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No help for the desperate

Community Member

Hi, i realise this wont be posted straight away, im on hold to beyong blue trying to talk to somone, its been over 26 mins now, no time at all in other matters, i tried the mental health line and and lifeline first but couldnt wait past the 20 minute mark. Im still on hold to BB because i dont know what else to do. I know it will most lijely be too late to get help here but i have to try, as a last resort. My mood is extremely agistated. Over the top.
10/10 extreme.
Things ive tried to calm down.
ice water bath, really hot bath, bare feet outside in shorts and singlet, lavender oil, cups of chamomile tea, valarian, pacing and insividual muscle relaxation.
thai chi and breathing techniqyes got a look in too but just made me more aggitated.
this is sooo aweful.
Does anyone have the faintest clue how to relax when this agitated?

22 Replies 22

Hi there, Shazza,

First of all, our sincere apologies about the wait time tonight, I checked in with the other teams and it has been a hard night for all, sadly. Please hang in there - we will be with you ASAP.

In the meantime, watch for the cycle - it is a cruel twist of human neurology, but trying to force calm breaks calm - or another way of saying it - the harder we try to force ourselves out of agitation, the more exhausted and agitated we can become.

Never under estimate the power of visualization - it might sound really silly, but if you can imagine your heart rate slowing, your muscles unlocking, your breath slowing.... it can start to happen. Rather than demanding your body to slow down, imagine yourself already there. Try not to fight the distress, try to know it’s there and choose not to participate in it. 

Remember the calmest you have ever felt and feel yourself drifting back there. harmonised sounds and music tracks can help while you are visualizing, if you have them - but in the meantime, please stay on the line Shazza - the team will be with you ASAP!


Sophie M.

Community Member
Thanks Sophie, i didnt put visualisation but as with the gentler techniques of deep breathing, thai chi, and gradual muscle tense and release it was one of my first attempts, im trying to do a mixture of different things now, ice bath has stopped me from self harming so i might have to do that again now ive warmed up.
I hung up after 45 min wait. Im trying the inline chat option.
are you aware of any real time chats that are safe? Ive never felt this agitated in my life and ive been winning at beating poor mental haelth since i was 12yrs old.
thanks, nice just to feel heard and acknowledged.

Community Member

1) Try naming some things around the room out loud.

2) Try repeating a phrase that is meaningful to you out loud over and over again. E.g. a mantra from a religion, a line from a song, a quote from a movie: anything that is repetitive, sounds nice, and is meaningul for you. I'm not religious, but I say the "Hail Mary full of grace..." thing a few times, and that usually helps calm me down. I suspect the act of saying something repetitive out loud slows down your mind and regulates your breathing. If I'm in public and embarassed I just whisper it, barely moving my lips.

3) Count backwards from 1000. If that's two easy, and your mind is still racing, try counting backwards from 1000 by twos or threes, e.g. "1000, 997, 994, 991, 898" etc. I find anything repetitive, but with a small to moderate cognitive demand, an effective way to draw mental energy away from intense, self-destructive thoughts and feelings.

4) Play a simple online computer game, e.g. try Google searching for "online solitaire" or "online Pong".

5) If you have some adult colouring books work on one of those.

I understand the feeling of being below rock bottom, out of control, and unable to get through to anyone on the phone. Just know there are people out there who do desperately want to help. Hold on and keep trying until you get through to someone. Please feel free to keep posting here as well to let us know how you are doing. Thinking of you, and wishing you the best.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Something else you could try ...

While I use an app called virtual hope you, it includes a section called relax me. It has short guided meditations, games you can play as well.

When mind is struggling such as yours might be I know it can take a long while to be able to distract myself.

At the same time I also know that playing a word search puzzle over and over to be helpful for me.

Thanks, very helpful, im trying to play hard saduko and say the alphabet backwards.
Not at the same time.
I was not expecting to get feedback like this.
its great thanks

Thanks, ive just started playing saduko. I love word games.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Shazza71,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Put your attention on your breath, follow your breath when your mind wonders put your attention back on your breath.

Your breathe is always there use it as a grounding tool.

I hope things improve for you.

Community Member

Wow, nothing is working for very long at all. Ive been battling mental health since 12yrs of age and have used just about every tool in the box and im still super agitated.
The lovely gentle stuff that i practice daily, ie meditation, breat work, gentle groundinf techniques, are if possible making things worse.
Im in the cold shivering, think its time for another ice bath. I have one bag of ice left, and although there is a service station close by. I think its almost time for an ambulance.
will keep trying the harder brain stuff,

ps tried to add a profile picture but that just made me madder. Lol still have a sense of humour in there but not for too much longer. Eeeeeew this is extremely uncomfortable.

Hi again, Shazza!

Thank you for keeping us all in the loop. 

Please know that we would never put pressure on you in terms of any particular decisions, but in general, if you feel like it is time for the ambulance - then it's time for the ambulance.
At the very least, there will be others around you, and the thought that you can hold in the back of your mind is that you are safe!

In the meantime, perhaps a new tool you could look at is e-couch (or mood gym) so that there are some virtual tools in the background to play with.

Please give them a try and see what happens - but when it doubt, call for help, and get to safety.

Hang in there!

Sophie M.