Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Tryingtomoveon Christmas Drinking and Work
  • replies: 2

I had my work Christmas party on Friday night. I was quite anxious going and I ended up getting really drunk and ended up puking and having to be brought home by someone else in the office. I don't remember a lot of it. I woke up completely paniced o... View more

I had my work Christmas party on Friday night. I was quite anxious going and I ended up getting really drunk and ended up puking and having to be brought home by someone else in the office. I don't remember a lot of it. I woke up completely paniced on Saturday morning and ended up with my friend ringing the CAT team for me. All I wanted to do was end it all. I have managed to get myself back into the window of tolerance and the feelings aren't as big I do feel safe. But I do feel overwhelmed and the thought of logging onto work tomorrow is completely overwhelming and freaking me out that I will be fired. I keep catastrophising and I know that rationally I'm not being right but the thoughts just keep on coming. I know it is my own fault but I haven't been in this job long and it is senior so I just feel like I've done damage and if something is said I don't know how I will handle it. How do I work through this? I also think it is the time of year I find really hard but why did it have to all come crashing down at a Christmas function

James010405 Living in car
  • replies: 41

Howdy everyone. My partner and I of 7 years broke up at the start of the year and I've got no place to go. My 3 kids don't know that I'm officially classed as homeless and living out of my car for the last 9 months. Both my parents and sister have pa... View more

Howdy everyone. My partner and I of 7 years broke up at the start of the year and I've got no place to go. My 3 kids don't know that I'm officially classed as homeless and living out of my car for the last 9 months. Both my parents and sister have passed away a while ago now and I don't have any family to turn to for help. 2 mates know all the details and how I'm living and trying to help. I'm still working 2 jobs and can't get a rental to call home either. I had 2 Social workers give up on me trying to find a home, my ex was trying for 3 weeks but gave up and now a mate has offered to help with a bond if I find a place. Finding a place seems like a waste of time because I don't have anything to put in a home. My dog is living with the ex and she won't let me see my 15yo dog either now or even send me a picture of how she is going as well.. this Xmas coming will be the 8th shittiest in a row now and I just can't do it again. I just can't seem to get a break in life or get the hell I need to have a happy life again or share it with someone that loves me. Everything seems pointless or useless to me and all I can think of is just going, disappear or leave without a trace to never come back. I know it will break my 2 sons 18,17 and my 20yo daughter would not care. She refuses to see me, talk to me or even reply in texts and now she won't let me see my 9 month old grandchild that I've seen 1 time for 10 min. I have no where to go, no one to turn to and everyone gives up on me now and I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel and only seems like my hole is getting deeper by the day now. I cry myself to sleep most nights while sleeping in a sleeping bag in my car and pray to the lord to take me in my sleep but it never happens. I'm sick of this missarible life and so exhausted to the point where I can't think of see properly now. I need help and kindness

gurindjiwoman Trigger Warning: I would like to end my own life now.
  • replies: 1

I first thought about taking my own life back in 2014. That happened to be the first year that I self harmed. I was in Year 11 at the time and I was being bullied relentlessly for having curly hair - ever since Year 8. But ever since Year 8 I was bei... View more

I first thought about taking my own life back in 2014. That happened to be the first year that I self harmed. I was in Year 11 at the time and I was being bullied relentlessly for having curly hair - ever since Year 8. But ever since Year 8 I was being bullied for various different reasons. I can't recall what those reasons were, as it was so long ago, but what I can recall is that the teachers did nothing about it, despite the involvement of my mother and grandmother (this was back when my mother was a decent individual and when my grandmother worked for the Department for Education.) I was previously an A and B grade student but then plummeted to a D and E and NA student from the bullying. I ended up quitting school. In 2012, I joined a netball team, after playing for another club many years prior, where I was punished for being a phenomenal shooter (I was put in WD every game - I certainly wasn't having any fun - like the coach wanted us to.) My breathing disorder (not asthma) was not taken seriously by the team or the coach (who - the coach - I believe has undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and I was eventually kicked off of the team and booted out of the club for reasons unknown. The coach demanded that her team won every single game of the season. In 2013, I played against my old team on one occasion and I was put in GS. I was being bullied on court by the GK (who usually played in C) as she kept slapping the ball out of my hand deliberately (her mother/coach told her to do this) and when I missed ONE goal her mother told her that I should 'give up shooting goals,' which was loud enough for me to hear. Well guess what? She gave up coaching because her team weren't good enough for her (not even her own daughter was good enough for her). So, who is the real winner here? If you made it this far - THANK YOU! I actually feel a bit better now that I have shared this with you. I will respond to messages/emails from BB as soon as I can

