Hi PocketRocket
Ongoing exhaustion can definitely be a trigger regarding depression. Happens to be one of my most significant triggers. I have to manage ongoing or pure exhaustion strategically, otherwise I face depression. When that happens, the internal dialogue becomes hell to deal with.
Spot on. If our inner demons were given one job it would be to make sure we never feel good or, if you're a religious person, feel God/the God connection. Personally, I'm not religious but am a soulful gal. I couldn't manage without a more soulful understanding of self and life. Each to their own.
Wondering if you can see the 1 positive step forward and 10 steps back in a slightly different light. Just say I take 1 positive step forward in raising myself by confidently accepting extra shifts at work. In doing so, I feel a sense of progress while feeling like I've become a real team player at work. I feel good about myself, my job and my connection to the people there. Instead of 10 steps back, I'll call them '10 new challenges based on 1 progressive step'. 1) I have less time for life outside of work, 2) I have less time to myself, 3) I'm spending more time with triggering types of people at work, 4) I'm waking up to the fact I don't like the job as much as I imagined, 5) the job is really testing a level of self esteem I haven't felt the need to address until now, 6) I face exhaustion at higher levels than before, based on all the extra work, 7) I'm being challenged to put more energy into my body in order to cope with a greater amount of output, 😎 I'm being challenged to find people who understand how I feel, 9) my inner demons are coming to life more, based on me not being able to manage them under the circumstances and 10) my boss is beginning to take advantage of my free time by giving me an exhausting amount of shifts. So, while appearing as 10 steps back, they're 10 new challenges to manage all at once, in regard to the way forward. The way forward may involve me reaching the conclusion 'I don't function well with levels of work I can't tolerate for one reason or another'. All the challenges lead me to a constructive revelation or I may have many revelations. Are your challenges revealing something to you?
