Scrambled

[Catie 08]

Hi. I am a survivor of childhood sexual assult and suffer with PTSD. I have been working really hard on my journey to wellness (seeing a psychologist, mindfulness, lots of self care etc) but some days I can't even think in a straight line, my head just feels scrambled. During my therapy I have become the master of avoidance and I over organise and plan for sessions before I go so that i take the safe way out and avoid the exposure therapy I should be doing. I don't even mean to do it but the instinct to protect myself is so strong. I'm a couple of days out from my next appointment so I'm thinking that's why I'm feeling so muddled but I feel that it's getting in the way of me making more progress during these sessions. Any suggestions on how to help in this situation??

[Catie 08]

I'm actually wearing both of them. The message is on the inside so depending on what the mood of the day is I can flip them to see the message if I need to be reminded. (I'll try anything lol)
Well, I walked to the mailbox to get my online shopping before work ...... but after reading that you went for a walk I felt bad and I've just completed a work out (i do tiffxo workouts online from time to time) so now I am free when I see the kids later.
Homemade vegetable curry for lunch, should keep the snack monster away for a bit. (You still need to eat, that's cheating!)
Pins and needles are a bit Insane today - right up to my waist. It's either I'm happy, fat and can't feel my limbs or I chance my mood, still fat but don't trip over my own feet. I don't know, I'm a bit over it.
🤷‍♀️

[Richie01]

Vege curry sounds good. Convenient wrist bands those ones 😉 be a good little mental distraction for you. I cant imagine doing an online workout lol, not that ive ever tried one but i just think of those funny 70s aerobics class videos with the Lycra and sweat bands and that just cracks me up!!!

I know i have to eat, i eat really well, just once a day tho. Gotta start hitting the gym i guess, maybe ill eat more if i do that. Have you been down the track of nerve fusion? Sehra had it done, helped a bit but wasnt a golden bullet.

You still wearing a smile today? I hope so, not long now till your little ones are home 😊

Richard

[Catie 08]

OMG, I can guarantee you that I don't own any lycra or sweat bands(that wouldn't be pleasant for anyone 🤣🤣🤣). She does a range of different things, i like the boxing the best (and yes, i know i dont look anything like her when i do it but its good fun)

No nerve fusion for me. I used to get a lot of pain before they replaced the disc in my back and haven't had any nerve related issues for a few years now, it's just since the last increase in meds that it has started up again 🤷‍♀️

Yep, still smiling (how could I not after the aerobics comments 🤣) . Kids could turn up any time now, looking forward to spending the weekend with them before they are back to school.
C.

[Catie 08]

Early morning soccer for the youngest this morning. The ice was so thick on the ground you could hardly see the lines on the ground 🥶. At half time they all came off the ground with an inch of ice on their boots. We certainly raise them tough down here 😉
Spent the rest of the morning out in the garden putting straw around our hazelnut trees (that's today's excercise done and dusted).
I hope your day is going well 😊
C.

[Richie01]

Yeah, sounds like you do raise them tough there for sure.

Is the straw to stop the cold killing the trees? Sounds like a good workout for the day. Its a chilli 24 degrees here today!!! was 4 degrees this morning tho.... have a heart 😂

My day is ok, did a rebuild on the brake linkages for our draw works ( i wont pretend you understand what that is but its a crappy and very manual job) so thats my exercise dusted. Had four coffees for the day so the diet is on track lol.

Must be great having the kids back. I always love seeing them again after being at work. Finding it almost unbearable lately of course but its all for the greater good ...right???

Hope you have a good afternoon, anything planned? im going to have dinner then um...... ill probably just do nothing like most nights lol.

Good to hear from you C, chat soon.

Richard

[Catie 08]

Hi Richie,

The straw is used as mulch to keep the weeds away and keep moisture in during the summer months.

We ended up going for a drive yesterday afternoon to find the candy van (they make awesome donuts and they move their van to different locations in the south of the state 🍩) The kids loved it.

