Suicidal thoughts

[Rah33]

I suffer from depression/anxiety/PTSD. My suicidal thoughts have increased over the last few years. I catch myself thinking about suicide more frequently thinking it may be easier to end my life. I don’t think I have the ability to actually end my life. I dont want to die but don’t really feel living suits me either . I have a husband who supports me, I’m scared to tell him of my thoughts Because I don’t want to upset him, I feel guilty for having these thoughts. I don’t go to the doctors because I will avoid interaction with people where I can. The last medication I tried gave me sleep paralysis and I am scared to start a new medicine because of side effects 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Rah33, 

Thank you for your openness in sharing here. It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult time right now. 

We’re glad to hear your husband is supportive of you during this time. We’re reaching out to you privately to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d really encourage you to give our counsellors a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service. We are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636, and the team are really good at talking people through moments like this and working out options for more support.   

If you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero).  

It also sounds like the Beyond Now suicide safety planning app may be a helpful resource to you. You can read about how it works and where to download it here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning . You can even call Lifeline on 13 11 14 and compete it together with one of their counsellors over the phone. 

We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you.  

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[Petal22]

Hi Rah33,

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it’s difficult.

Thank you for reaching out to us but please don’t suffer in silence anymore.

I understand how hard it is to have horrible intrusive thoughts that just seem to plague us it’s horrible.

Along with these thoughts comes the intense crippling anxiety.

I understand that you haven’t told your husband about your thoughts but I believe if you do tell him your husband will understand you more.

You can go back to your gp and discuss the type of thoughts you are having.

Your gp could refer you to a psychologist to help you to deal with these thoughts.

I understand your fear of starting a new medication but there are many different types available you could discuss this with your doctor.

Health professionals are here to help you please reach out.

I understand intrusive thoughts I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD this condition was horrendous to go through.

My intrusive thoughts really scared me I did open up to my husband at first he was confused but he then began to understand what I was going through better.

Medication and therapy helped me, I’ve now recovered and have been for many years.

I know your life can be so much better once you receive the correct help.