Feeling alone and tired if life

Wtbfopain2022 · ‎11-06-2022

Hi

Just going through the loss if the family big and best friend. Not the first time dealing with this and doesn't get easier with experience. Always had issues with trying to make friends with people. But always seem to end up being used, when they want help I try to help. Soon as I would like someone to talk to it feels like everyone runs to the hills. I am so tired of this rubbish. Most of my family has now passed away. It just feels pointless going on anymore. Haven't worked for many years, close friendship fell apart last year. Really don't know what to do anymore.

Sophie_M · ‎11-06-2022

Dear Wtbfopain2022,

Welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members.

Loss is always difficult and you’re right it doesn’t get easier with experience but how we manage those feelings can, with support and patience. We are sorry that you have had so much loss in your life and this has left you feeling isolated and without anyone to rely on yourself. Hopefully you will find that support here within the community and if you are willing with one of the recommended supports below.

You shouldn’t have to feel you are facing this alone, and we hope you can recognize how courageous you have been persevering and seeking support. We would like to suggest discussing these negative thoughts with your G.P and requesting a referral for mental health services. Having a professional to openly discuss these thoughts with can really help.

As stated before, we can hear in your post that you are still grieving multiple losses and encourage you to reach out to Grief line to discuss your past and ongoing grief. Their service offers support, counselling and coping strategies focused on the grieving process and related topics. They operate 6am – 12am (AEDT) and can be contacted on 1300 845 745 or via https://griefline.org.au/

Please remember if you feel the need to talk about this or any issue our counsellors are available 24/7, you can contact Beyond Blue either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

We would also like to suggest Lifeline on 13 11 14 or at https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/, they offer support and assistance for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts.

If at any point those thoughts of not wanting to go on become overwhelming and you believe you are at risk, or you no longer feel safe we urge you to contact emergency services on 000.

Please feel free to express yourself and your concerns openly and without fear of judgement as this is a safe space. Once again, we are so glad you have joined the forums and we hope that you feel welcomed into the community.

Warm regards
Sophie M

Wtbfopain2022 · ‎12-06-2022

Thank you for the reply. It feels like at times when you talk about these things people just ignore you or tell you to get over it. So is nice to something more positive for a change. Going to be challenging for a while dealing with this loss.

Ggrand · ‎12-06-2022

Hello Dear Wtbfopain,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums..

I am deeply sorry about your loss of your family friend...

I agree with our lovely Sophie...it never gets any easier with loss...my heart goes out to....

I can so relate to you helping people and then being used for doing so..,It’s really sad isn’t it how this seems to happen to very caring and kind people...

Please try hard, to know that their is always a point to continue our lives....We never know what’s around the corner....hopefully something amazing might be waiting for us...we need to hang on to find out...life constantly changes...circumstances change....

Definitely, Dear Wtbopain, you won’t be ignored here..we are a very caring and kind community and want to support you the best we can...

Talk here anytime you feel up to...we are here for you...

Hoping to hear from you again....and looking so much forward to getting to know you better...only if you want to.,,There is no pressure here at all..

Sending you my kindest thoughts with my care and a gentle caring hug 🤗 ...(if you like hugs)...

Grandy,,,

Wtbfopain2022 · ‎13-06-2022

Hi thank you Ggrand's for the kind supportive words. I go through these cycles, especially when something like this happens. It seems to start them up but noticing them more these days. I am sure will be around as I live by myself, and don't have any friends and the family I do have left can't talk to about these things. Tried to but didn't go well

Ggrand · ‎13-06-2022

Hello Dear Wtbfopain,

Like you I live alone..I have children and grandchildren but they live around 7 hours drive away and I don’t see them much at all..probably about 1-2 times a year...they both work 6 days a week and are rarely free to chat to me...I do have one elderly friend in the small village I live in.l.but don’t talk much to her about my thoughts, depression etc..

