Hi Centaured
Checking in to see how you are, how you're managing what basically feels impossible to manage at this point. If we were permitted to speak freely here, describing this feeling (the impossibility to manage) would have me writing down a lot of expletives in my description.
Have been reading a number of articles on DID. People's stories are so heartbreaking. What they've faced in life, especially in the earlier years of their life, leads me to tears. In my mind, I just want to pull them out of those situations and save them from so much cruelty and sufferance. Those who have faced so much sufferance have faced the worst in human nature, while doing the best to face the worst at such a young age.
it's interesting how people with alters have managed them. There have been a variety of ways, depending on each person and what works for them. While some have managed to identify which alter knows themself well and all the others (their natures, behaviours and triggers), some have managed to precisely pinpoint the very moment when each one came to life, under what traumatic circumstances. Some have had friends or family introduce them to their alter, through video tapes (which they've found hard to watch at first). Some have come to rely on some of their alters, while learning how to consciously bring some of them to life. Some people have managed to get a number of their alters to journal (not all), so they can come to know them better and have them interact with each other. They've had them write letters to each other. Some people have managed to thank some of them for incredible service to their mental health (such as who they may label as 'the a-hole' who is outstanding when it comes to managing degrading potentially depressing people). Of course, some are aware of this alter and some are not (they're told about them by others). So many different people, who manage in so many different ways. As you'd be able to relate, many people struggle with the loss of time factor, being left to wonder what the heck they did during that time. That, in itself, would be so incredibly stressful. While it does not come close in comparison, I recall my days as an alcoholic waking up to feeling the fear/anxiety in regard to what I may have done while I was not fully conscious the night before (who I may have deeply hurt emotionally, what bridges I'd burned, how I'd behaved etc). I feel for you so deeply.
