robthomaslover (used to be mb20lover)'s thread

[britishtvfan]

hi everyone. i hope i posted this in the correct thread, i wasn't sure where to post it.

i'm tayla, i used to be mb20lover, but i thought it would be best to make a new account and start fresh. i'm 22 by the way. i couldn't think of a different username, so i thought this one would do.

i have missed everyone i have interacted with somehow, and i hope i can try to support others aswell as hopefully getting support for myself, and interacting with people i have in the past, and new people.

i hope everyone had a merry christmas and happy new year.

- tayla (used to be mb20lover).

[quirkywords]

Tayla

Thanks for explaining what happened with girl and why she unblocked you.

when we are sick it lowers our resistance to difficulties and we may feel more upset about something. Yes I have snapped at another person because I was annoyed and then someone says something and I snapped.

I did apologise but the person was so surprised and didn’t understand. I’m learnt my lesson .
Thanks for sharing your experiences.

[britishtvfan]

hi quirky. i'm sorry to hear that happened to you. i guess we all make mistakes & are still learning things.

[britishtvfan]

ugh the depression is hitting again. i saw my psychiatrist yesterday & i felt ok afterwards but now i feel miserable again. he's probably sick of me, i always think that he's going to drop me as a patient because i just feel like a burden & a lost cause, wasting his time.

i'm sick of seeing people out living life with friends, family, jobs, driving, studying, etc. & i've never had any of that. yes of course people are entitled to do it & post about it but it triggers me so much & then i usually become more reclusive i suppose is the word. which is part of my AVPD too.

i have made a couple of followers on Instagram over an interest of wax melts (followed some pages that post about it & under a hashtag & so on) but i haven't talked to them. added someone back there & on Facebook who i've known since i was 8 but haven't talked to them.

haven't talked to that lady who unblocked me yet as she's had COVID. haven't really talked to anyone apart from my friend who owns a small wax melt business but she's busy with her final orders before she moves house & starts making them again.

ugh the loneliness just makes me feel suicidal. i'm only 22 but i've just wasted my life. sigh.

[Matchy69]

Tayla I am sorry you are so lonely and struggling at the moment.I am sorry for the triggers I have put on your thread it wasn't meant to trigger you it was suppose to inspire you and show that someone in life with struggles can do things.

[britishtvfan]

hey mark. i didn't mean you triggered me, i just meant seeing things on social media. & even if i did take a break from it, i still see people outside with friends & it triggers me. i'm sorry if i gave the impression that you triggered me.

[Matchy69]

Sorry Tayla I just thought you meant on here.I don't want to say something that triggers you.I just want you to have a happier life and know you can.Its just finding away of getting there.

[britishtvfan]

i've been talking to a couple of people lately on instagram who i met through a wax melt community, nice people. but my AVPD is kicking in now. so hence the name, avoidant personality disorder, i'll probably isolate myself & not contact anybody because i just feel annoying, like a burden, etc. plus when people say they can't talk it feels personal & like they make excuses which has happened to me in the past.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla does your pychiatrist give you any strategies to overcome this AVPD with people.It must be really hard for you to overcome.Their is a lot of us who have some of that to a degree.

[britishtvfan]

no he doesn't, AVPD is rare really

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla just interesting to know what treatment you are getting for it.Just over 2 percent of the population has AVPD and as you would know some famous people have it like Whoopi Goldberg and Kim Basinger and Michael Jackson had it as well.Maby they aren't as severe as you are with it.I just want you to achieve the most out of life you can.