Feeling really down and struggling

[Gray_13]

Hi guys,

I am new to Beyond Blue and to completely honest it has taken me a long time to build up the courage to reach out for advice and help. I am feeling very down and have been having suicidal thoughts over the last month. To give a bit of a background, I am a 28 year old male, I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and spent a few years on anti-depressants which helped me out a lot. As I got older I got quite a bit better but that has all changed recently.

I have found that as a male it is really hard to tell people how I am feeling. I feel very alone, and do not entirely trust my friends or the people around me. I feel like they are laughing at me or talking about me behind my back. I know this sounds a bit pathetic but it is how I am feeling and I really needed to get it off my chest. It is really hurting me feeling this way and every single day I start feeling even more down and worthless.

i really dont know where to go or who to turn to for help. As I am writing this I am nearly in tears. If anyone on here has ideas about how I can overcome these feelings I would really appreciate any advice.

Thanks,

Gray

[SourceShield]

Hey Gray,

Mate, you are not alone.

I can feel the pain in your words.

Take a good look around beyondblue and youll find some really good resources here.

A bro and I, Matt - who is on BB here, have been having many chats about helping other blokes out, and we support each other every day now.

We'd like your imput with that as well - like a BroCode!.

We have one thread going entitled - OTT --- Old Thought Thoughts.

Check it out, its in the Staying Well section of these forums.

Its just some helpful hacks...to help us when we are having a 'moment'.

We also have another thread where we touch base with each other everyday, youre more than welcome to join in with that as well!

Please stay in touch bro, and know that you are not alone with this.

MuchLove mate!

Kaitoa

[Zeal]

Hi Gray,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm glad you've mustered the courage to reach out for help on this forum. Because you have sought help for these returning depressive symptoms early, you have a great chance of seeing symptom improvements sooner rather than later. It is a shame that it's often harder for males to talk about their struggles and to ask for help. It's great that you have broken through this feeling and are seeking the support you deserve.

Seeing a doctor (GP) is a great first step. You could print the text from this post to show them, if you think that could help start off the session. In addition to seeing a doctor, I recommend saving this link to your computer: http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=37 These modules on depression are a great reference, and can be worked through systematically or browsed for specific tips.

Saving these 24/7 helpline numbers in your phone is a good idea, so you can talk confidentially to someone whenever you feel vulnerable. Beyondblue is reachable on 1300 22 4636, and Lifeline's no. is 13 11 14.

Is there a close family member you could chat to, in addition to seeing a doctor? It's important to have family support, if possible. Even though talking and interacting with others will feel more difficult at the moment, pushing yourself just a little to interact in some small way each day or two is really important. Social connections are considered a 'protective factor' against depression.

I hope this forum is a helpful space for you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[pipsy]

Hi Grey_13. Zeal has some great suggestion where to turn to for help including our helpline. Being a male you probably grew up hearing 'boys don't cry, it's sissy'. This is complete garbage. You have emotions and you should be able to let them show. I would say the depression stems from not being allowed to show any emotion. Perhaps talking to a Dr would be a great place to start. Ask if it's possible to see a counsellor to get some guidance. The 'stigma' attached to depression is lifting as more people are admitting to feeling depressed and needing help. I also strongly suggest you phone our helpline or lifeline when you need to. You never need to feel alone or that you are overreacting because you are a male. Men do need help too, most of them are starting to admit they need support and guidance. There is no shame in admitting you feel depressed and overwhelmed.

Lynda

[geoff]

hi Gray, thanks Zeal and Pipsy for your comments.
It is very difficult to decide when you feel comfortable to tell people how you feel, especially on a forum that is growing immensely, however this is a great place to begin, it's anonymous and we don't know who you are, even though you can see some of us by our photos.
Once we get depression of any type it's always there, whether or not we have overcome it doesn't matter it's just as likely to resurface at any time.
There is always the thought that people are always laughing or talking about us behind our back, maybe or maybe not, but that doesn't matter because it makes you feel very uncomfortable, which will only worsen your condition.
A lot happens when you are a teenager to when you become an adult which may in fact divert any feeling of being depressed, sometimes this doesn't happen and it only gets worse, but for you it seemed to be better until now, which I'm really sorry for you.
I'm not sure whether or not you stopped taking your antidepressants (AD) as you were feeling better but I think that you need to go and see your doctor and start taking them again.
The trouble is that people feel useless or pathetic when depression hits them, but that's certainly not the point here, you can't turn on or off any depression like you do with a tap, it doesn't work that way, because you maybe fine yesterday but suddenly this illness controls you the next day.
Never feel scared about crying, I certainly wasn't and it didn't matter who the hell I was with, if I needed to express my sorrow then I would cry.
There is one bright point here and that is you did overcome it once before, however that doesn't necessarily mean it is going to be easy this time, we hope it is, and do hope that we can hear back from you.
Ask your doctor about the mental health plan which entitles you to 10 free visits to see a psychologist. Geoff.

[Kazzl]

Hi Gray, welcome to the forum. You've had some great advice there. I just want to add a couple of things.

It's not unusual for men to find it hard to reach out for help, but, it's also not unusual for men to need it. Research shows one in eight men will experience depression in their lives, so you are not alone.

Have a look at the BB website homepage. There's a link there for men under 'Who it affects'. This will take you to some good advice and support specifically for blokes.

As well, there is a support service called Mensline which provides counselling that they describe as 'man friendly'. Just google and you'll find them.

I wish you all the best Gray, and very well done for reaching out to us. It takes guts to do that - so to me you are a much stronger man than you might think you are.

Cheers

Kaz

[Doolhof]

Hi Gray,

I too would like to welcome you to the community here at Beyond Blue. You have already been offered some beneficial ideas and suggestions.

You will find a lot of information here. If you have a look around at other thread titles, you may come across some by other men discussing their depression.

Reading some of the answers they have received may help you better understand depression, and to know that you are certainly not alone with the thoughts you are experiencing.

You may like to read the section on this site about Depression, Who Does it Affect? and read the men's section.

It is really tough when depression has your mind thinking a lot of negative stuff.

Over the years I have learnt that it does not matter what other people think about me, just so long as I know I am trying my hardest to be the person I am able to be right now.

Not that it always works! I would not be human if I didn't worry about other people's thoughts and words. I just need to learn to water the negatives down.

While you are here on the forum, you might like to have a look in the Social Zone. There are threads there relating to music, movies, pets and all kinds of things.

Hopefully you will feel welcomed and comfortable here.

Cheers to you from Mrs. Dools

[Gray_13]

Thank you so much Zeal. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to me and give me advice.

I really struggle to speak to people about it, I get really anxious even thinking about it to be honest.

I have booked in to see my GP tonight though, I am just going to try to explain everything to him.

Thank you again

[Zeal]

Hi Gray,

Thank you for the feedback! I am so glad you are seeing your GP tonight - you are being proactive about seeking help, which is great! I hope the appointment goes well, and you can explain your situation as freely as possible.

Best wishes,

Zeal

[BC68]

Welcome Gray. I am also new to BB. what I have found is people who understand us and care how we feel. I totally understand what you have posted and there is nothimg weak or pathetic about it. I could have written it myself. Please keep posting. it really does help. I am already getting to know people here and you will too. You are not alone here.