Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

possibly_euphoria I can not help but self harm, I just want it all to stop.
  • replies: 3

I still self harm. I’m nearly 34. I got told “I’d grow out of it” when I was 23 but itself sabotage, self harming, addiction to alcohol and substance abuse is ruining me. I work in a high corporate position and everyday I have to mask how depressed I... View more

I still self harm. I’m nearly 34. I got told “I’d grow out of it” when I was 23 but itself sabotage, self harming, addiction to alcohol and substance abuse is ruining me. I work in a high corporate position and everyday I have to mask how depressed I am, hide the evidence I've harmed myself. I’m crippled with social anxiety which has always been there but I lost over 50kilos and now everyone comments on my weight and ask if “I’m sick”. My family was involved in the recent floods, lost everything…I think I carry a survivors guilt. The stories and people I met, really effected me but as I live out of my hometown, I guess I’m not a flood victim but was there as it all unfolded. I’m diagnosed ADHD and I go through serious ups and then extremely down states and believe I also have undiagnosed Bipolar. I’m so suicidal that I’m scared of what I might do. My partner has called my psychiatrist for an emergency appointment and I’ve been avoiding everyone for a month placing my phone on DND. I stay up late, don’t sleep or eat. Just drink wine. I honestly don’t see the point of being here. I have nothing to offer, no money and in debt. I can’t even be a basic adult. I need so much help to function and I’m just over it now. The older I get the worse it gets.

Lazy probably just puberty.
  • replies: 9

why, just why. why do i have to feel like this? every night its "your ugly nobody likes you. cut your wrists, run away." those thoughts repeat over and over in my head. why? probably just puberty i guess. -but my life is fine at the moment. fine frie... View more

why, just why. why do i have to feel like this? every night its "your ugly nobody likes you. cut your wrists, run away." those thoughts repeat over and over in my head. why? probably just puberty i guess. -but my life is fine at the moment. fine friends, fine mum. so why? maybe because of trauma? but that was 6 years ago why now? i don't even remember half of the stuff that happened. jesus, why do i have to feel like? maybe because the one time i told my best friend i was self harming she didn't seem to care? maybe because i don't have many friends? maybe because my face is absolutely ugly? probably just puberty. you know what's funny? i like being sad, not for attention i promise. but just when i'm alone in my room. when i'm sad i am more in the present than ever, i feel calm. i'm not trying to impress anyone i can just cry or sit there listening to music. being sad or 'emotionless' just lets me think. its as if my mind goes into this state of tiredness and self hate. where i'm the only one criticizing myself, where i'm the only one who can hurt me. but then i start to overthink everything. what if this is what death is like? sadness, empty minded, unable to feel but able to recognise hurt? only able to feel what we all truly feel. confusing huh? i guess. i mean i guess that's why i want to die so much. the thought of always being in a state of calm. nothing to worry about, no guilt. just nothing. sounds like a dream- well at least my dream. i guess im halfway there though. never showing much emotion, always tired. detaching myself from daily things. i dont know whats going on anymore, hell, i can't even remember simple things i just heard 5 seconds ago. i can't remember anything. i dont have anymore motivation. i've been down this hole before but of course, just ofcourse. i've had to fall in it again. guess holidays have really made me focus on whether life is that important to keep living for. although everyone says life is too short, then why does it feel like an eternity, why am i waiting for an end? i guess its just puberty. i wish i had more friends. no i'm not talking about being popular. i just mean 1-2 close friends who i know will be there for me like i would be there for them. i've told my best friend multiple times "i'm here if you ever want to talk" when do i get to hear that directed towards me. i don't tell anyone how i feel because they either make it about themselves or don't care.Who knows it's probably just puberty.

romantic_thi3f Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?
  • replies: 707

Hi everyone, This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important. I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often ... View more

Hi everyone, This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important. I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons. Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too. The reasons why I chose to stay - - My dogs. - Planning to die was very complicated. - I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better. and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

Black Bubblegum The only way to win this game is not play at all
  • replies: 7

I honestly feel like that at the moment. I started to feel like things were getting better, started trying to make the small victories important, trying to make the most of every day. I made career change, started making new friends and started tryin... View more

I honestly feel like that at the moment. I started to feel like things were getting better, started trying to make the small victories important, trying to make the most of every day. I made career change, started making new friends and started trying to be a better version of myself one day at a time. But I just feel like it's for nothing. Between the cost of living stuff just grinding me down, the lack of any hope for the future and now all the stuff with gas and interest rates and all this financial crap, I feel like there's no point to living. I had a call centre scam call me this afternoon and it sent me into such a rage that I just hate this world. I feel like life is a game and I no longer want to play anymore. The only value I have in my life is caring for my parents. Otherwise my life is nothing more than making rich people richer and I was a fool for thinking I could make it better. I won't do anything, I wouldn't do that to my folks, but any progress I'd made over the last year seems for nothing and I just need to vent it out and I don't want to bring down any friends or family. Thanks for listening for what it's worth.

nib Sad.
  • replies: 1

Im struggling, I am not appreciated at home by my parents. I am an only child, so no siblings. I am currently living at home, but home isn't home to me anymore, and it's been that way for years. I have disorganised schizophrenia and heavily medicated... View more

Im struggling, I am not appreciated at home by my parents. I am an only child, so no siblings. I am currently living at home, but home isn't home to me anymore, and it's been that way for years. I have disorganised schizophrenia and heavily medicated for it to the point I feel constantly sedated. I'm trying to study at the moment, and I've been doing really well, and I want to keep things that way. I just wish I could move out of home, but I have nowhere to go. I'm always tired and want to do nothing but sleep, yet at the same time I want to get a job and travel. I've worked before, but quit my job due to reasons I don't wish to talk about through a public forum. I'm 24 and have been talking to Kids Helpline for the past 5 years, roughly.

