Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

by BeyondBlue •

Community Manager•

Posted in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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26-06-2026

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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I thought I’d be dead

replies: 9

Hi I don’t know what I’m doing. Sometimes I’m fine or I seem fine and it seems so silly to me to want to end things. But is it a lie? Am I fooling myself or pretending? Sometimes nothing feels real and then it comes flooding back, this happens legitimately daily. Up and down like a yo-yo and I’m just so tired of fighting and feeling like crap. Feeling so alone and worthless, feeling that I am only a burden on people. Everything is hard and nothing ever stops the whirlpool from dragging me down again. And I swear, each time it gets harder to fight my way out of it. I feel like this the right choice for me. I’m fairly young but I’ve lived my life. I’ve loved, I’ve lost. I’ve had ups and downs. I’m full of a lifetimes worth of experiences and I’ve just come to my end is all. We all have to go sometime and I consider myself lucky to be able to choose when and how and leave some final words behind. There’s so many people who never even get that opportunity and I really just want to get off this merry-go-round.

so tired of everything

replies: 20

i haven't been on here for a while but been struggling a lot recently. ive been pretty much forced into recovery from an ed which is causing me a lot of stress and everything just feels really hopeless. i reach out the start of last year and started going to therapy, it took me a while to open up but when i finally told my psychologist about my ed behaviours i got referred to somewhere else because she didn't treat eds. i still really wish i could just go back and see her because she actually helped me. where i got referred didn't help, was doing fbt there (cymhs, I'm under 18) and finally got offered individual therapy but then my treatment team there suggested i go on medication for anxiety depression and OCD (OCD which literally got 100 times worse after I stopped seeing my first psychologist). and my parents are against medication so now im stuck seeing a third different support person who I don't click with and don't want to talk to. all of this is making it really hard to abstain from self harming because I just feel so consistently overwhelmed with anxiety and intrusive thoughts and everything just feels like too much. ive also been feeling a lot more suicidal than i was because of all the stress. im safe, but the thoughts do get overwhelming when they steer in the direction of ways i could hurt myself. its not like i think i would even act on them ever really, i still hate the thoughts nonetheless tho. i wish i could feel better but i feel hopeless.

Feeling like a terrible person

replies: 17

So I’m not in a great place. I’m fortunate to have a great psychologist. I have been working with her for a fair while now. I feel like I trust her but I’m still incredibly stuck, and freeze and space out in sessions. I have managed to discuss some things but on the whole I feel like a complete failure. I don’t trust myself or my own thoughts, and I feel like a hypochondriac or attention seeking drama queen. I think I’m making things up, or dramatizing it. I emailed and said as much last night. That I’m a bad person and I don’t deserve help. Its just that things aren’t clear or keep changing in my mind, and it was all so long ago - I never said anything, I excelled in so many areas, I was fine for so long, it just doesn’t make sense. now I’m in this spiral of what a horrible human being I am for acting like a victim and I just want to disappear.

Struggling to update my safety plan

replies: 5

Hi, I lost my post I’ve worked through my suicide prevention plan for a few years and about 6mths ago I felt that I have it under control. Now my life I changing rapidly and I don’t have my safe spaces, safe persons etc. I mover too far away, and I s... View more

Interactions with health professionals

replies: 23

I've recently had some negative interactions with health professionals, mostly in the emergency department of the hospital, related to my mental health and specifically around SH. These have left me feeling quite traumatised. I am doing better now as I have spoken to my psychologist about these experiences but I am wondering if anyone else has had these experiences? It was quite upsetting because it took a lot of courage to seek help when I needed it and to be that vulnerable and then made to feel like a waste of time and space was hard.

School holidays and feel so depressed having no mum friends

replies: 2

Hi everyone, im finding these school holidays so isolating and lonely. Not sure if it’s because we have spent most of the last 2 years in lockdown and this adds to it or not. I’ve got 2 autistic children and looks like my 1 year old also has autism so we can’t leave the house so easily. We have no backyard as we moved into our new build house, so we are essentially stuck inside 4 walls all day everyday. My husband works long hours, or works away or nightshift with his own business. It makes for some super long days just watching the clock. It’s not so simple as going for a walk or a bike ride or a playground as we need both parents here to help. my father passed away from a cancer battle almost a year ago and my dog also passed around the same time. These deaths along with the birth of my daughter all around the same time made me realise I essentially have no friends. No one really cares. I totally understand, we can’t attend birthday parties, we try and usually have to leave early as the anxiety is too much for the kids, can’t do play dates with lots of kids even play dates in our home is hard. I can’t ever catch up with just the mums for a kid free night as my husband is always working. so I totally get and can understand why I can never make proper friendships. But jeez it’s lonely. it’s school holidays once again and here we are with not a single play date request for either child. Look I get why but I’m also so sad for them. They are so beautiful and wish they had friends that understood them and wish I did too. I’m literally going bat shit crazy sitting inside 4 walls all day long. Think I’m suicidal, I’d never do anything coz if I did there would be no one to look after my kids, I also can’t get help at an inpatient facility as again no one to help. My mum lives in the same suburb but I can tell her I feel this way as she would message everyone in her phone to tell and I can’t ask her for help with the kids as she whinges that they will mess up her house or she is exhausted or she loves to give me a play by play of autistic behaviours she has observed. I just feel so exhausted and depleted. I feel so lonely and like I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m also trying to find a new school for our kids as the current one is not suitable and we feel maybe a complete new move would be best and start fresh down the beach somewhere. It’s just all a bit much right now and I feel so lonely and so depressed. not even sure any of this made sense.

