Hi not_dead_yet,
I’m really glad you posted. Reading what you’ve written, it sounds like things feel incredibly empty and confusing right now. Like you’re moving through life without really feeling connected to it. That “nothing feels real” experience can be really unsettling, and it’s not attention seeking to say you’re struggling. It sounds like you’re trying to make sense of something that feels very hard to explain.
When you said you thought you’d be gone before your birthday, that stood out. That’s a heavy thing to carry. I’m really sorry you’ve been feeling that low.
Addiction can also add another layer of shame and feeling stuck, especially when it feels automatic or like an obligation rather than a choice. That doesn’t mean you’re weak, it often means something underneath needs support.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. If you’re in Australia, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 anytime, or chat online. You can also reach the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or via webchat. If you’re outside Australia, I can help find the right number where you are. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 000.
It might also really help to speak with a GP or mental health professional, especially about the feeling that nothing is real, that’s something that deserves proper support and care.
You matter more than your mind is telling you right now. Please keep talking here. We’re listening.
Sophie M
