3 hospital visits

[Loula]

I feel so broken. My heart is broke In half, my brain is a fog and my body feels like it has the flu. This is all mental illness. 
 

im on 24-7 suicide watch

I have a psychiatrist nurse visit daily

i have a doctor visit daily

i have a social worker check up on me.

i have a new psychiatrist coming to my house tomorrow and and appointment with my one in two weeks.

no one wants to touch my medication incase I get worse. Plus I don’t think I can handle the side effects. 

I tried to kill my self twice in one week but failed.

the hospital let me out as I have sufficient care. 

None of my family are talking to me as I’m a mistake and the crazy v person in the family no one loves.

i feel so close to ending it. I find know how I’m going to beat this. 
 

[Sophie_M]

Hi  Loula,

We're so sorry to hear that you're struggling so much ATM, and we want you to know that we've reached out to you privately tonight. Please check your inbox.

With these feelings of high distress and darkness, we can hear how close you feel to these feelings of not wanting to go on anymore, but we want to encourage you to reach out whenever and wherever you are. It's never too much or too late - reach out and call us here at Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), call Lifeline 13 11 14, or call the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) ANYTIME (24/7). If it's an emergency, please call 000 (triple zero) or go to your closest hospital emergency department for care immediately (even if you have been told that you have "sufficient care" - if you're at risk, please reach out without hesitation).

We hope to hear back from you soon,

Kind regards,.

Sophie M

 

[Petal22]

Hi Loula,

Im so so sorry you are feeling this way.

Please know that you are loved more than you will ever know and you WILL beat this really you will.

Im so sorry that your family aren’t talking to you I understand this would feel disheartening for you.

You are part of our family now the Beyond Blue family ❤️

Please reach out to us anytime.

[Crepe Myrtle]

Hi Loula, I'm sending you love and peace. I'll keep sending you love and peace.

[On The Road]

Hi Loula,

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and that you have to go through this much. Nothing else I can say, but I'm grateful that you are here, sharing your struggles, and trying to find a new way. If you feel comfortable sharing more with us at any time, we are here to listen. 

Virtual hugs to you. 

[therising]

Hi Loula

I wish you had people around you truly loving you to life. As a sensitive person, I believe we can feel the difference between 'being taken care of' and 'being loved to life'. The heartbroken feeling is such a soulful feeling. I've found, people can be taking great care of our mind and body while sometimes forgetting about a part of us that feels most broken.

I think, while our family can proclaim to love us (often through words), sometimes words are not enough. To speak of love is one thing, to actively love is another. And when they give up their words, no longer caring to use them in ways of support, the more heartbreak is felt. I feel for you so deeply as you face this overwhelming disappointment when it comes to your family. As you come to unappoint or dis-appoint your family from actively loving you back to life, who do you choose to appoint now? You can appoint us, here. We all want only the best for you. None of us will say the usual stuff you've most likely heard over time, such as 'You'll be right. You just need to get on with life' or 'You need to stop being so sensitive and toughen up'. All that stuff is rubbish. Truth is...you need to know or discover how to get on with life (form a relationship with it) and you need to know how to manage sensitivity, for it to serve you well. 'Toughen up' equates to 'Become just as insensitive as the rest of us'. A gentle soul suffers through insensitivity.

Remain sensitive to feeling love and you will come to feel it from us❤️