Hi timeforbed
I'd have to say one of the worst things about depression is the self hatred and the levels of it that can be reached. The lists in my mind that I've composed over the years during periods in depression have sometimes been long and brutal. Rehashing them, even more brutal. I'd have to say it's like a form of torture. While many speak of the different challenges depression can pose, not a heck of a lot of people address the issue of how deep self hatred can go, identifying at what stage of our life it subtly begins in various forms or how it develops ever so gradually until you can really start to feel it at your very core, in some soul destroying way.
Took me a long time to finally realise, self hatred often relates to a lack of ability, a lack skills (ones that may have never been taught to us), such as the skill or ability to forgive our self while learning to better understand our self (why we do what we do at times). The skill involved in self compassion and the ability to recognise how and why we can take self service too far at times can also be missing. So many skills, so many abilities. I think, sometimes we can come to hate our self simply through a lack of education and self understanding. Perhaps one of the ultimate goals in depression is to seek and find the kind of knowledge that becomes truly mind altering in so many ways.
