Anyone that has had plans/actions of a suicidal nature is an expert of that dark road journey. So much so in my case in 1996, I swore I'd never return to it.
Apart from the ramifications to family and friends whom we have no intention of hurting, we risk hurt to ourselves sometimes lifelong. We've had more than one member here post details of their lifelong physical suffering for an act that left them injured.
An important point here is that we emotional humans usually reflect on our recent past and say "what was I thinking"? This is due to getting past an episode of negative and self destructional thinking to return to our normal selves. This is the first suggestion I'm making
- Accept that this dark period is temporary and the sun will rise again. Such swings will always swing back.
- Do think of family and friends and the hurt they will endure.
- Radical change- do ANYTHING to avoid suicidal thoughts. This could mean resigning from a job regardless of its consequences, travelling, leaving a relationship or ringing for help (Lifeline or Beyondblue 1300 22 46 36)- think outside the box. The dark road has escape exits
- Time out- delay your thoughts. Give yourself a chance.
- Refocus on the beauty of life perhaps you've forgotten about.
Some examples of the above.
- The last thought I hd before I abandoned my attempt was my dad once saying to me "better being a great part time dad than no dad at all"
- An acquaintance that was gay deciding to come out rather than to continue down that road. He has a strong band of supportive friends now.
- A relative that found humans too emotionally destructive to her now rescues abandoned animals, nurses them then finds new homes.
- A hitchhiker I picked up in 1977 was clearly self destructive after his marriage failed. He had a baby son. He went on to become a cook on a sheep station and remarried. His son is now 44yo and joined him on the station at 18yo.
In my case I left my narcissistic wife one week later. I pleaded with her to stop her silence treatment that had continued for the full 11 years after our wedding. Silence as a weapon is a form of narcissism (as opposed to not using it as a weapon). She blew a smoke ring in my face. I knew it was over. I took some time to recovery (good idea) built my own home for distraction., Most important- accepted that these things happen.
Regain your strength, dont allow tyrants to win, be radical if it can save you and above all have faith in your own beauty and uniqueness.
TonyWK
