The housing crisis in perth makes me feel suicidal

[bird without a flock]

I feel extermely guilty for feeling like this because i've got a good job, i get payed well but the recent spike in housing prices just as i've finally saved up enough to buy a house is turning into the straw that broke the camels back. I've been depressed an anxious for a long time. there's lots of reasons i got depressed, it'd take too long to explain it all but as a general rule i've cry'd almost everyday for the last 10ish years, i've planned my suicide at least 1000 times by now, i don't have energy for hobbies or loved ones. i'm very tired. As a rule, just as life starts getting good for me, everything always falls apart. I have a partner, they make me "happy," but something still feels very wrong with my existance. I'm not really okay, i'm not really happy. The main thing that really kept me alive this long was telling myself if i work hard and save up things will be okay one day. i'll be able to afford a nice home and go on nice holidays etc. the struggle will be worth it. i finally save up enough to go on a holiday, covid hits and we can't travel. i save up enough to buy a house, prices go through the roof and i can't afford anything any more. Everyone says prices will go down so i save up and wait. but they don't come down, the supply is dwindling, the only thing left is small units hours from work and i'm just tired of it all. Whats the point of working hard if theres never a happy ending to it. whats the point of spending 12 hours of my day paying taxes to then spend the rest of it crying and stressing about the future. Everyone else seems to have bought a house at the right time, gone on holiday's at the right time, found a fun hobby but the right time never seems to come for me. it's like my existance is cursed. I was born decades too late. i'm nearly half way through my natural life and it all feels like a waste, it's just constant suffering. I was finally starting to see an upside then the housing and cost of living crisis hits and i'm just done.  Am i just entitled and needs to get over themself? does anyone else feel this way too?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm guessing you are female?. It can make a difference as to my suggestions re: the housing crisis. 

Firstly thankyou for coming here and being brutally honest. Second you arent alone in terms of these ideations and third I've learned in my own experiences that one should get the required help that you need and that means through your GP then onto mental health authorities, take up an emergency action plan and lastly, if suicidal or thoughts thereof, be willing to undergo any changes (and I mean any) to make your future more safe.

The last one I wrote and articles- here is the link- 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/when-all-is-lost-what-can-you-do-be-radical/td-p/47...

The housing crisis seems to be a major trigger, that trigger also comes form impatience (understandable), hard work, no holiday and really these are manifesting under the one banner. So what is the answer? Well if you keep going as you are you are likely not to get far in the housing game. What are the alternatives? My wife and I are caravanners for our holidays, we meet many on the road and lately younger people (we are in our 60's) are taking up mobile homes, saving more on rent, no bond, furniture etc. Those on the road use WIKICAMPS for $10 one off change to find places with no fees or low cost camps.  In 2016 while around Australia we stopped at Heron Point now at $18 a night one hour south of Perth, which could do for some nights. Friday nights you could set off for a trip to free camps a couple hours away. If you are clever you'll save more and if you could move jobs to a country location its far better to buy a house.

What are your interests? Do you have a history of interests? What activities do you think would put a smile on your face?

I'm here daily, if you reply when I log on it shows me and I can then reply.

Here's a poem I wrote many years ago for a relative in a similar situation...

EAGLEDREAM

Pity those, so many souls

That cannot sing

But cry for all that cant

Imagine the lift of an eagle’s wing

To get to Eagledream

Turn about from devil’s drop

Right at suicide dock

Brake at satan’s falls and at Mt Ossa…prop.

Then hug the love

Of trekkers and the unaware

Those that stared

Into an eagle’s eye

To feel what life really means

To visit Eagledream

Close your eyes

Arm above your head

Flatten weary palms

Hear naught being said

Wait for the eagle to land

Stroke his bold chest

Embrace naturefest

Thank the hunters heart

Then free him

Devil’s drop a distant memory

As that eagle soars like Jetstream

Pity those many souls

That never find Eagledream….

TonyWK