How to ask for help

[KaiyaE]

I've been doing somewhat ok this year. I finally remembered what it was like to feel somewhat happy. But this week I feel myself going down a spiral, and I can't get myself out of it. I'm getting into the habit of self-harming whenever I'm upset .. again. After 8 months of being clean. 

It's like my brain won't turn off, and I don't know what to do. Whenever I'm upset, suicide is the first thing that comes to mind, and it's never just a thought. It always escalates. I'm honestly scared about what I might do to myself. I just want my brain too turn off.

I have a teacher at school that I trust, but I don't know how to bring this up to her. I don't want to put any extra pressure on her, her job is hard enough as it is. I mean... She has to deal with the year 10 boys, that's painful.

So I guess, what I'm trying to say is how do I start that conversation? Because I have no clue.

[Sophie_M]

Dear KaiyaE,

Thanks for being brave and open here, KaiyaE, and letting us know what's going on for you. We can hear you've had some really good moments over the pat 8 months of feeling good, but things have got a lot hard recently. You've made a powerful step in sharing it here, and in planning your next steps for getting some support. 

We understand that you would really like to tell your favorite teacher about your current struggles, but you are concerned that you might over-burden her. After all, she already has enough problems given that she needs to deal with all those annoying teenage boys.

We would like for you to consider that your favorite teacher is, in fact, a teacher. She has been taught how to deal with, and control, all those annoying teenage boys that you struggle so much to deal with. In fact, we would strongly suspect that your favorite teacher has not only been trained on dealing with those annoying boys; she has also been trained on ways to help you, and other students, who are struggling with desires to self-harm. Please give your favorite teacher the trust that she may well be able to start the process of helping you to receive help. We feel pretty certain that your favorite teacher would prefer to be given the chance to help you, as it would tell her that you trust and respect her.

If you would like to practice with someone on ways to talk with your favorite teacher, please call our mental health professionals on 1300 22 4636. They are available anytime, both day and night, every day of the year.

Finally, we would like to encourage you to post again here, whenever you would like to. We are always here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[Croix]

Dear KaiyaE

I'm glad you came here and have already met Sophie_M, who talks a lot of sense. Seeing your teacher perhaps in a different light and suggesting practice are both pretty good ideas.

When I look back on the times I've been suicidal I've not asked for help - at least until it got unavoidable, and looking back that was a pretty big mistake. I ended up making attempts and I was that much harder to help, given the long time I'd been silent.

I'm good now, thought it took time and professional help.

I gave myself all sorts of reasons why not to ask for help. It was not me, it would create a lot of fuss, it might give my partner too much of a burden - she had enough already. There were more reasons, however I'm sure you get the idea.

To be a bit blunt about it they were all completely wrong. The relief of telling someone felt like a huge weight was no longer pressing me down, and at the same time it was the  first step on a journey to a pretty reasonable sage of recovery.

People actually helped me, were non judgmental, and their help was effective - I was no longer alone struggling.

So please do not make my mistake and try to carry on solo, please learn from my experience.

So what do you think?

Croix