Hello Anna, can we offer you a warm welcome to the forums and thanks for posting your comment and for not hurting yourself over the past is a tremendous effort, but this person inside you is trying to make you do something to yourself that you know is not a good idea, try and suppress these feelings because much, later on, you will have to try and justify why you have these marks and at this particular time we hope you are feeling so much better, but to rethink about these marks may lead you onto a relapse, that's what we hope you can avoid.
Just remember that what you try and focus your attention on, may not work for every situation every time your attention is on self harming yourself, so try and find a few different solutions, as one will work for this occasion but another time it won't, perhaps because the circumstances have changed.
Are you able to draw this pain, rather than actually doing it, it doesn't matter how many drawings you do, another option is to try and focus on extending your body into exhaustion, like going for a run, walk or some type of exercise where all you want is to have a cat-nap.
Best wishes.
Geoff.
