I am 56 years. Have not worked in 9 years due to back injury. Have not had a single close human friend in years. Can't talk with family. Own a house with my girlfriend of 20 years, but have been separated but under the one roof for 4 years, separate rooms. Have not had any effection whatsoever from a woman in 6 years. Lost all my lifes savings in a scam 2 years ago. Lost my best friend of 20 years, my pet cat a month ago suddenly. I'm on centrelink jobseeker, doctor said I can't work. Been waiting a year 1/2 for disability pension. Now they are trying to find me work against my doctors certificates. Been waiting over 6 months to see a psychiatrist. Seen two psychologists with little help. Diagnosed with Depression + Anxiety, on lots of meds. Heavily addiction to porn/masturbation. I'm lonely, intensely sexually frustrated day/night, sad, tearful, not coping, bored, depressed, empty inside, thoughts of suicide often. Can't go out to meet women or people in general due to home bills/low jobseeker payments. Isolated for some years now, hanging around by myself day/night. Feel trapped with no way out of my situation. Now might have to sell our house. Because I'm getting to frustrated for intimacy + it takes money for that. I hate sleeping alone + being alone in general. I miss my pet who gave me comfort, so much. I don't have any kids. I have no support, no good advice, find it hard to make decisions or the right ones. No good advise. Live with a sometimes verbally abusive + manipulative ex who I have nothing in common with + doesn't understand or wish to hear my problems. I have no one to encourage me or share my pain, feelings with. I hate my life and want to see my only dear friend, my pet again. I don't know what to do, I feel so lost, helpless and desperate. If I do see someone of the opposite sex that I like. I'm afraid to talk to them + plus feel insecure, because I don't want to be boring. But seriously, what have I got to talk about in my life that's interesting? Plus the separated under one roof thing, would they trust me. I really hate my situation in every way. Every single day is exactly the same as the day before. I do go for walks, watch movies, gardening, but through this I still feel the same inside. Isolation, Loneliness, Depression, sexual frustration is killing me literally. How the death of my pet has made it even harder....I can't cope, I'm not coping!! Hurt so much inside!! I need real help. Have trouble expressing my feelings verbally
