Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Kitty88 I can't do it, I give up!
  • replies: 2

Everything is so hard, I've lost so much and dealing with so much also in regards to mental health... Today I feel I'm at my wit's end, the stress and drama is too much, I give up! I'm not made for this world, I don't need to be in it! This isn't me ... View more

Everything is so hard, I've lost so much and dealing with so much also in regards to mental health... Today I feel I'm at my wit's end, the stress and drama is too much, I give up! I'm not made for this world, I don't need to be in it! This isn't me here anymore

Kentish man It’s a way out…..
  • replies: 3

Hi. I’m a 61 yr old husband of a woman who has embraced religion. (I wasn’t responsible)! For the past 6 years I have become more and more “behind her scenes” and was what a happy and loving marriage has become nothing more that a shell. I’ve written... View more

Hi. I’m a 61 yr old husband of a woman who has embraced religion. (I wasn’t responsible)! For the past 6 years I have become more and more “behind her scenes” and was what a happy and loving marriage has become nothing more that a shell. I’ve written here before, a few years ago. I suffer anxiety and depression so it’s pretty hard for me at the moment to cling onto anything positive. Even my health is letting me down. And I’m fast heading for an ending, I’m not scared of dying, I’m scared of spending the rest of my days “discarded”. I’m a mechanic, I love to keep busy and I love to feel needed. But I’m now the house keeper, and yes, I’ve tried talking things through. But a higher authority wins hands down. Have seen several Psychs to not much avail… I s’pose I was looking for a fix, but that fix seems elusive GP is a good bloke, has done a lot to help me and has just changed my Anti depressants. I’m a bit of a loner now so don’t drink (can’t socialise down the pub) so really grasping at straws.

redtornado Tired of asking for help
  • replies: 2

Hi, I just want to vent. I’ve been having a hard few months with suicidal ideation and stopping myself from going throughI’ve been open and honest with my GP and psychologist but all I get is that “they’reconcerned for my well-being” but that’s it. T... View more

Hi, I just want to vent. I’ve been having a hard few months with suicidal ideation and stopping myself from going throughI’ve been open and honest with my GP and psychologist but all I get is that “they’reconcerned for my well-being” but that’s it. Today my psychologist sent a referral to the acute team at my local hospital. I spoke to them and they referred me to safe haven and said “I’ll be ok”. I’m tired of being depressed and anxious and from now on I’ll just hide it. If you are struggling like me, please reach out to your friends and family. If you need a break go private. I’m going to try and fight these suicidal thoughts and pretend I’m ok. Don’t be like me though. Oh and I’m safe, no need to worry about me. Thankyou to beyondblue and everyone who did care about me. There needs to be more attention given to mental health from a government point of view. Take care - anonymous

LJpd81 Struggling
  • replies: 3

Hi I've been up and down with mental health issues for a while now. Depression, anxiety and self harm. I was going ok,but then I started drinking again more. Which is also an issue for me. Last weekend I did something really dumb and misused my medic... View more

Hi I've been up and down with mental health issues for a while now. Depression, anxiety and self harm. I was going ok,but then I started drinking again more. Which is also an issue for me. Last weekend I did something really dumb and misused my medication and also self harmed also a few days ago, after drinking alcohol. I hadn't done that since last year. I have had lots of thoughts of wanting to hurt myself. I emailed my psychologist and told her. I also told my best friend and my husband now knows. I hate that I am disappointing and upsetting everyone. My doctor knows too, as my psychologist called her. I went to the mental health unit the other day and I spoke to a psychiatrist. It helped. Then I felt negative, drunk alcohol and self harmed. My doctor knows too. My husband now has control of my medication. Quire rightly, but I hate not having control. I must admit if I had access, I'd probably do it again. Just to hurt myself, not something else. I've taken this week off work too, to try and feel better. I've had sharp left side stomach pains the last 2 days. My husband wanted me to get checked out at hospital. I said I'm ok. Don't feel it's an emergency. I woke up feeling a bit depressed and decided I'm having alcohol. My husband definitely looked very disappointed. As alcohol is not at all helpful for my mental health and why I hurt myself. And I know if I'm already depressed, alcohol won't hurt.

Rupes79 Alcohol and self harm
  • replies: 3

Hi,I’ve found myself in a bad place again. I’m drinking too much which is leading to episodes of misusing medication.I stopped seeing my psychologist as I didn’t feel any improvement in the last 3-4 sessions and I felt judged when I spoke about drink... View more

Hi,I’ve found myself in a bad place again. I’m drinking too much which is leading to episodes of misusing medication.I stopped seeing my psychologist as I didn’t feel any improvement in the last 3-4 sessions and I felt judged when I spoke about drinking and medication misuse. I’m not really sure who I should speak to about this right now or just try and ride it out and hope things improve. Thanks for listening.