Evanthia Pain , suffering and all things insane
  • replies: 5

I have been really trying to keep the crazy all contained inside , but there are cracks that are starting to show through and l have been struggling to stop the suicidal thoughts and the self harm from happening. I have a insane desire to hurt myself... View more

I have been really trying to keep the crazy all contained inside , but there are cracks that are starting to show through and l have been struggling to stop the suicidal thoughts and the self harm from happening. I have a insane desire to hurt myself that no one seems to understand. I've been hurting myself continuously. I've had a really emotionally unstable week and l've been so unhappy with everyone around me. The problem is if l say anything , l'm afraid of being taken to the hospital , so l am avoiding asking for help. SO why am l here , writing this ???? on the off chance , l make a mistake l guess.....

PocketRocket88 The beginning of the End
  • replies: 42

Today will be the day that will set me free from these inner demons and chains of deep sorrow and pain... I will make most of this day and make the final arrangements for those who matter to me... I will plan this day the best way I can and do what I... View more

Today will be the day that will set me free from these inner demons and chains of deep sorrow and pain... I will make most of this day and make the final arrangements for those who matter to me... I will plan this day the best way I can and do what I wanted and needed to do before it all stops... I've accepted the fact that destiny and the world has been telling me that this is not where I belong... That nothing is holding me back here... And to where I'm going is and always was the place I should be... I won't resist anymore... I'll just take everything in and just finish whats left for me here... It's now clear to me that this is how it is and that it's meant to happen this way... By end of day all these will stop and I will be free...

Chris_Tas Tips to survive when feeling suicidal - please share
  • replies: 17

Hi all. I've been suicidal for quite a while and I know it's excruciatingly difficult. My 15 hospital visits in a two year period with 4 intake to the acute (voluntary) mental health ward suggests I might know a bit about it. I'd like to think so any... View more

Hi all. I've been suicidal for quite a while and I know it's excruciatingly difficult. My 15 hospital visits in a two year period with 4 intake to the acute (voluntary) mental health ward suggests I might know a bit about it. I'd like to think so anyway. What I'd like to do (if moderators allow) is for each and every one of you on here who is suicidal, has been suicidal, might become suicidal - to please name and list your coping mechanisms. The reason I am starting this thread is because the standard "mental health plan" via Drs didn't work for me (I still encourage others to do it definitely) and had to make my own plans that suited me. I'll start and I hope others contribute as this isn't about me, it's about what we can share to help others in that moment (yes, anyone suicidal knows that moment) I personally now: 1. put a light on if it's dark. Darkness scares me. If I feel panic the light is on immediately. 2. put a movie on. Even if it's 5am like now it goes on to distract me and even searching for a movie helps 3. plan a new hobby. Even if it doesn't eventuate, just getting excited on something other than self misery helps me. I've planned many overseas trips that haven't eventuated but it helped me. 4. never respond or engage with toxic people. Whether it be social media, family (in my case) or friends. If not positive or understand to a basic level leave it immediately - this takes courage and harsh, but if they are toxic they are no good for you. 5. financially ease your burden as much as possible. Unless a millionaire we all struggle, but paying for things you don't need causes further stress. Cut them and put money elsewhere or save. That's just my 5 for now but I'd love to hear more on how you have coped. I'm still a massive work in progress and we are all learning together. Chris

Caringa-1234 Miss
  • replies: 2

How do you get help when no one wants to help me with this issue

How do you get help when no one wants to help me with this issue

Trans22 Idle ponderings - no suicide attempts
  • replies: 3

I spent most of my life, up to the age of 52, wanting my existence to end. I still believe that I never went though with a suicide attempt because of my fear of failure. I've done a mental health first aid course and know that I'm supposed to avoid u... View more

I spent most of my life, up to the age of 52, wanting my existence to end. I still believe that I never went though with a suicide attempt because of my fear of failure. I've done a mental health first aid course and know that I'm supposed to avoid using words like "failure" and "success", but that's how I think of it (sorry). Now to my pondering or thinking out loud. I wonder whether the severity of my depression actually saved me? That is, I was so depressed that success seemed like an impossible outcome - I'd find a way to screw up my plan(s) somehow. Did my not taking action increase my depression and make suicide seem even more impossible to me? Was this one of my mind's ways of protecting me? Thank you, mind.

