Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Feeling alone and made a big mistake moving here

replies: 3

Hi, I'm new here. I've just moved interstate and feeling alone more than ever. Not supported and feel as though I've made a huge mistake. Thoughts of taking my life keep swirling around my head. I'm doing and trying my best but just not good enough. View more

I feel so alone

replies: 7

Not really sure how to write this or how to explain how I feel so I apologise in advance. I'm a 22 year old uni student who is struggling with some of the worst stress and anxiety I have ever experienced. I'm not a very emotional person, I have always struggled with my mental health and have had prior diagnoses of depression and social anxiety that I heavily internalise. But as of recent I just feel so helpless and alone, like I have hit my lowest, I can't sleep properly, I am not eating, and just don't feel like I want to be here any longer. I am not sure what's wrong with me, I struggle to maintain relationships with people which makes me feel so alone. I don't think I am a bad guy, I try my hardest for everyone who means anything to me and it just never feels good enough, I just want to feel like people care about me. I lack friendships or circles where I feel welcomed and I really wonder sometimes if people would even notice if one day I just disappeared. I have recently tried to seek help through the campus doctor and have booked myself into see a counsellor but I am just not sure talking is going to help. I could yell and feel like no one would hear me, I have overwhelming thoughts of suicide and feel like a prisoner in my own mind, trapped my by own self doubt and like nothing will ever work out. I worry about university, I worry about the people around me leaving me and I worry about being in this state forever, it's unbearable and I am kinda at the end of my rope. Recently I started seeing a girl at university and as much as I care about her I just don't feel it's going to work, we both care but the age gap for her (31) is too much and no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I care it just wont be enough and it eats me alive. I keep asking is it worth being so upset over this girl, but no matter what I can't get her off my mind. But I feel like this has been a major blow to any self esteem I had left, I care about her so much and once again it's just not good enough... I worry so much about my university marks in this bridging program and failing to achieve the degree I am after too.. I just can't focus, I try so hard to achieve the best I can and I feel like everything on my mind is stopping me from being the best I can be. If I don't make it then I think it might just be the final straw. I'm sorry to whoever reads this.. this is kind of all over the place and probably just seems like nonsense, im not good at this.

Venting, i guess?

replies: 4

I'm really struggling at the moment and I don't know how to tell my parents I've been having some thoughts of suicide and self-harm. I struggle from social anxiety and depression, and it gets worse at specific times of the year. It's coming up to the 3-year anniversary of my best friends' death. he died from a suicide attempt when I was in year 9, I'm in year 12 now. He died a week before my birthday. I hadn't seen him since we were 6, and now I can't ever see him apart from my nightmares. I hate him so much for doing this to me but at the same time I miss him so much and wish he would message me one day saying it was all just a joke. Just a horrible, twisted joke. I still lay awake at night, wondering whether it was my fault. I could have stopped him, or done something more to help him. I blame myself every day and I hate myself more and more for it. I don't know what to do any more and I don't know whether I'll make it to my graduation. The medications aren't working and I just want to die. I hate everything about me and I wish I was never born. I know I won't do anything because I'm too scared to leave my parents. But I need someone to talk to. Someone who understands me, because my parents don't. I'm losing interest in everything I once loved; hockey, cooking, writing, singing, knitting. My parents don't even recognize me any more and it's killing them. They want their daughter back, but I just want to die.

Life is really really hard 😃🗿

replies: 5

Lol. Life is hard. And school is hard. And sexuality is hard. And my parents are mean. And I haven’t spoken to my friends really in 3 months. And I haven’t spoken to my sister in 6 montys lol My therapist want to put me on depression meds. My mum doesn’t even think my therapy is working. I can’t talk to anyone. I hate my school. I just relapse after being clean for 12 days. life is really hard you guys.

I'm New here, could someone please help me?

replies: 3

Hi, I'm new here. Just over a year ago I tried to end my life, I went in the mental health ward, and earlier this year I ran away from home. I'm back and safe now, although I've had lots of things happen in the past 18 months. I've ended up here because I want support but to also not burden those around me and I don't even know if I'm doing this right but yeah. I suffered from lots of depressive episodes, general anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Recently I was properly diagnosed as being autistic. I have high functioning autism - asperger's, and struggle a lot with social cues and interaction and relationships with other people my age. I'm sorta just here to find people I can talk to who might know what I'm going through. I really need some people just as like anonymous friends I can talk to.

I dont want to be here

replies: 6

I don't really know if what I'm feeling is actually an issue or if I'm just overdramatic but I feel the need to say something. Lately I've felt really useless and like a burden to my friends and family. I feel like no matter what I do, it's never enough and I can't motivate myself to do anything to fix myself. I keep getting frustrated and mad at my friends and family for such small things and I feel really bad about it but I can't seem to stop myself. I feel really burnt out, I know I've got school work to do but I can't do it, I feel constantly tired and it takes me ages to fall asleep because I keep thinking about how I'm such a bad person. I feel like a failure but as much as I try I can't seem to fix anything. I can't stop myself from feeling like everyone would be so much better off without me. I shouldn't be thinking this because I have a relatively good life and other people have had to go through so much worse than I have. Usually I feel completely fine in the day time when I'm around my friends, but when I'm alone I can't stop myself from thinking these thoughts again. I feel like I'm being dramatic but I also feel like I have a genuine issue? I've harmed myself a few times and immediately afterwards I feel like I have no right to have been doing those things - like I'm seeking attention but at the same time I feel like I deserve it, I deserve to be punished. It's pretty much a loop where I feel disgusted with myself and feel as if life isn't worth living, and then I feel guilty for thinking these things. Also, I feel like no matter what I do to try to change myself, no one's ever happy with me. It's a stupid way of thinking, I know that I'm overreacting and that no one hates me but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just useless. I just don't want to be here anymore. I've struggled with these feelings for years and I want to tell someone but I have no idea who to tell. Whenever I try to bring up these subjects to my parents they act like mental health doesn't exist.

