Hello Lagela, it has taken great strength to even post your experience which came at a time in your life you felt there was no other option but it takes time to recover, physically and emotionally in a way that is different from the many others you've had to do before.
Whether or not you had been taken to the hospital can be daunting exerience, answering questions you had not been expecting from several concerned people when all you want to do is sleep.
If your ex has appeared to take over now or once again, and it's your ex for your own reasons, then this will only hamper your recovery, even though it may want to be helpful, to you it's not.
You could be visiting your ' therapist, meds, community health' people but it's the person who you feel close to that's going to help, other people are just going to interfere with you being able to think clearly.
When you weren't feeling like this, your mind could pace at an unbelievable level, it still does now but not logically, that's not your fault, but now take your life back to the basics in life.
I too am so deeply sorry for how you feel and hope you feel as though you can trust us.
Take care.
Geoff.
