest thing they have given me is the ability to grow into loving myself, something I'm not sure I could have ever done without them.

I'm interested to know how you manage goals Tony. While a lot of people basically manage reaching goals, I need serious strategy. Based on the challenge of sticking to the path toward a goal, I just can't stay on track a lot of the time. Part of that comes down to me lacking self-discipline. How do you discipline yourself? Is there any particular self talk/inner dialogue that works for you? Do you have to work up enthusiasm sometimes and, if so, how do you do that? Do you channel the commander in you that dictates something like 'I don't care if you don't feel like doing this today, you're going to do it soldier or you can drop and give me 20!!!'? I think I'm more inclined, when I go off track, to drop into a down and give myself 20 reasons why I'm hopeless. Of course, I know I'm not hopeless. It's simply the dialogue of the inner critic. When it comes to life, it comes with challenges.

[white knight]

The Rising,

Producing tears means my poem was a success. I once had a WW2 veteran listen to me recite some of my 300 poems and he was crying all the time and kept urging me to read the next one. Bliss for a poet.

Prior to 26yo I was a negative thinker from a negative family and a over domineering mother. But at 26yo it all changed. I went to a lecture and that motivated me forever. Now its a case of being motivated most times except when in a mental "state" when that isnt possible and I accept that interruption.

This post tells of that day 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525

Motivation

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/motivation-search-and-rescue-it/td-p/38279

How I found my direction

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/humility-and-quot-the-good-samaritan-quot/td-p/3075...

The planning, short medium long

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/planning-a-healthier-mind/td-p/171386

Loving yourself from being special to your children is so true. My eldest is wonderful, an ex math/art teacher pensioned off with PTSD, depression etc, her paintings are unbelievable. We are very close. By contrast my youngest 31yo is narcissistic she learned it by her mother. I was abused by that daughter for many years, teased and treated poorly. How would I ever get over that treatment. So 3 years ago when she messaged me again on FB for several days we chatted as usual when she came out of the woodwork, then boom, no reply. This was done many times to me over the years. So, I blocked her and the abuse would end. I read a saying- "I was too busy listening to your criticism of my faults while I overlooked yours" paraphrasing. This has a lot to do with motivation in that losing a daughter is a huge trauma to overcome for self protection. But cruelty I will not tolerate like triangulation. So making solid decisions is rarely a necessity but it is indeed warranted at times and motivation is a big part of that process.

TonyWK