I feel selfish for having self harm thoughts

replies: 5

I’d probobly regret posting about this in the morning, but I just really needed to talk to someone, for someone to understand. I’m a 15yearold who struggles with depression and anxiety. I can not afford going to a medical professional nor does my family have the time to take me, they do not think it’s a great deal of an issue so I’m really stuck here with invalidating my own thoughts, and wondering if I’m doing this for attention or if it’s not a big deal. latley, I have been feeling like I can’t talk to anyone. All my friends have their own problems and I don’t want the burden of my nonsense to be on their plate aswell. Recently everytime I feel like I’ve failed or disappointed someone, I have an urge to harm my self. Ive struggled with self harm in the past when I was 12, I only did it once or twice. I do not know why. I haven’t told anyone about this and I haven’t told anyone about the constant build up of having the urge to do it again. am I bad person for wanting a break? All my friends do is tell me about their problems, and I love helping them I really do. I listen to them and I support them the way I can. For example my friend is struggling through the start of developing Ed. I went through something similar to what she is going through in the past, and still are. I listened and understood, I supported her and helped her. But I felt bad, for some reason I felt selfish for wanting her to ask if I’m okay. Because during these conversations I’d think about my self harm and intrusive thoughts. And recently she told me she wasn't doing well whilst we were on a call. And I felt like a failed. I felt like a horrible person and I felt like I couldn’t help her. everything piled up over and over again and my head started ringing. why do I feel selfish for wanting to be asked if I’m okay. I don’t have the confidence to end my life, and that’s not why I do self-harm. I do it to my self for punishment. I feel stupid

Gambling partner

replies: 6

Hi everyone, I’m here because I have literally no one to talk to. My partner has a gambling addiction and is really abusing me emotionally. I turned from confident and happy woman to a suicidal mess. I don’t have family or friends, literally no one t... View more

Having a hard time

replies: 3

I’m having a very hard time at the moment with a lot of things affecting me and stressing me out. The main one is the biggest one-my Mum and brother are stopping me from selling my house as it’s in my mum’s name and she refuses to transfer it into mine. There’s a lot more to the story but I won’t get into it all, I’ll just say that this has been building up in me for so long and I’m now at breaking point. I have a 3 yr old daughter who I care for and I know she is a toddler and is tough to handle at times…it’s just that I wouldn’t find it so stressful trying to handle her if I wasn’t overshadowed by this horrible family thing hanging over me constantly. I’m finding it harder every day now to deal with the smaller general issues lately, eg only last week after leaving my phone on the bus I almost had a crippling anxiety attack which also brought on my asthma. I felt so terrified and scared that I may have lost my phone(I got it back tho). My psych has said my reaction is the sign of a very overly stressed girl who is drowning. I’m having trouble sleeping, I’ve gained a tonne of weight and this evening it has hit its low point, I’m just pacing around the house like a caged animal losing its mind…and all I can think of is that I’d be much happier just to be dead. And that has really scared me now bcos I have 2 gorgeous daughters who I cherish and in one moment I think about them but it quickly disappears and I just think I don’t want this anymore. I try convince myself they will be okay if I died. So it’s now I believe I should voluntarily check myself into a mental facility for a couple of days bcos the thoughts are not fading and I’m feeling more and more of wanting to give up.

Can't get past it..roller-coaster

replies: 1

I am a professional and have kids. One is adult and one mid teens. I am on leave due to a suicide attempt about 5 weeks ago. It's not my first attempt. I think i subconsciously stopped because of my youngest daughter. A year ago i reached such a milestone..i was managing my depression well..and i met a nice man after over 3 years divorced. That ended a coulle months ago..because of me. I got sick..became insecure and witnessed not one but 2 deaths. One a police shooting..and then a horrific accident where a man died right infront of me. It lead to ptsd and my depression came back full force. My partner pulled away..he showed no affection or support..i guess he didn't know how to handle it. All this in under 9 months. Now I'm severely depressed and anxious and feel I'm not improving. Some days i do..but then i wake one day and just want to die. I am so lost. I feel everyone is sick of my problem. I isolate. And now my daughter has gone to see her dad for the weekend and i am feeling.extremely lonely and lost. I just wish it would stop. I am off work until august and i feel anxious about not being there..but anxious about returning. I'm so very lost.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Feeling alone and made a big mistake moving here replies: 3

I feel so alone replies: 7

Venting, i guess? replies: 4

Life is really really hard 😃🗿 replies: 5

I'm New here, could someone please help me? replies: 3

I dont want to be here replies: 6

I feel selfish for having self harm thoughts replies: 5

Gambling partner replies: 6

Having a hard time replies: 3

Can't get past it..roller-coaster replies: 1