I don't really know what I'm supposed to say. My partner and I split after 20 years together. She stopped being affectionate after our 4th child was born nearly 10 years ago. I didn't deal with it well. I tried to ignore it, pretend it would get better. I guess I never wanted to face the reality of the situation. The constant rejection turned me into an angry version of myself I never wanted to be. From then on everything was my fault, because I couldn't control my anger. I was never violent, but I would constantly shout at her at the top of my voice, mostly from pure frustration. I wanted to get help for the both of us, go to counseling. But she wouldn't have it. I'd always have to apologize for my temper, but she never once dealt with the underlying issue of what was driving my frustration. We have 4 wonderful kids. I don't want to be away from them but because we can't live together I had to travel across the country to stay with family till I can sort this out. Unfortunately my Parents are both in aged care now, and my brother who I really needed at this time has his own issues and I cant stay with him either. I've had severe health issues in the last 12 months starting with an aortic dissection, followed by thyroid cancer and just 9 weeks ago had my right kidney removed due to more cancer. I have no license. Can barely walk more than 200m due to my health, no home to live in. I have struggled with mental health issues all my life. When I was 19 I was diagnosed with severe depression. I tried ending it all on 2 different occasions. The only thing I was living for was my partner and kids. Now I don't have that I just feel like a waste of space. I don't know what I'm hoping for writing this all down. I'm on my laptop with virtually no charge, so I'm probably not even going to see a response. I guess my life is so shit I have no one else to talk to. I just dont see any point to being here anymore