CaramelCrisp How to talk about thoughts of self-harm and maybe death
  • replies: 31

Hey, first I am safe right now. I am not thinking of things right now, and whenever I have thought about it I haven't gotten close to doing things, I'm able to take a step back and stuff. I could be in a better spot but that's the idea. So, I have a ... View more

Hey, first I am safe right now. I am not thinking of things right now, and whenever I have thought about it I haven't gotten close to doing things, I'm able to take a step back and stuff. I could be in a better spot but that's the idea. So, I have a GP appointment coming up and I know what things I need to say. Namely that I am thinking the things I am, and it's affecting my ability to look after myself, paticularly taking far too much effort to eat food. But the conversation scares me, I had to talk myself out of cancelling yesterday. Doesn't help that I'm so low energy and my GP isn't exactly local. She's a great GP though, I couldn't have imagined telling any of my prior GPs I was feeling this way, and I have seen more than a few gps in these 20ish years. So I shouldn't go to a new one just to not have to deal with a long commute. But yes, I have no idea how to talk to such a supportive GP about this. How do I say things, how am I framing them? Most google results are how to talk to someone you think is suicidal, not what to do as the suicidal person so I guess I was just hoping for some perspective. Ultimately, if I don't know what I'm doing I can go to my GP and say "hey I don't know how to say this but I'm struggling to eat or see a future". I'm framing this as a question but ig im just hoping someone's able to share their perspective and that might help with nerves. Also I tried to talk to a friend about this and, well I did everything I could without saying it to check they could have that conversation. But once they knew what it was about they weren't able to be there for me. And, I can accept that I'm just worried about them. I can imagine they don't feel great about having to say "sorry I can't do this" and.. yeah. If anyone has any thoughts on that too. If I can do anything for them.

Freddy2110 Over life again
  • replies: 2

I’m tired of depression I’m tired of my chronic fatigue. I’m tired of being disrespected and made to feel worthless and used by my mind game playing ex. I reached out to her for help last week after letdown after letdown from life these last 12 month... View more

I’m tired of depression I’m tired of my chronic fatigue. I’m tired of being disrespected and made to feel worthless and used by my mind game playing ex. I reached out to her for help last week after letdown after letdown from life these last 12 months and didn’t want to live anymore. She has been the only one I’ve ever opened up to about my depression and felt I could count on her. After I opened up to her she basically ignored my texts and calls then blocked me completely after I asked her for help. I was dealing with self injury because my life is so screwed up. Why do I still love this girl when she put me through this last year as well with her manipulation and narcissistic cruelty.

rainynight11 Do you see people differently after finding out about there suicide attempt?
  • replies: 11

When someone you know has had a suicide attempt, does it forever change how you see them? How does it affect you short term and long term as a friend or a family member of the person who attempted it and survived? I’m glad I’ve never been on the rece... View more

When someone you know has had a suicide attempt, does it forever change how you see them? How does it affect you short term and long term as a friend or a family member of the person who attempted it and survived? I’m glad I’ve never been on the receiving end of it but it does worry me the affects I may have caused on the people who love me due to my past attempt. As a survivor, I do feel embarrassed and guilty for it.

stephrose im struggling
  • replies: 3

idk im just getting really tired. ive had depression for two years, anxiety since i was 8 and it has been getting worse in the last three years. idk why i feel so down but i just cant get out of this depressive episode. idk what to do.

idk im just getting really tired. ive had depression for two years, anxiety since i was 8 and it has been getting worse in the last three years. idk why i feel so down but i just cant get out of this depressive episode. idk what to do.

Josh.T Im so tired and I dont have the strength to fight this anymore
  • replies: 4

Firstly I want to apologize if this is not formatted correctly (I never was good writing/typing tings). A little bit of back info, Im 37M, have a wife and 3 kids, my first memory of "suicidal" thoughts were when i was around 8, i come from a broken f... View more

Firstly I want to apologize if this is not formatted correctly (I never was good writing/typing tings). A little bit of back info, Im 37M, have a wife and 3 kids, my first memory of "suicidal" thoughts were when i was around 8, i come from a broken family, im on medication due to my depression, i have a phycologist that i see (not recently because we cant afford it). I really dont know what to say or why im even doing this, I just feel like i have let everyone down, i am ashamed of the type of man i have become and i am really tired of fighting. This disease has taken so much away from me, i struggle to maintain a "healthy" working life (I have to take quite a lot of sick days, sometimes weeks on end), the burden i put on my wife and others around me eats away at me. Without fail every 1 to 2 months my depression comes back and every time i does it comes back stronger and more intense. I have attempted suicide twice before. I feel like every time i overcome my depression it chips away at me bit by bit till the point that i will do something that I and my family will regret. I just cant cope anymore, i am so very tired. Im sorry.