My heart goes out to you at what sounds like the worst time of your life. I'm glad you came here to find people who can hear you. To change 'I can't do it anymore it's all to much' to 'I can't do it alone anymore it's all to much' is so incredibly important, so important. You'll find a number of people here on the forums who know how this feels, based on their own experience. While the circumstances that lead us to rock bottom (the absolute depths of depression) can vary to great degrees, rock bottom brings the same feelings: Complete and utter despair, absolute desperation, a truly painful level of intolerance and an unbearable darkness with no sense of light. I can relate to how it feels, as I've been there myself. If depression was a well, I'd say rock bottom is the deepest and darkest point and it's so important that someone meets with us down there at that point, so that we're not there alone in the dark. I'm here, if you feel like talking. We can talk about anything you'd like, your choice.