Giggyy struggling to cope with intrusive thoughts of risky behavior/sh
  • replies: 2

Hi recently i started having more and more intrusive thoughts about hurting myself or doing stupid things like drinking (im underage) or taking loads of over-the-counter stuff to get high or something... i so far havent acted on these thoughts but it... View more

Hi recently i started having more and more intrusive thoughts about hurting myself or doing stupid things like drinking (im underage) or taking loads of over-the-counter stuff to get high or something... i so far havent acted on these thoughts but its so hard to keep them out and im so scared ill break eventually and do something really stupid... i am struggling to keep consequences in perspective despite having consequences before (an infection from self-harm); which is what stopped me for a while but now i cant keep a level head and keep myself safe for much longer i think, im very tired and scared...any advice on how to deal with this would be so helpful id be so grateful

BobbyOz Suicide help
  • replies: 4

I’ve got so many problems in my life caused by anxiety. I’m underweight and can’t eat much without nausea. I get panic attacks every day. I can’t get my driving license because I get panic attacks while driving which means I also can’t get a job. I f... View more

I’ve got so many problems in my life caused by anxiety. I’m underweight and can’t eat much without nausea. I get panic attacks every day. I can’t get my driving license because I get panic attacks while driving which means I also can’t get a job. I failed University and am in huge debt. I always get rejected by women. I have no friends. What should I do? I’m on medication and I’ve seen tons of psychologists but nothing seems to work. I feel like ending my life.

Angelhathaway I lose my free will when I'm not allowed to choose death
  • replies: 34

With the family history of depression, I was so afraid of falling into depression but the more I worried about it the more it will grow out of control. First I could say to myself, it's just mood swing, everybody had bad experience, it will be ok, bu... View more

With the family history of depression, I was so afraid of falling into depression but the more I worried about it the more it will grow out of control. First I could say to myself, it's just mood swing, everybody had bad experience, it will be ok, but it's not. The bad things happened in life triggered the depression that made me feel I could never get better again, I started to lose the basic will of living. It's no longer about the bad thing that happened in the past, it's about losing the will to do the simple things in life. Everything in life seems so difficult, I just don't want to be any part of it. Death become the only hope but it's forbidden in my religion. I started to question my religion, isn't Free Will the gift of the universe? When I cannot choose death means I lost my Free Will. How did I come to this point? Smile, I need to live for the people I love, be strong be brave. But when will this end? I still got a long time to go, and who knows what's going to happen? Hell is better than depression because at least you know it's the worst known to human consciousness. I'm not afraid of hell but I'm afraid of not knowing when I can reach hell. God please save me, I don't want to hurt anyone who cares about me, but living like this is really made it difficult for people around me. What should I do?

FrnkFntn Struggling so much
  • replies: 3

Hi,I don't know where to start. I am 54, father of two. Recently I have been hit by many issues at the same time. I live in QLD, but I have been working for 3.5 years in Melbourne for a company I co-created with others. It has been a very very long s... View more

Hi,I don't know where to start. I am 54, father of two. Recently I have been hit by many issues at the same time. I live in QLD, but I have been working for 3.5 years in Melbourne for a company I co-created with others. It has been a very very long separation from my family, made worse by COVID and months-long separations in 2020, 2021. Recently, the work did not suit me anymore and I was eventually made redundant. Pretty much at the same time, my mum who lives in the Indian ocean on a little island called Reunion Island got very ill and I had to fly there in emergency. She almost died on me once barely 2.5 weeks ago, and in total went to ICU 3 times over the last 3 months. I think she is sorted out now; I have found an aged care center for her. Afterwards, I came back to Melbourne, packed my stuff, and drove back to Brisbane to find my mariage in tatters after a lengthy separation... All sorts of things that I had not taken time to process dawned on me in the last few days: How angry (in a vengeful way!) I was at my ex collaborators, how angry I was at myself for having imposed such a hardship to my family for the last 3.5 years, and then the double whammy of a struggling relationship with my wife. This is a lot to take on. I always have had issues of depression which I have tried to cope with to the best of my abilities for the last 25 years, using breathing techniques, meditation, sport, etc, having always managed to stay away from medications. Except for two weeks 13 years ago where I had to take myself to a psychiatric hospital. So that's me. I am back home with my beloved family, trying to mend things and resume my career. I think my big problem is that I am very impatient, and struggling with panic attacks (taking Saint John's Wort). In the last two days, I have felt everything dawning on me, felt overwhelmed and emotionally tapped out. At moments, I have felt like I wanted it all to end, without actually mentioning suicide yet. I had thoughts of suicide in the past, back in 2009, when I walked myself to a psychiatric ward. Right now, I can barely function. So step 1: function, step 2: reinsert myself in my family which has learned to go on without me for the last almost 4 years, step 3: forgive and move. Not necessarily in that order... Not sure... It's just the first few days. I take it a day at a time. Depression and anxiety is such a curse... I hate it...

Guest_4593 ??? Whats wrong
  • replies: 158

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot. I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And ... View more

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot. I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel... I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room