Its really hard isn’t?..when we live alone and try to get ourselves out of a depressive downer...If we had someone we could talk to, it would make it just that little bit easier...

You have us here now. and we are hear to listen to you and help support you the best we can...

Talk anytime you feel up to it Dear Wtbfopain..

My kind thoughts with my care.

Grandy..

Wtbfopain2022 · ‎14-06-2022

Hi Ggrand

Yes life is full of changes. Some are fairly easy to embrace while others can be more challenging. But are things we all need to deal with the best we can. I choose along while ago not to have children for many reasons like the bullying, being constantly picked on, teased tricked into people staying to my face they were possibly interested to finding out it was all a con. So that and other reasons made the decision to just keep to myself with hopefully a small group of friends.

So have had to deal with depression from my childhood. So had been a tough journey at times. Having someone to talk to and listen and not just hear you can make a huge difference with dealing with things.

I also hope you are looking after yourself too.

Wtbfopain2022

geoff · ‎15-06-2022

Hello Wtbfopain, hi and welcome.

When people tell you 'to get over it', they do this simply because they don't want to have to be concerned any more and don't want to trouble themselves with being with someone needing help.

It's totally different when they are wanting help, they expect everyone to drop what they're doing and console them, but when it's a 'friend' they can't be bothered.

How hard it is for someone, like yourself, to lose a family friend and then try and relate this to other people, who may not even know this person and so the sorrow has no impact, that's when it's frustrating to hear them say 'get over it', this only means they have no real connection with how you are feeling and won't console you.

This hurts.

Friendships disappear when this happens, but they aren't people you would call 'friends', may be associates but no one you could rely on for any help and eventually other friendships develop but only happens when you are ready.

At the moment it's a sad period you have to cope with and please know that you have made many friends here who would always want to talk with you, we never say 'get ---- it' because this has happened to many of us and specifically know how difficult this time is for you.

We want to be here for you.

My best.

Geoff.

Ggrand · ‎15-06-2022

Hello Dear Wtbfopain,

So true, some challenges are easy, some hard and some we think are impossible...With perseverance we somehow manage to do what we deemed impossible...I saw a while back that impossible can be changed to “I M possible”..I really liked the way that one word changed...

I haven’t worked in a paid job for over 10 years, because of my mental health...I started a volunteer job....after a few months my anxiety took over me, which eventually led to a 6 weeks stay in a mental health hospital....After I was released and with the help of my Dr. I went back to that job and continued working...it’s been around 5 years now...Volunteering has given me a sense of purpose knowing I’m helping other people in need...is volunteering something you think you might consider?....

I really am sorry, that you’ve had to deal with depression from a young age...and it’s been a tough journey at times for you...You survived those tough times, hard as it was, you did it...and your a much stronger person for doing so...I have belief in you that you will get through this depressive cycle you’re going through right now...

Do you have any hobbies that you like doing, that can help to distract those negative thoughts when they hang around?...I mostly listen to music while I’m watching the little flames dancing around from candles I light...I think having something to distract our thoughts, is hard sometimes, but with practise and patience it does get easier...

I hope today dear Wtbfopain, is a beautiful day for you..

Talk anytime you feel up to it..,

Kind thoughts and care..

Grandy..

Wtbfopain2022 · ‎15-06-2022

Hi Ggrand and Geoff

Thank you for the supportive words. I will admit I have never done volunteer work. I see work is something you need to do to get to help pay your expenses in life and not really a fan of volunteer work. Have like many been exploited into having to work for free so not a fan of the concept. But for those that do want and feel like getting something out of well it is your life and your decision to do it. As for hobbies don't have much. Use to love traveling, but that is no longer possible for financial reasons etc. So mainly listen to music try to find something on the TV like a good documentary, along with my escapism of gaming. It has helped get through some tough times.

Having dealt with challenges from a young age has helped with trying to deal with some of life's challenges but do feel like most things in life a price has been paid for it. I have found it difficult to connect trust and feel comfortable with people.