Struggling at work

Keira2 · ‎08-07-2020

Hi,

So this is what is going on: In late 2017 my colleague resigned. We had both worked together on a particular job, and when she resigned they didn't get a replacement for a year so I was doing the job that used to be done by 2 people on my own. I went downhill very quickly under the workload, working crazy hours including some 16 hour shifts occasionally. I don't think people showed understanding that the job used to be done by 2 people and it seemed I couldn't do it well enough, the environment started to feel bad. Then when they finally did get someone in to help I had problems with her. I was still working really long hours, and it was really upsetting me to see her spending a really large portion of her day chatting and even taking 1.5 hour lunch break. I eventually began to show my annoyance and then things got even worse and everyone at work pretty much hates me. Things have been bad at work now for about 3 years. I am struggling very badly when I am at work with negative feelings. The feelings are so bad I think I need to end the pain and I am starting to plan that. The workload has decreased due to Coronavirus but I am struggling mentally and I can't get out of it. And before this so many things have gone wrong, it feels like everywhere I go people hate me and look down on me, I wouldn't even have the guts to reply to any ones posts as I would just think the person would think badly of me / what I say.

sisu100 · ‎07-10-2020

Hi Keira2,

It sounds like your new medication has been really helpful for you- I'm glad to hear that you're doing so well! Wishing you all the best with your move, it must be such an exciting time to be moving into your first home 🙂 Hope you're staying safe and well, and are still managing to find time to do something enjoyable each day (particularly having lots of delicious food!).

Keira2 · ‎26-10-2020

Still struggling so much. My boss completely ignores me like I don't even exist, and he's really lovely and kind to everyone else. Had to fill out my PDP which has your goals and strengths and things, and it was really clear he doesn't think much of me. This is really painful, struggling so much. So scared I'm about to lose everything. Struggling not to resign as I feel sick to the stomach all the time. I resigned the other day to my other manager but she didn't accept it, but everyday the awful feelings are there and I feel I have no choice but to resign. If I resign / lose my job I'm in a lot of trouble, I will lose my house and cat. I will struggle to live through it. I took more of the medication than I was supposed to and I had a seizure a couple of months ago, though can't be sure whether it was the medication or something else.

sisu100 · ‎14-11-2020

Hi Keira2,

So sorry for the delay in response. It sounds like work has become a really negative and stressful space for you again. I'm sorry to hear that you're being mistreated by your boss and manager. Their actions are really hurtful and devaluing, and I can see that it's really impacting you. The way they're behaving towards you is really unfair and unacceptable. Please know that you deserve so much more. From your previous posts, I can see that you're such a hard worker and it's a shame that your workplace doesn't acknowledge or recognise that. It seems like a really difficult decision to make, between leaving the job that's causing you so much struggle, or staying to have the finances to keep what's important to you. How is your situation now? Are you still at the same workplace?

I remember previously that you said the medication was really helpful before, but it seems it's not the case now. Would you consider speaking to your doctor to review the dose to see if that helps?

I hope that things have been getting better for you. Please do check in whenever you’re up to it, we're here to provide you with as much support as you need.