Tia12 will it ever get better
  • replies: 2

I'm sick of feeling depressed, people not understanding esp at work. I'm sick of this shitty life and feeling like I haven't achieved enough or I'm not good enough. I don't know what direction to head into. I've been gradually getting worse for the p... View more

I'm sick of feeling depressed, people not understanding esp at work. I'm sick of this shitty life and feeling like I haven't achieved enough or I'm not good enough. I don't know what direction to head into. I've been gradually getting worse for the past year. Four years ago I was removed from one work area to another. I got talked into it and have regretted ever since. Now I'm stuck in customer service - an area I hate and which brings back bad memories from 20 years ago. In late 2021 I was given another task which means dealing with even more difficult customers. I then had a car accident last year in which someone passed away (not my fault). Ever since then I find I can't cope as well. I have sent about 2-3 emails to my manager saying how i don't fit in, there is no support, I hate my job and I regretted moving - usually when I'm at my lowest and feeling suicidal. Nothing gets done. The last time HR was called in - nothing done again. They don't want to accept any responsibility for putting me in this situation. I was told not to send any more emails or speak about how I feel to my supervisor, that I'm stressing everyone out and I'm too hard on everyone (this was the first time I heard of this). They just want to blame me. I'm stuck as I don't have the mental strength right now to find a job elsewhere. I also don't know what to do with my life. Last week they advertised another position at a higher level in my area. I decided after trying to motivate myself, I will apply for the job as I think I could exceed in the role. However, when I asked my supervisor if she could be my referee, instead of being supportive she questioned why I would want to apply. It felt so obvious that she would want anyone else in the job except me. She ended the conversation by saying that everyone is welcomed to apply. All day I was building myself up to write the selection criteria. I actually thought my supervisor would have expected me to apply. It was a shock that she felt differently. Work insisted I see a psychologist which has made me financially worse off. I have been spending/shopping far too much in the last year just to make me feel better but now I feel even more depressed. I really am struggling how to get out of this as I'm feeling even more depressed and suicidal. I was first diagnosed when I was 20 and I've had this for 30 years. I'm over it and I think everyone else around me has had enough too.

anonymous_username NOT important just looking for advice
  • replies: 3

Hi all! So recently (like a week ago on Monday) I found out that someone I have been becoming friends with has been self harming. Turns out he has a kind of abusive father who gave him a lot of crap. This really made me sad as he is a really good per... View more

Hi all! So recently (like a week ago on Monday) I found out that someone I have been becoming friends with has been self harming. Turns out he has a kind of abusive father who gave him a lot of crap. This really made me sad as he is a really good person, but on Tuesday I accidentally found out that his recent ex-girlfriend that he is still close friends with also has some cuts. He broke up with her because he liked her best friend (they are dating now, ex-Gf still likes the other boy). She hadn’t told her best friend about her self harming yet and I didn’t want to confront her about it so I left it. Later that day she told one of her most trusted friends. I was glad that she told someone, but I also felt bad that I had left her alone. I have been struggling with depressed thoughts since the start of this year but I don’t want to ask if I can take a test. This situation just tipped me over a barrier and I started self-harming myself as well. I blame myself for my friends situation and I feel guilty about not asking her about it when I found out. I told my youth group leader on Friday and they told me to tell my parents, but I don’t think it is that bad and I was getting better, but on Friday night I just had a huge mental breakdown and I was so panicked that he was going to tell my mum that I didn’t know what to do. Talking here with BeyondBlue has really helped me so far but if you guys had any advice for this situation I would greatly appreciate it. thanks, Anonymous