Self harm doesnt hurt anymore

[Evanthia04]

Pain and suffering is my daily thing , so to deal with it all l hurt myself ....

AS much as the those conversation to find the better light in things , to be happy with what l do have or there are other options out there , l am NOT convinced and am done listening to others.

My safety plan sits in my emails where l do not refer back to it as l simply dont care to keep my self safe.

Do l have a plan ??????? That is yet to be decided and l dont know as such.

Such is life ........

[Sophie_M]

Hey Evanthia04

We are sorry to hear of your continued struggles but glad youre part of our online community, it takes a lot of courage to share what you have. The community will be here to listen and chat with you. 

In the event that you are feeling like hurting yourself, it is important that you take immediate steps to keep yourself safe. You can do this by:

• Reaching out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14. 


• If, however, you feel unable to keep yourself safe this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple 000).

[geoff]

Hello Evanthia, I'm sorry you are feeling like this, but there are people who want to listen and then try to understand your problem, simply because they might have been through similar circumstances and yes to harm yourself is a concerning issue because it seems as though you have no one you feel comfortable talking to, so I wonder whether this is the situation you're in.

Please have no fear in talking to us, we only want to help you.

Geoff.

[Evanthia04]

You see the issue with calling , the counselors or on phone support try to convince you otherwise.

The list of alternatives are given , the last 4 nites l have been on the webchat distressed, l am mentally drained and stressed that l give up

I just cant deal with it all anymore.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Evanthia04, 

We can hear how hopeless, stressed, and drained you're feeling right now. It all sounds really hard right now. 

We have just emailed you privately, so please read that email when you get a chance. 

We're glad that you've posted here for support. It takes a lot of strength to do that, especially given how you're currently feeling. We hope that posting here and receiving community support helps you to feel even slightly better. Please do continue to post as you see fit. 

[Evanthia04]

Hello Sophie_M

Yes l got your email thanks , but l dont want to talk to anyone ......

[Evanthia04]

So just putting this out there , its not normal to be sitting alone and have visual disturbances of bloodied knives, which is most of my day so far.

I have really tried to switch them off but l cant seem to win .

You see l havent self harmed in over 2 weeks now and my inner demonic self is crying out for pain ....

I dont know what to do other than wait till night time when everyone is asleep and get it done already...

[Sophie_M]

Hey Evanthia04

Thanks for reaching out tonight.

It sounds like you've been doing the best you can in spite of the continued struggles. We're concerned that you are wanting to act on thoughts of self harm later tonight.

We want to remind you that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
 
If thoughts of self harm are still strong later tonight, where you feel like acting on those thoughts, then this is an emergency, and you should call 000 immediately.
 

[Evanthia04]

My head hurts and l dont know what to do other than give in ....

I'm sorry but l'm weak and hopefully it wont end up badly for me

[Sophie_M]

Hey Evanthia,

Thanks for sharing whats happening for you. Sounds like you're continuing to struggle but know that doesnt make you weak. It takes alot of courage to reach out so we're really glad you have and know that you are not alone.
 
We have reached out to you privately tonight to see how we can support you and to also check in with you. Please check your inbox and reply.
 
We urge you if you feel unsafe or that you may act upon these feelings, this is an emergency and you should contact 000.
 
We hope that you are safe and that other members of our Beyond Blue community will stop by to provide additional support also.