Suicidal and Anxious

replies: 1

So, I’m 20 years old and dealing with some sort of eating disorder, every time I put food in my mouth, I feel sick. I’m not trying to lose weight but now I’m extremely underweight, the doctor’s say its psychological maybe ARFID. I tried to see a hypnotherapist, but they cancelled my appointment that I had been waiting months for. I’m also failing University and in massive debt with no income, I study all the time, but I still fail the subjects I can’t tell my parents about it. I’m supposed to be a genius I got A’s in school, but I got 20% on my last exam even though I answered all the questions. I suffer from anxiety and get panic attacks all the time in public, I try breathing slowly but it never works. I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life and I’m 20. For these 5 reasons (eating disorder, failing uni, broke, panic attacks and loneliness) I get suicidal thoughts every day. When I’m trying to go to sleep, I spend 30 minutes thinking about suicide. I’m agnostic but I hope there’s an afterlife because I won’t be around much longer at this rate. This is a copy and paste so I don’t have to rewrite everything on each site I use.

Hating my life

replies: 3

I’m new to BB. I just hate everything. I’m depressed still and have no friends and no SO and can’t even get a date (been using online dating for two years and virtually nothing came out of it except one relationship which lasted only two months as he had anger issues. I just want to meet a guy who is the rigs kind of man for me and be a Mum. The idea of not achieving these things makes me feel like I’ll not want to go on once that time comes. I am now 40 years old. I’m having a lot of suicidal ideation over this, but also over other things like having depression, several anxiety disorders, Complex PTSD, being socially Isolated and having no friends and feeling apathetic most of the time. I also have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) symptoms at the moment which makes everything worse. I don’t really see the point in living. I just can’t find meaning in my life. Oh, I’m new to BB. Can anyone relate a lot to my post? Thanks in advance, and best of luck to everyone on these forums. Trina

I’m stuck and scared

replies: 4

Hi everyone, I’m sorry about this vent post. I just feel really lost. Please stay safe and take care of yourselves! If you get triggered easily, please scroll. HUGE TRIGGER WARNING!! Please stay safe. I’m 15 years old, and I’ve had depression for 3 years. I got diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety when I was 12. I started doing self-harm then too. I feel like I’m slipping away. Like I’m drowning in an ocean full of my own tears. I’m just watching my mom trying to fix her broken child. Watching her spend all this money on this broken porcelain doll. Trying to glue up every little piece. I’ve been to every counsellor. Every doctor. I’ve told them about the voices in my head. About the tendencies. Every time I walk past an object that I could use, I start breaking down. I cry over tiny, little things. I’ve changed my anti-depressant medication 3 times. It even made me put on 30 kg. I’ve tried everything, and I just feel like nothing is working. It’s like I’m running out of time. I’m running in a pointless circle. But my legs are broken. I look into the mirror, but I don’t recognise myself. I just see a broken porcelain doll. That my poor mom is trying her hardest to fix. Those tiny little pieces scattered all across the floor. She’s picking them up and gluing them together. Watching her break. I’m really stuck here, I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. Then again, I’m sorry about this post. Please drink lots of water and take care of yourself. I love you!

Therapist dependency - Am I a bad client?

replies: 19

My therapist made it clear we have issues with our professional relationship. I came out from my first trip in a mental health ward and had a support worker who visited me twice every week and was there for me between these meet-ups. From then, I was transferred to a community mental health team and assigned a therapist who only saw me once a week. I used to have breakdowns mid-week, and would attempt to call or email her and ask for calls for support. Most sessions, I was unable to speak truthfully due to anxiety, and would send clarifying messages after. Overtime, she began to say my calls were not helpful, and overall gave off a vibe that I shouldn't call her. She was always busy, so I was very anxious to call. Eventually, she said no to all texts and emails based around therapy, which had become my only way to communicate truthfully to her. I tried to suggest other options, like maybe some kind of personal chat room for our sessions (which were almost always calls during COVID times) but she said it wasn't allowed in any text format. She said it wasn't "therapeutic" and was crossing boundaries, even when it was me trying my hardest to be a helpful client. I know I am dependent on her, and she said so too. I brought up the possibility of dependent personality disorder, but she didn't really...focus or continue that conversation. (Not diagnosed with it). She never really helped me understand my dependency, or work through why it was there, or come up with alternatives or anything. Is it my fault? Was I acting out of turn and being a bad client? Cause that's how I felt every time she told me my emails were out of line and ignored my texts trying to explain. Should she have focused more on trying to help me cope with these dependent emotions? I feel like she sort of just...cut me off. And maybe that's the only way, but it didn't help me to get over it at all. This experience happened earlier this year, and since then I have only become more meek around her. I never say no or assert myself, I blame myself for everything the time. I never want to bother her, seeing her makes me want to cry. I feel so angry that this was allowed to go for so long, but I hate myself for feeling anything negative toward her. The whole thing has given me a LOT of self-loathing. We tried a new psychologist, and I immediately had the same problems. Are there therapists who can help me deal with this specifically? (Sorry for such a long post ;-; It's very complicated)

Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section replies: 0

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

I thought I’d be dead replies: 9

so tired of everything replies: 20

Feeling like a terrible person replies: 17

Struggling to update my safety plan replies: 5

Interactions with health professionals replies: 23

School holidays and feel so depressed having no mum friends replies: 2

Suicidal and Anxious replies: 1

Hating my life replies: 3

I’m stuck and scared replies: 4

Therapist dependency - Am I a bad client? replies: 19