Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

by BeyondBlue •

Community Manager•

Posted in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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8 hours ago

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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Tired.

replies: 3

hello. this is my first time on beyond blue. there's no pressure to read this but i feel like i need to put my thoughts into words. i have struggled with suicidal thoughts since i was eleven, i sometimes self harm but i feel like my family will blame themselves if i pass. i have been playing soccer for ten years and initially it made me really happy and was my escape from my thoughts; now it is the reason for them. i am on the trajectory to becoming an established soccer player (i have played for my country and state) but i really don't want to do it anymore. i have expressed to my parents how i don't wish to continue playing but i am constantly tossing it up. my parents have paid for my soccer fees for next year which is $2000 and i feel terrible because i dont want to waste all their money and hard work ($2000 takes months to earn in my family). i dont know why i switch my decision so much. thank you for reading this

Preventing a relapse

replies: 2

I'm currently over 9 months clean from self-harm, but lately I've had many ptsd triggers and it's all I've thought about. I've been sure to keep myself safe by alerting my partner, and removing any object that I could use from the house. I'm doing quite well managing these thoughts, but I was wondering if anyone feels the same sometimes? The ideation of the feelings you used to have, but no need to recreate them if it makes sense?

Trying to brave life

replies: 5

Hi all, I’ve been suffering with some intrusive suicidal thoughts for quite some time now it’s like always in my head, when I’m having a good time with friends of family I get them strongly it’s like a punishment for feeling good, I think about it so much butt I feel like I’m going to get in trouble if I talk about it to anyone like they will call someone on me, I feel guilty because I believe in God and I have such a beautiful family and partner I should love my life I just always feel like a burden and I’m so fake as a person because I have to pretend I’m okay and happy I’m just so tired I’m only here because of my family and partner. Am I being selfish? How can I silence the thoughts? Please no one report me to anyone I’m trying to be brave in posting here.

What is the point?

replies: 2

What is the point of being here, of existing? I don't know what to do anymore, I have been in therapy for over a year now and feel like I am going around in circles. I struggle to stay on track with anything for longer than a few weeks. You have to want to get better but how do you want it? Nothing matters and I feel like I'm just hanging around until I die. I haven't had anything bad happen to me to warrant feeling this way, it just is. I have no hope for anything, I can't keep my house or car clean, I don't eat regularly or well, I can't even look after my cats well. why can't i just do these things?

I feel so bad

replies: 5

I feel so disgusted and disappointed in myself. If it weren’t for my son I’d just want to put myself to sleep forever. I’m a single mum and I’m okay and like to think I do a good job 99% of the time. Yesterday I was triggered when I found out my son has been bullied. I drank too much, called my ex. But can’t recall conversation. I’ve apologised to my son but I can’t take anything back. I’m nearly 50 amd should have myself tigether but sometimes I just collapse and feel so utterly useless and disgusted in myself. I don’t know what to do

Boyfriend with anger issues

replies: 4

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year. Everything was perfect at the start but then all of a sudden about 6 months in he started getting major bursts of anger over tiny things and it was like nothing i'd ever seen before, he will start sweating and crying, screaming in my face at the top of his lungs to the point he'll lose his voice, saying the most horrible and hurtful things about me, wouldn't let me leave and threatened suicide if i tried to leave his house and won't calm down for hours. I eventually couldn't handle it anymore so I left him but he promised he'd get help so we eventually got back together. He'd still say some horrible things to me but he never got properly angry up until the last month, where he's started to have a few of these outbursts again. I know deep down it's not healthy and i am scared to be alone with him, but i just can't bring myself to leave because when he's not angry he's the kindest most perfect boyfriend i could ask for. He has history of these outbursts with his family as well. He's never purposefully gotten physical, just pushed me multiple times when i've tried to stop him from hurting himself during the outbursts. i'm just so lost with what to do.

I hate my life

replies: 1

Hi My name is Justin. I’m new here at beyondblue and I don’t know much about it but I’m hoping I can get some support because of what I’m going through. Let me explain: in 2017 I dropped out of high school year 10 because I had some anxiety, people would constantly sniffle and cough during classes, this type of sneaky bullying destroyed my developing mind. I was then stuck at home depressed and hopeless then my Aunt started sniffing so I told her to leave my house live in the garage, then she developed cancer but I still couldn’t live with her because of her sniffing. My Aunt died at the hospital , I was then kneeling at the hospital bed where my Aunt died then someone started coughing it was one of the nurses, so I shouted at her and threatened to kill her after just witnessing my Aunt die. After adjusting my life without my Aunt I felt depressed hopeless and stupid but my irritation to people coughing at me only returned with a vengeance. I stayed at home for 2 years in a row WITHOUT LEAVING my home. I felt like a damn BOO RADLEY. Then my next door neighbors started sneezing and coughing, so guess what I switched house. So I left my home first time in 2 years, the home movers workers also started coughing. I’ve been admitted to a mental hospital but got nothing out of it only more frustration and hopelessness .Now I’m a helpless unemployed loser taking medication and regularly visiting my psychologist; who also happens to cough but she says it’s her itchy throat which I reckon is bullshit. These days I am planing to go back to school so I can get a good job but I am going to have to face my fears which is by all the most horrifying thing I will ever have to face. If you are reading this maybe you to want to cough. God bless me...

I think my little sister is self-harming

replies: 5

She has these scars on her ankle that look very similar to self harm and I don't know what to do. I'm extremely worried about her as she was diagnosed with an ED earlier this year and had to stay in a psych ward for a week or so. I would approach her about it, but the thing is I haven't self harmed in about 8 months and I want to keep it that way - talking about it can be triggering for me. I don't know what to do because I'm her older sister and I feel like it's all my fault because I've suffered with depression, suicide attempts and self-harm ever since I was young.

Numb

replies: 2

Hi all, I feel so numb and exhausted from everything I’ve done to myself. I can’t explain it. I remember some things but I don’t remember how I got there and that still scares me. I’m coming up to one year since my last suicide attempt and one month since my last self harm. I know people tell me that I’m unwell when I lose control but how can I make sure that I’ll never lose control again? I’ve stuck to most of the agreements I made with the treating team in hospital since my last attempt and when I think of suicide I tell myself that’s not an option, but I have self harmed since and don’t remember much of it and that scares me. Will there ever be a time when I don’t have to be on the lookout, monitoring my moods and having a safety plan? Will there ever be a time when I don’t need a carer, treating team, interventions? What will happen when my carer dies? That’s a true fear of mine as I’ve lost too many people too young. I just don’t remember what happens to me when I’m unwell. How do people move on from this?

Struggling

replies: 12

Hi I don't really know where to start. I have always struggled with feelings or thoughts of how it would be better if I did commit suicide. But it always goes back to my sister I would hurt her. This past week I have been struggling I cannot get back for a special event due to border restrictions. I was seeing a guy who then just ghosted me. I turn 36 next month and all I want is to start a family. I feel like the hatred I have towards myself turns anyone away. I feel so sad but I can't express it and I feel trapped with these thoughts then getting louder. Distraction at night is not working resulting in me not having slept in days. Any advice or just people to tell me this will change is appreciated thanks

Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section replies: 0

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

Tired. replies: 3

Preventing a relapse replies: 2

Trying to brave life replies: 5

What is the point? replies: 2

I feel so bad replies: 5

Boyfriend with anger issues replies: 4

I hate my life replies: 1

I think my little sister is self-harming replies: 5

Numb replies: 2

Struggling replies: 12