Pitty & Bullshit

[BabySteps]

I have had too much bullshit, I resented my Dad since I was 8, He Is a narcissist In different way's, He would demean me socially as pale and as a nerd and as a socially anxious, loner or hermit, or as a Inept person. He would bully my actual mis diagnosis of ( Schizoprehnia ), as that I am mentally retarted or disabled, He would treat caution and observation and reflection and epiphany as that It's all In your head, He would deny my entitlement for a second mental review at a mental health tribunal, He would be the arrogance of His own Intelligence and my financial dependency, He would never praise and be encouraging, rather defeatist, He would undermine my literate expressive, as that I don't know the definition to the word's that I understand, because He Is within a dyslexic level, He would label me as superficial and narcissistic, When His the narcissist that would have the probability to be dis honest, or tell people comfortably against my desire that I am receiving centrelink payment's, and that their a allowance, rather than a government benefit, My Father has left a social mental under confidence to me when socializing or when even thinking to myself, Hindering from Intelligence, or speaking when His around me closely. I always had a Interest to sing and rap, but whenever I would have my Individual with comedy, or opinion's, or Individuality with anything, He would get corrective or deny that your not the person you are, Instead of who He un Intelligent think's you are, He would make you feel guilty and hold grudge's, or He could undermine all His wrong parenting, for merely the fact His paying the bill's for me after 18. He was always a traditional male grey personality, That would make 2013 feel like It's the 1970's or early 60's, He was never available to talk to, unless It was when He was happy and wanted to Interact, and only usually discuss about small talk, rather than meaningful, He could never give advice, or display social, mental or affectionate emotional Intelligence. He could provoke your feeling's, but than can get physically confronting or socially Intimidating and threatening to either keep going, or for me to leave home, without work history, direction, relationship's, and also employment, and when I'm without my driving. He was a propganda vague media personality, a conventional lead mass dogma vain without any abstract Intelligence, I could never click to His psychology, the way that He Is and think's and Internalise's situations

[white knight]

Hi BabySteps,

First of all allow me to apologize for you not receiving a reply.

I see that you feel you are being abused. This is confirmed if you feel you are indeed feeling such wrath even if other people might have a view that abuse is too harsh a description of his behaviour toward you. Its YOU that is enduring it, not other people.

Two things spring to mind.

• Financial independence living away from his presence would vastly improve your life and dwelling of his behaviour.
• We all have different capacities to tolerate others. We also have expectations of others too. In your case with your dad, he seems incapable of treating you fairly and to stop treating you poorly. Once living away from him I would lower my expectations of him as a father, try to draw out of him the bits of parenting that you like so you can turn the tide of how you perceive him. This will give you a chance to retain him in your life which is the ultimate aim. If that even meant that you have a handful of phone calls with him annually and a visit on fathers day and xmas then so be it.

It's a big step leaving home. I did 4 days after my 17th birthday to join the Air Force. A clever move as I got a career, good pay and accommodation all in one move. But it was still hard as I was thrown into a adult environment so young.

You can make such plans but until you actually move out try to limit contact and avoid being in his presence when visitors arrive.

I hope this post provides some relief.

Answer anytime and I'll keep an eye out for it.

TonyWK