I am in a hole

Supadupacoolguy

Im at that point where things seem to be okay for like two weeks and then im back to feeling like shit and it gets kinda bad.

I have basically no friends which makes school suck, and i go to a selective school and the people there make it look so effortless while im struggling all the time. I hate it at home too its like sometimes they really care and most of the times they really couldnt care. And they are like adamanat i get my grades up and even though i try really hard it just doesnt work out that well. I am stuck in analysis paralysis because I'm stressing all the time about school at home and stressing about not having anyone at school, its just like whats even the point of trying anymore? I just want to feel happy again.

Thank you who ever is reading this for taking the time to listen to me talk about my life

indigo22

Hello,

Welcome to the forums, I am so glad you found your way here and thank you for reaching out to us.

I'm sorry to hear how difficult life feels for you at present. The teen years are the toughest ones to get through, moving from child to young adult comes with so many challenges - hormonal changes, your expectations, others' expectations, more responsibility, trying to find your tribe and the list goes on.

I have a few suggestions that may help along with connecting with others here on the forums who may be going through similar challenges. You could check out this section to see if there are posts you can relate to

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/young-people/bd-p/c1-sc4-b1

One suggestion is to have a talk with your school counsellor about how stressed you are feeling.

Another suggestion is to call the helpline number below which is manned by professionals, they are very helpful and understanding, you will be in good hands. Keep this number in your phone so you can talk to someone in real time when you need to. You may find there is a wait time to speak to someone, but please don't let that put you off, it's important to talk about things when you are feeling stressed.

Kids Helpline – available 24/7 – up to 25 years of age – 1800 55 1800

My other suggestion would be to have a quiet but serious talk with one or both of your parents about the stress you are feeling. Not everyone is a good academic, their talents lie elsewhere, perhaps your parents expectations are just not achievable. If that is the case, they need to know that their expectations are putting you in a stressful state that you are not able to do anything about no matter how hard you try.

Perhaps you need to work out what you are talented at - is it art, music, sports, science? Once you know where your talents lie, you will begin to excel and feel so much better about yourself and will find friends through your common interest.

I hope this helps and please feel free to continue this conversation if you wish.

Thinking of you with care,

indigo

therising

Hi Supadupacoolguy. Love the name, btw.

I think that when we start to get a whole number of key revelations, as to why we're struggling, everything starts to make more sense. The key revelations start to unlock the best ways forward. 'How to gain those keys?' becomes the question. Talking things out is one way. Getting a better feel for things can be another. A sense of wonder and some research can be yet another. There are a whole number of ways. Indigo22 has offered some brilliant possibilities regarding the way forward that could end up being helpful. Which way/s forward feel like a possibility or feel like they could lead you in the best direction?

There can be a whole range of valid questions when it comes to a questionable academic performance

Are the teachers catering to your learning style?
Is the work uninteresting or actually boring? Can definitely be challenging to focus on what's boring. In other words, are there focus issues for really good reason?
Regarding focus, it can be impossible to focus on anything outside of our imagination while we're in there. If we're seeing all our struggles and/or worst case scenarios playing out in our imagination, it can be distracting from what's going on outside of our imagination. While some people may question our memory, how can we actually remember what was never ingested and fully digested in the first place?
Being stuck in a state of feeling and analysing our thoughts and feelings (while doing it all on our own) can be hard work and time consuming, leaving little time for anything else. Finding someone to wonder with us and analyse with us can help us hit on certain revelations faster and therefor free up time for other things that need our attention
Emotions can also be a distraction. If 'emotion' is 'energy in motion' that we can feel moving within us, the stronger the energy the more able it is in shifting our attention towards it

It's a long list, so I won't go on.

It's definitely easy to feel people not caring in the ways we really need them to. It's like 'I can feel you caring about this but when it comes to that, why am I getting the vibe that you couldn't care less?'. This is something it took me years to make better sense of. There can be a whole stack of reasons but I'll just name four. 1)Some people don't know how to care about a particular challenge we're facing. They have no education in the matter. 2)It's of no interest for them to care about it. There's nothing in it for them. They don't have time to care. If things are serious enough, they need to find the time by taking time and attention away from something else. 3)They're not conscious of what they need to care about. With that last one, Indigo22 mentions talking to your parents and leading them to become more conscious of just how much you're struggling. Being a parent myself (a mum), I'm not always conscious of things until my kids lead me to become more conscious of them. Every parent needs a wake up call occasionally. We can be asleep or half asleep to certain things at times, that's for sure.