I need help and guidance

[anna123]

Hi, I've been going through a lot of things for the past decade, and things got worse during high school. I am out of high school now but things are still so overwhelming. My parents are unsupportive and they don't believe that my depression is real, or that my self-harm and anxiety is real either. I've been trying to help myself for years but recently I've just gotten so exhausted. Because I migrated twice, I have no deep long term connections. My partner was the only one who showed up when things got really bad, but they have no idea what they're doing either and they rely on me to tell them what to do. I guess I just need advice. I've been trying to learn how to regulate myself, learning the next steps, and not burdening other people. Now I'm just tired.

[indigo22]

Hi,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I am sorry to hear how overwhelmed you are feeling, it really is exhausting trying to deal with mental health issues without support and without family acknowledging your struggle.

Have you looked into counselling at all? Or perhaps medication?

I can offer some suggestions, but would like to know what you have tried so far if you are willing to share. You don't have to do this alone anymore, this is a safe and non judgemental community and I am glad you found your way to us. You will never be a burden to us, we all know how hard it can be and we will be here to support you.

Please get back to me when you are able so I can offer some advice and suggestions to help you.

Take good care of yourself,

indigo

[anna123]

Hi indigo,

Thank you so much for your reply. I've been going to therapy for monthly for about two years, and recently I've increased it to fortnightly. I have a GP who is currently topping up my mental health care plan, and I would like to do therapy weekly, but because I am funding it myself I'm kind of limited. I don't really have much knowledge about medication, but I do get panic attacks pretty frequently. The hard part is that sometimes I don't believe myself because of what I've been told to believe about mental health, and I don't have any official diagnoses so I end up thinking I'm faking it.

I also want to ask where I can find more advice? I have been using the internet but it feels kind of isolating and there is so much information that I'm not really sure what I should be listening to. I have a few friends but I've stopped talking to them about my issues because whenever I would open up they would get really uncomfortable or try to avoid responding. 

[indigo22]

Hi anna123,

It sounds like you are not getting much support at all outside of therapy which does make it harder. It isn't easy to find friends that are willing and able to handle the more difficult experiences, mostly because they don't have an understanding of what you are going through.

I'm not sure what you have been told to believe about mental health but I can assure you, if you are seeing a therapist and doing your best to find help, you are not faking it. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of ignorance about the effect that mental illnesses have on the person going through it.

Has your GP suggested the possibility of medication to help you with the panic attacks? If not, perhaps have a chat with your GP and/or your therapist to get an idea of what may be available to help you. The internet is a great place to get general information but it is a mine field when it comes to health. It is always best to ask a person in the medical or therapy field to get answers to the big questions.

If you are not keen on medication from a GP, there is also the option of going to a naturopath who can offer more natural options to try first to see if they help. I have found reading books on mental health beneficial as it helps you to understand your emotions and reactions better. Again, this can be a mine field when it comes to books and it is best to start with books that are written by professionals who are high up in their field of knowledge and research.

A few suggestions of authors of this calibre would be Gabor Mate (several to choose from), Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), Peter A. Levine (several to choose from), Deb Dana and/or Stephen Porges (they both write on Polyvagal Theory, but I find Deb Dana writes more for the population without medical background), Mark Wolynn (It Didn't Start With You). Any of these would be a good start.

As far as getting further advice, I would suggest the helpline below as a starting point (I am making an assumption that you are under 25 years of age, if I am incorrect please let me know and I will suggest somewhere else for you). It would be beneficial for you to have a helpline number in your phone for those times between therapy sessions where you find you are not coping well. They are professionals and you can contact them as needed and speak to someone in real time.

Kids Helpline – available 24/7 – up to 25 years of age – 1800 55 1800

When it is not so urgent and you just want to talk about things and how you are feeling, we are here to support you and you can return to this tread as often as you like.

I hope this helps and I will be happy to answer any questions you may have that I haven't covered yet.

Take care anna,

indigo

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I’m really sorry you’re carrying all this... it sounds exhausting, lonely, and unfair, especially when there is little/no support from your parents.

And you probably already know this next bit ... what you’re feeling is real. I will also add the fact that you’ve been trying to help yourself for so long shows how strong you are! Well that is also what I tell myself.

None of us really have it all figured out. I also want you to know that you’re not a burden for needing support. It’s okay to take things one small step at a time. Maybe you will find this space a place in which you can chat about what has been happening. We all need someone to listen to what we have or want to say.

Listening to you...