Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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So where do I go from here

replies: 9

Long time lurkier here, done a few threads but they usually are deemed not helpful and get canned. I'm alive only because the wonderful woman I married wants me to be, there is nothing else at all that gives me any reason to stay but for her I have endured and fort, but I'm tired, I don't want to hold on, fight, endure or do any of the other 100 catch frazes that people spout thinking there helping I just want nothing, nothing at all, surely that isn't too much to ask, nothing at all, to just slip away and never have to feel the misery and loathing ever again. I've tried to hold it together, I've been on so many medications over the 40+ years I lived with this, been admitted to the mental health ward, lets think, at least 5 times were my stay was greater than 3 weeks which is also when I was given the 4 courses of ECT, voluntarily, I will give any treatment a fair try in hope I might find some relief but nothing ever really helps, I'm just finishing the 4th Couse of ECT along with yet another med change so everything has changed except for the misery, it's just as strong, crippling and smothering, only difference now is ECT has wiped out so much memory that the wonderful woman I stay for is under more strain than ever because she has to keep telling me all the things I can't remember, I so wish she could see I'm just a lead weight around her neck as we sail full steam on the SS Titanic. I have other friends cursed by this same mongrel Blackdog and their wives deserted them, separated quick smart, Oh how I wish my sweet wife would also, we don't have to sell up like the others did to settle 50/50, I don't want or need anything, it's all her's with my blessing and the hope she finds someone loving and not damaged, someone to love and treat her special. but that seems unlikely because even as damaged as I am, she thinks I'm special 37 years married, 37 years of my depression and she still thinks I'm special, and if I sneak off and do what I so want to I know it will destroy her. How silly is this, I know I could make it look like an accident, She would never know, that should be enough but still I cant bring myself to do it as I still see in my minds eye what it will do to her, I truly love her with all my heart but I wish for both of us we had never met. anyone out there have any magic solution because I sure could use a way out of this nightmare

TW SH Venting

replies: 4

I recently posted on a different forum seeking advice for something else but after everything running through my head today I think I’ve had a few realisations. I think I might be suicidal. I lied to myself and my parents and my psychologist saying that I don’t want to kill myself. It isn’t exactly a lie, because I don’t, there’s so much I want to live for, but everything just seems so out of reach, unattainable. I’ve harmed myself before while on meds that just didn’t agree with me, and now that I’m not on any, the thoughts are ten times worse and near constant. The main difference is right now I can stop myself from acting on them whereas while on those meds it’s like I gave up control. The thoughts are always there though. Thinking about how I could do it. It scares me sometimes how often they’re there and that I’ve almost become used to it. Thinking about it now makes me feel sick. I don’t know what would help but I’m doing some more research. I’m going to get help, but I just wanted to talk about it here before trying to talk to the psychologist. I always struggle to get words out so maybe writing it here will make it easier.

Poor Mental Health... Again.

replies: 6

Living with this condition is terrible. I'm only 24. I feel like I was born with it, and that it is slowly getting worse as time goes on. I am experiencing severe side effects from the medication that I am taking, and absolutely nobody will listen to my concerns in regards to this. I clearly have no purpose here - so ending my life could be an option, although I don't want to do it. No one wants to be friends with me/be my boyfriend either because I am not NT. And before people ask, yes, I am seeking help for my Schizophrenia - from an excellent psychiatrist and psychotherapist. But unfortunately, my psychiatrist is moving on to a different mental health centre at some point in the near future and I am going to struggle again. I am hoping to seek psychological assistance from the head psychiatrist of the state, at my local mental health centre - boy aren't I lucky? On top of that, my mother is a perfectionist and my father has no understanding of mental health - even though they both suffer from it. I am often at fault for a lot of things - such as my parents drinking and gambling problems. I've also been reminded consistently that I need to move out of home so that I am basically not a nuisance to my parents anymore. I have been having nightmares about my mother and I arguing. I have self-harmed. I was bullied in school about my hair. I've been groomed and I had another man lead me on, making me believe that he had he liked me for me when really, he is a narcissist who has a ex-wife and daughter on the side. I have tried to be a bit more extroverted, to no avail. I am sick of being rejected. I also tried receiving closure about something from a psychic medium. She turned out to be a charlatan, and she ripped off a family member of mine, taking her money as well. I have had a gutful.

Mens emotions, sledging, bullying and toughening up

replies: 8

Society is broken. Here we are well into the 21st century and after more than 4 decades of effort by many including this organisation and we still have elements of our communities that hold the view that men should "harden up". I like AFL footy. Last night there was an incident that, from what we are told, was a sledge on the field by the Brisbane captain to a Melbourne player. So bad was the words that the victim was uncontrollably emotional, crying and red faced. At the end of the game the Brisbane abuser appeared to apologise and it seemed half accepted. An investigation will commence. Today the topic appeared on Facebook. The comments were appalling. -"you're among men now, you're not playing under 12's, harden up"- "you got the age wrong, more like you're not in the sandpit"- "Harden up. Afl isn't for you lad. You wouldn't have lasted in the 80s or 90s" So, if you cry you shouldn't play footy. If you cry you are immature so, you shouldn't play with the real men. If you cry you should harden up. How do you harden up? Besides, why should you harden up? So I did reply in that I mentioned the men suicide total for 2020 was 2384 and the road toll for males and females was 1094... less than half. Sadly we cannot change the way people think. Society, is a large slow machine that takes evolution to bring about change. TonyWK

Should i tell my therapist that I want to kill myself

replies: 8

Hi everybody, I am a 19 year old male who still lives at home with family. I am wondering what would happen if I were to tell my psychologist that I feel suicidal sometimes. I really don't want my family to know this about me. Any response is greatly appreciated. by the way, I am not in any immediate danger of committing suicide, and I highly doubt that i ever would. But every now and then I think about it quite deeply.

