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Help needed

Farmer680
Community Member
Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.
185 Replies 185

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Farmer,

You have been through hell and came out the victorious one...because you were the person, that a very ungrateful girl lied about...The truth came out in the end...I am very happy that has all passed now...Unfortunately your mind has stored those horrid times you’ve been through and now it seems like it’s causing you some mental health problems...Which I am deeply sorry about..

Farmer...If you can and feel up to it...would you consider talking to your GP about the way your feeling and thinking...Your GP can help you if you have depression or anxiety....if it’s gone on to developing a form of PTSD you will more then likely need professional help to get through this.....I’m not saying you have PTSD..I’m not a Dr or professional...I mean you’ve been through so much trauma with this girl and maybe it’s still effecting your everyday life and living...,

Farmer..Please don’t be sorry about talking to much...honestly the more you do talk the more we can support you...You seem a very gentle person and you have been wronged in a way that effects you in a way you’ve never been effected before...and it can be very scary....

We are here for you dear Farmer...whenever you feel up to talking..

My kindest thoughts Dear Farmer...with our care..

Grandy..

Farmer680
Community Member
Hi very sorry everyone the girl who made false allegations against me and my family and it got thrown out of court has now gone to another foster child who lived at our place and put stuff in his head about me the police were at the farm today i had to be interviewed this has already been HELL on earth for me and my family when is this EVIL person going to stop she has told him to make up a story about me and go to the police I don’t know if I can take it anymore honestly she won’t stop why aren’t the police arresting her for false allegations how can they get away with it, she’s now 18 I am only casual in my job soon I will have nothing left to sell I can’t take anymore sorry

Hi Farmer680, 

There's no need to be sorry, this community is here for you, and has as much kindness, understanding and advice as you need. It sounds like a really hard time, we're sorry to hear that this has happened. 

We're really glad you could share here, though. Please remember you can call the Beyond Blue line on 1300 22 4636, at any moment you're feeling overwhelmed, distressed, or want to talk things through. Our counsellors are always really happy to help and would love to help you work out the next steps to make sure you're supported through this difficult period. If you'd prefer to contact them on webchat or email instead, you can do so here.

We can hear how difficult a time this is, and we know you've struggled with depression. Have you spoken to the GP about this in the past? It's something our counsellors can help you to plan out, if you'd like. We'd also encourage you to have a look at the Beyond Now suicide safety planning app, here. If you feel up to it, you can even call Lifeline on 13 11 14 and complete it with one of their counsellors over the phone.

Please know that we are here, and if you want to share more our kind community will be happy to listen. We hope we can bring you some comfort, and help you to get some support. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

Sorry it’s to hard to keep going I was all happy started my new job now it’s just gone downhill how do I pick myself up now the dark thoughts are over powering why do people do this why do it to good people that were only there to help is this the thanks I get it’s harder than it’s ever been

Hey Farmer 🌿 and everyone

Oh man what a malicious spiteful piece of work she is.

Matey one of my first thoughts amongst a few others about her is the fact that it got thrown out of court.
I hope that will be strongly against her and that this rot stops here!

You poor man you've been/going through so much.
Matey seriously don't let her take anymore from you mentally.
I know the depressions been strong and how hard it is to handle but it is doable.

I also know you have it in you to get on top. You have and can again Farmer.
Depressions making you feel and think you don't.
Ignore that and explore what you have in your life that's worth fighting for bud

• Your Loving family
• A nice home I imagine
• Friends
• Hobby farm
• Playing guitar
• The animals
• Your job (that maybe could go full time)
• Good memories
• Nature...the beauty of

These are things to think about and why they make you happy dear man.

You have a right to be again Farmer.
She clearly has serious problems.
You did right by her and her sister amongst others.
You certainly don't deserve this.

Just don't give up or allow any further bad thoughts ok matey.
She absolutely can't win!

I think it'd be wise to make contact with some one from the numbers Sophies given Farmer.
They can help guide you and be another outlet.

It's too much to tackle alone not that you are of course because you have friends that care deeply for you and yours here as well.

Suggesting too if the Dr can help you with sleeping which I imagines gone South too. Every help to gain strength and energy's needed.

With you every step good man and your family 🌿



Thank you the thing is she’s going around to the Foster children we used to have on the farm putting stuff in to there heads who’s going to stop her I don’t think we can bounce back after this it’s to much the pressure and dark thoughts are in control sorry

Dear Farmer 🌿

Ah matey she's a vicious piece of work.
This is SO damned wrong.
My heart truly goes out to you all.

Anthony I really do get that it's too much. The pressure would be immense.

These feelings are best not to be thought anymore about because then we feel them and they avalanche.

Our focus needs to be directed to coping.

The only reason to be sorry is if you give up good man.
Please hold on.
You have a lot of reasons to keep going including love.

Matey It'd be hard to feel worse than how you are now I know.
There's a reason for hope...that this'll in time be behind you to then build a better life again that you all richly deserve.

Yes times needed to heal which with the right guidance can help.
I know you have the strength to call on it's about learning and applying how. It is in us.

Strength resurfaces through our thinking.
By allowing other thought of how to cope.

Your strongest lifeline at this stage is NOT allowing further thought about giving up.
It doesn't solve problems and there's no gaurantee it takes them away imo.
You have a right to live and know happiness again.

If we don't think about the pain we won't feel it as easily.
It blocks room for coping thoughts.

Instead... how can I cope with the stress.

This sounds small but it does help with stress.
Our bodies tense under pressure. We need oxygen.
Breathe good man. Deep long & often.

On breathing out relax your neck and shoulders.
Focus on feeling the muscles softening.

If you can walk outside observe your surroundings, grass trees sky sun light animals etc.
Can you feel wind or warmth on your face. Listen to sound. Be one with it.

When thoughts bombard as they will, tell yourself I'll deal later and calmly refocus on your surroundings/breathing.

These don't take it away but they can give your body and mind even a temporary break from downs. We hyper focus in hard times making it hard to have helpful thought or pleasure.

Believe you can and you're more likely to achieve.
Honestly I do believe in you.

Sending warmth & care to you and your farmer family 🌿

Hi very sorry for taking so long to get back to use well these second lot of false allegations never went anywhere now she is being investigated I feel better today but just want it to end all the lies so we can get back to a normal life instead of waiting for more false lies, thank you everyone for your support I really appreciate all your help. Regards Anthony

Hey Mr Farmer 🌿 Anthony ☺

Wow that's really good news so glad to hear it's all settling. Good job she's being investigated she's caused serious grief for many people.

Hope your lives recover well and good things happen for good people.

Never feel bad for a late reply just so pleased to hear how you're going.

Often thoughts

Take good care good man ☺

Sorry more allegations I am at the lowest I have ever been today I can’t handle much more I am arguing with my wife it’s put massive pressure on our family it seems to be lies after lies I don’t know what to do I just feel in a lonely world of my own sorry