Life is for winners

[ok_pitch]

Sometimes it appears success comes easy. Other times you are sinking, watching the sharks circle. 30 years of uninterrupted water wearing away at the hull tends to beat you up slowly and surely until there's nothing left in the tank. The only thing that improves with age is the clarity to which you watch. It never gets easier, only increasingly more obvious to where the ship is heading.

Holding on for the sake of family means over time that same family become objects of blame. "If not for you this would be over". "If not for you I would be free".

It's unfair, but it's where the mind altered by depression and neglect takes you.

I don't know why I've reached out here, but it seems significant. I'm fatigued, and it embarrasses and angers me to find me so weak, but it is no surprise.

live your life and be happy if you have even a small part of your mind that still finds hope or joy or love... or SOMETHING. It is a blessing and it hurts when it is gone.

[geoff]

Hello ok_pitch, it always does concern us when somebody, like yourself, is feeling this way because we have been in a similar position and know exactly how you feel.

When you are suffering from any type of depression, our strength goes and don't particularly care about what's happening around you, maybe sometimes we do blame a person, but eventually, this isn't necessarily going to make us feel any better because they may still be an influence, this is when they need to blocked out from our life.

If they remain, then you aren't going to begin to feel any better, you may while undergoing therapy and away from this person, but as soon as the two of you connect then you're back to square one.

It's so much more than disappointing when you have success in your life, but then stricken down with depression, the floor collapses and loneliness prevails and how can we justify to those around us why this has suddenly happened, simply because do they ever believe what we're saying and unable to achieve what we could do without any trouble, now it's impossible.

Great to have you with us.

Geoff.

[therising]

Hi ok_pitch

So many years at sea with no solidly reliable navigation equipment can be seriously mind altering. No wonder you're so exhausted. You deserve recognition for your efforts to keep afloat.

Personally, I'd spent 15 or so years at sea in depression, until I finally found myself on solid ground. Looking back, I'm able to make better sense of resentment toward family and friends. I'm wondering if you can relate: It's like you've got people around you, beside you in their own boats or above you in helicopters calling out on a megaphone 'You just need to try harder' or 'Just head in that direction' (as they point in some general direction). You just want to scream 'Why can't you give me what I need, instead of telling me stuff that makes no difference?!'. I realise, such people were never equipped to make a difference. Even some mental health professionals don't seem to have the right equipment. Some do, yet you can be left waiting weeks for rescue. It's seriously tough, navigating depression. A lot of people don't realise just how tough it is until they're in the same boat, so to speak.

You mentioned 'I don't know why I've reached out here, but it seems significant'. Personally, I found that when a certain type of internal sat nav comes on line, offering direction, it proves important to trust it. It kind of glitches in and out at first but eventually becomes more reliable. The biggest challenge can come down to overriding direction that comes from elsewhere. Give you a couple of examples:

• You may be surrounded by people who direct you with 'Depression's not real. You just need to pull up your socks and get on with life, like everyone else'. The challenge is to tune out from that kind of stuff and tune into 'Depression is significant to the point where it's not only mind altering but it also alters the chemistry in the body. It is definitely real. So real that you can feel its impact on many levels'. So now that you're fully tuned into what's real, you can begin to consider how you'll manage it
• You may be surrounded by people who insist 'You're too sensitive, you need to toughen up!' Tune out from 'You need to toughen up' and tune into 'Based on my sensitivity, what can I sense here?' Can you sense unhelpful advice and even degradation? Can you sense when someone's triggering you and why/how? Can you sense inspiration when it comes? Can you sense a serious lack of it? What do all these things feel like? How can you navigate through your senses?

🙂

[amberlite]

Hi OK, I think life is for living as best we can and for as long as we can. Personally I look to the animal kingdom for evidence of life having a bigger meaning. How eco systems are massively complicated and yet they work, every animal has a niche just like us we are all here to play a part in a greater world. Looking beyond a circle and getting lost in the wonders of life. That's all from me and I bid you great luck, bye bye.

[ok_pitch]

Thankyou for the replies, fellow travellers. I appreciate the support and hope you are experiencing fair wind.

Look out for each other

x