Hi Babykitten😊
It's not always easy for family to know how to support the most outstanding member of the family. Family members can struggle for a whole number of reasons. They may not be getting the right advice or guidance, they may never have come across certain challenges before (therefor have no experience to reference), they may be lacking what's needed to support that person such as knowledge, skills and abilities and so on. Every member in the family can end up feeling really challenged, including the person who needs the most support.
While you may have failed to be an average person, you've succeeded in being a highly unique person. With you having been diagnosed with ADHD and autism (aka 'AuDHD'), I imagine that while you face a lot of challenges you also have a huge amount of abilities. Sometimes when abilities are hugely out of balance, they can create some serious issues. I say this while being a mum to a 21yo son diagnosed with level 1 autism and a 23yo daughter diagnosed with ADHD. While a lot of my kids' abilities blow my mind, those same abilities can get in the way of how they really want to live their life at times. Not sure if you can relate to any of the following
- The ability to 'hear' inner dialogue can be brilliant and incredibly helpful in a guiding way but when what you're hearing is the obsessive compulsive part of you chatting away up there in your head, it can become intensely challenging
- The ability to enter into the imagination in a split second and see exactly what you want or need to see is amazing unless it's out of control and interfering with focus. Such an ability can create focus issues
- The ability to feel or sense so easily can make life so much easier at times unless we've never been taught how to manage the ability. When or how to turn the volume dial up or down on feeling, when to switch off the ability completely, how to develop a precise feel for things (as opposed to a general feel or sense) are some of the many skills needed when it comes to being able to feel/sense easily. When you can feel a person's intention, tone and more (regarding their words) learning how to manage that is an absolute must. When people can raise you with their words or bring you down, coming across 20 different people in one day can leave you feeling like an emotional yo-yo
Just to name a few of the many abilities someone on the spectrum can have, the question becomes 'How do family members manage living with a natural hearer, seer and feeler?'. You could even say 'I've been the hearer, seer and feeler of the family since the age of 4 and no one understands how challenging and lonely that has been at times'. When you meet others with similar abilities, it can be a massive relief. It becomes a matter of 'Finally, someone really gets me. They can relate'. Until then, it can be hard to know how to live because 1)no one's guiding you and 2)no one's able to relate. Btw, sometimes our struggles can point to our abilities. So, if you were to say 'I have the ability to feel just about everything', how do you struggle with that?