Last night I also signed up to do an online short course in project management through the local uni. I've got all year to complete it but managed to complete part 1 of 4 this morning (yep, such a nerd). I just wanted something to fill in the evenings otherwise I would waste my time scrolling on Facebook.

Slept in this morning, followed by eggs and bacon but ill try and go for a walk later with the kids. Ill need to do some cooking first. Those kids sure can eat lol

I hope your day is going ok?

C.

[Richie01]

Hey,

I guessed that the straw was for that, just not up with the Tassie horticultural requirements 😉

The candy van hey..... sounds a little like cheating to me lol but i wont blame you for that, sounds pretty tempting. I think that course is a great idea, itll give you something to shift your focus when things get a little clouded as well. Having that sort of time to do it is a bonus as well, we cant pick when our muddled times will pay us a visit and when we are on a strict timeline, it can be impossible to get through the things we need to.

My day is going slow. Having a less than great time in my thoughts... you know how it can get. Just have to try and reason with myself when it all gets too much. So far so good as ve been able to keep it together. Exhausted tho!!!

I do the facebook scroll now, i never used to as i sort of found social media a little negative in the way everyone portrays the perfect to the world while behind the glossy print, it was a mess. I do it out of boredom now, gotta get a hobby!!!

Hope your having a good day,

Been cooking up a storm today? God i miss my kitchen and cooking!!!!!!!!

Richard

[Catie 08]

It was only cheating a little bit, mine was banoffe so there was banana on it 🍌but we won't talk about the caramel 😋.

Yes, I know what you mean about social media. I'm finding social media (and the media in general) are providing so much info on how to look after your mental health... I know they mean well but I just want them to give it a rest for a bit. I know my MH is shit, I don't need them to keep reminding me of it. Hopefully I'll find the course a good distraction and allow me to refocus my energy into something productive and stop wallowing in my thoughts.

I'm sorry that your not having the best day. I wish I could send you some positive vibes to help you through. Hmmm, a hobby he says..... is there anything in particular that sparks your interest??

Cooked orange and poppy seed cupcakes (which everyone turned their noses up at - ungrateful shits!), little egg and bacon pies (crowd favorite) and prepared a lasagna for tonight. I enjoy the kitchen, its just me and my music making a mess trying to feed the masses.(and licking the bowl - and no, it's not cheating because the cake had oranges in it lol)

We have just added 6 chooks to the family too, so lots of eggs to cook with 🐓.

Went for my walk, not to the beach today... I walked up to the top of the hill behind our place for a change (refer to profile pic). My feet are still tingling, i hope it starts to calm down soon as i feel like im walking on glass the whole time.

I hope you day improves. Perhaps instead of Facebook scrolling try writing? It will break your boredom and get some of those thoughts out of you head 😊

Talk soon

Catherine.

[Catie 08]

Flashbacks are shit.

Just sitting here on the couch and boom, random flashback 😖.

Its just shit that i cant control them. Why now? after such a good day.

I know.... Just breath, it's not happening now....

It's still exhausting

Grrrrr....

[Richie01]

So just quietly, orange cake has been my favourite since I was a kid. Have not tried it with poppy seeds but I’m sure they would have been amazing. Post them up my way if you don’t want them to go to waste😊

Gotta love fresh eggs too, how good are they to cook with! They never split. I’m jealous of the view you have there too! How lucky are you C.

dont be sorry, I’ll be fine, nothing I have not been through before. That’s the journey we are on hey. Have to admit, I’m a little surprised you still post here as often as you do. I won’t lie, its a bit of a highlight of my day 🙂 its always feels more like a personal chat than a post, really never thought this place would be anything like what it has become for me. Strange how life works hey.

hope you have had a good weekend with the kids, I’m sure they has missed the hell out of you (even if they didn’t demolish your cupcakes🤣).
Thanks again for being a real friend, you’ve changed so much about the way I look at people.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.

Take care C,

Rich