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New and alone..

blueeyes25
Community Member
Hi.. I honestly have so much in my head right now that I just don't even know where to start. I know I'm scared to share more about myself in case this and my future threads are found or read by people I don't want them to read. I just know I need somewhere to be able to go when I feel like I do right now. Completely alone and at the point where I have regrets and wished this life was different or it just wasn't even happening altogether.
I am a mum to 4 children. Two of them have special needs. There is so much more I wish to express but I feel like deep down I already know the answer and I'm afraid to actually read it.
I just know I'm tired of being a no one. Tired of being the ONLY one that does anything in this house, the one that does all the running around, the helping of everyone else, actually GIVES A DAMN and yet they are all still angry and spiteful. Everything I do is never enough. Like ever.
Already suffer from depression and anxiety. I've wanted to increase my medication.. I don't want to feel anything anymore.. but psychologist wants to see if my current situation these last few months, changes and see if that helps how I feel.
I am so done.
3 Replies 3

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hey blueyes25, welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. We're so glad you chose to join the forums and share your journey with us here. We understand this can be a frightening thing to do but please be reassured we are all to support you and that this is a non-judgemental place. 

We can hear that things are really tough for you right now and that life at home is tense. It must be so exhausting to feel as though you are doing everything you can and yet others don't recognise or appreciate this. 

If you don't have much support where you are at, we'd suggest joining some local support groups or parent groups. You can find information on support groups is available on the Black Dog Institute site here - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/support-groups/

Please remember to reach out when you're feeling overwhelmed and needing to talk it through. You're never alone. In these moments you can get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.
 

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi blueeyes25 and welcome to the forum .You will find this safe and caring environment. I can completely understand where you are coming from with your post.I my self have two special needs children that I struggle with.I sounds like you are doing all the work and not getting any support and recognition for it.It is hard and exhausting.I think your an amazing strong person and glad you have come on here to reach out.We do care and Sophie has some good suggestions.I find it helps to vent on here and no I am heard and I do matter.
Take care,
Mark.

Guest_4643
Community Member

Hey blueeyes25, welcome.

Firstly, are you safe right now? I'm sorry your children have special needs, there's a few threads about that I believe if you would like to search, it should make you feel less alone, hopefully.

You're not alone, and these forums are anonymous, nobody knows who you are here, so you're fine.

I hope you can increase your meds or change, or whatever you feel comfortable with, and find something that works for you.

I'm sure your children appreciate you and they do give a damn. Try and take some time to yourself if you're in a position to do so.