Limit to support

replies: 2

First of all I’d like to thank beyondblue for their past help. I know i’ve used the service alot in all sorts of states but i’ve cleaned myself up and i’m trying hard to get my life on track; not drinking alcohol, not using substances, eating right, working with my GP to get my medication right, talking to my psychologist regularly and being open and honest about my past. I just want to know if there’s a limit to support. Yesterday I reached out to your chat line and was told I should “refer to the services I was provided in the past”. I thought this was a once off so I called and got told “I know a really good book”. I was feeling low and had suicidal thoughts and just wanted to talk to someone but I guess I’ve burnt that bridge somewhere along my rocky road to recovery. I’m safe, I’m not going to do anything but I’m tired of feeling this way. From now on i’ll handle this myself I just wanted to know if your support has a limit. Thanks

Recovery from suicide attempt

replies: 9

Hello. I’m wondering if there are others like me who are well educated (post grad in psychology) and strong who have plumbed the depths that I did a few months ago.We know that mental illness doesn’t discriminate and I am a depressive. In fact, I’ve come to understand that since other family members have bipolar, I have some of those genes in me. I’m trying a mood stabiliser as I’ve had too many issues with antidepressants. For the record, it wasn’t depression that made me do it. It was caregiver burnout. I was exhausted on many levels.

How to save yourself- from yourself

replies: 2

Thankfully, I'm a survivor. Like many of you reading this however, I could have become a statistic. I dont venture into that day in 1996 very often or it becomes non productive. I had been abused for 11 years. I have bipolar, depression and dysthymia. How did I survive? Endurance Not everyone has my endurance and I'd say that quality has been the top reason for my survival. But how have I used endurance? We often mention distraction on this forum to be used in many situations like deflecting trauma, moving your thoughts onto other things. A very good tool. Well my endurance was made easier through distracting myself from the trauma at hand.Medication Purely a topic for your professional medical person but I decided early on that I was unique and therefore would not take much notice of what I "should" be on. I perfected my meds with the help of my Dr especially with dosage. This was a regular assessment over many years and to get it right in the end was truly worth the perseverance. Follow your fitment For me I was a city kid that enjoyed holidays on relatives farms. So at 17yo I left the city to join the defence. Eventually I's settle in a country town. This was very important for me. Environment is important to fit into.Employment Being unstimulated in your work can prolong depression. To seek out your ideal job likely needs commitment in education, a double edged situation. In some work, on the job training is better suited. I found 2 or 3 part time jobs were better than one full time. 8 hours working with the same people tested my limits. Refuse shift work.Sleep I needed a CPAP. Quality sleep is essentialSelf praise Fact is, we need praise but rarely get it. Give it to yourself. Be your best friend. Reject the destructibles There is a high percentage of people in society that will not serve you well. Be wary, be choosy, pick your friends and family that are a benefit to you. Enjoy Love life. Watch a flower bloom, a bee seeking nectar, buy a puppy. The basics are worth your focus.Give I feel we are on this planet to give to others but you should have a limit. Too much giving leads to giving to some that will take advantage. Be wary and "charity begins at home". Any input? TonyWK

Non-suicidal self harm over 50

replies: 2

Hi all. First time poster here. I scared myself yesterday.I am not suicidal. Yesterday I was feeling a super-combo of anxious, depressed, sad, mad and angry, including mostly angry at myself and I impulsively hit my head. I now have a floater in my eye and am going to the optometrist today to check that it's just a floater and not retinal detachment. I feel nervous about having to lie to the optometrist but am more worried about how I got to this point. How it got this bad this quickly. I need help to change my life circumstances and way I react to things I know, but for now, I am alone in this bit. I simply cannot bring myself to tell anyone I know that I've hurt myself. Any advice would be appreciated.. even to know I'm not alone in this type of experience... thankyou

Help in seeking help

replies: 3

I've been having dark though and sort of acted on them in the past. How do I get help and support when I'm afraid to go to the hospital or use the beyond blue online councillor. Ps I do have autism and communication issues

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

So where do I go from here replies: 9

TW SH Venting replies: 4

Poor Mental Health... Again. replies: 6

Mens emotions, sledging, bullying and toughening up replies: 8

Should i tell my therapist that I want to kill myself replies: 8

Limit to support replies: 2

Recovery from suicide attempt replies: 9

How to save yourself- from yourself replies: 2

Non-suicidal self harm over 50 replies: 2

Help in seeking help replies: 3