cant take much more

[fluidangel83]

Im a dad of 3 beautiful children, a husband and an uncle to 4 amazing children i love as if they were my own yet im ready to say life is just too hard. I lost my mum, nonno and aunty in 2019 and my dad is 2008, i have battled my sexuality and gender every day since i was a teenager and honestly its broken me.

The kids are the only reason i am still here because everyone else i love has gone to what ever comes next. I just dont have a purpose for keeping on going anymore and its scaring me. I cant speak to my wife about it because she just says "What do you want me to say" or "i dont know what to say", i cant speak to my inlaws because my FIL would probably fly in to a rage and my mates all have their own lives now and i wont burden them

[Sophie_M]

Hey fluidangerl83,

Welcome to the forums, we're really glad you've found your way here. We're so sorry to hear of your loss and can imagine losing so many loved ones within such a short timeframe would be so painful. We're also sorry to hear that you feel as though you don't have a purpose and can't find a reason to keep living. Please know there are better days ahead of you. If you feel comfortable, would you mind sharing with us more about your battle with sexuality and gender? 

Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

We hope you know that there is always help available to you. If you are not sure of how to access mental health support, please contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

[Isabella_]

Hi there,
I can see you're having a really hard time right now and you aren't sure where to turn. It sounds like you're really in need of a support system. You've lost a lot of loved ones in such a short period of time.. That's a lot of trauma to go through at once.

You mentioned that you've been battling with your sexuality and gender since you were a teenager.. I'm wondering if this is something that's been weighing on you for a while that you haven't dealt with. Is it something you're comfortable talking about?

Thank you for reaching out on here, I'm really proud of you for it. This is a safe space for you to talk about anything you're comfortable with. I'm here to listen if you want to chat. I hope to hear from you.