Women's Health Week : body image

[Zeal]

Hi everyone,

As a woman, I know firsthand that many of us tend to be body-conscious. While this is true for many men too, this week is Women's Health Week (sorry guys) 😛

I thought we could start a friendly discussion here about body image: how we view ourselves, what impacts body image, and even share some personal experiences.

I'll start off by speaking about my own personal experiences with body image. As a child and teen, I was always slim and lanky. This was what people complimented me on, and as I had low self-esteem, I placed high value on this physical aspect of myself. I had a healthy appetite, and would eat like a teen boy when I came home from rowing trainings in my early-to-mid teens!
I put on a little bit of weight at about 16, and found this hard. I had recently quit rowing, and was much more inactive. At 17 (in Year 12), I would emotionally eat when anxious, and I ended up actually losing weight from stress. My skin was pale, I was constantly tired, and I was my own worst critic when it came to my appearance, schoolwork, and other areas. At 19, I suffered from an eating disorder, which put my life on hold for about two years. Now, at 23, I have a much healthier relationship with food 🙂 I eat healthily (generally), and have a variety of different foods. I don't binge eat anymore, and I also don't cut out certain foods. Moderation is the key. I tend not to read magazines or diet info, as this can have a negative impact psychologically. An area I know I need to work on is physical activity. I enjoy walking and do household chores, but that is my only form of exercise.

It would be great to hear experiences from others, and personal insights 🙂

Talk soon,

SM

[white knight]

Hi SM.

Perhaps with a reply from me, your post will bump up and some ladies will respond.

I'm 60yo, overweight but have a strong frame thanks to weight lifting at an early age.

I've had 4 long term relationships with women. The first 3 were petite. The last, my second wife of 5 years is overweight. She's beautiful.

That pattern can tell you that when younger body size and shape was more at the top of the list. When older it was irrelevant. In fact my wife is a bubbly funny lady...I love that in her.

But it might not be age more...maturity.

The sad part is that many of us are overweight including me, and in the past I've turned away ladies purely on their size. I feel guilty about that but I'm being honest. These are the issues facing young women.

We grew up as young men that saw the hour glass figure as the goal. What I want to say to ladies is, if you are not admired for your personality and kind heart then the guy isn't for you. Stand clear of him because he is too young and immature.

Love yourself.

Tony WK

[Fairywings]

Hi sweety nice to meet you. I too suffered an eating disorder in my early years this was my way of coping from the sexual abuse i endured at just at the age of 8yrs old. It went on for a few years. I also suffer with body dysmorphia is where ur self image will always be tainted in my eyes and i will never love my body for the way it is 😞 i now make healthy choices and yes everything in moderation is def ok. I have had a baby so would love to lose all that weight too just a matter of finding time hard when they r little they require ur undivided attention nice to have spoken with you and so proud that u overcame this xx Venessa

[Zeal]

Hi Tony,

Thanks for responding - I appreciate that! Your honesty is refreshing. What you said makes sense - younger men tend to be more aware of how a potential female partner looks (perhaps comparing them to the "ideal"), whereas more men your age (though not all of course) can overlook physical features and hone in on other aspects. I'm in my second-ever relationship (we both want it to be our last), and my boyfriend thankfully loves me just as I am. He is incredibly caring and notices my strengths foremost and completely accepts my flaws.

Your wife sounds lovely - I'm glad you're happy 🙂

Thanks again for posting back!

Best wishes,

SM

[Zeal]

Hi Venessa,

Thanks for posting on this thread!

I'm sorry to hear you also suffered from an eating disorder when you were younger. I hope you have sought support for the trauma you experienced at such a young age. I am glad that you have been through that rough patch and come out the other side. Body dysmorphia sounds complex. Thankfully you are making healthy choices and emphasise moderation.

The positive is that you focused on caring for your child. If you're healthy and your weight isn't causing physical health issues, you're doing well 🙂 My Mum has a little extra weight on, but she doesn't mind much (and she's thankfully healthy).

Thank you for your kind words of support Venessa 🙂 If you don't mind me asking, how old is your child now?
I have babysat a lot in the past, and I enjoy being around kids of different ages. I lack experience with babies though, but I've cared for a toddler a fair bit before. It's tiring! Though I got to go home once the parents arrived back, so I only got a snapshot of what it's like to care for a toddler!

Best wishes,

SM

[Fairywings]

Hi gorgeous Deon is 3 and a half years old xx he also has autism yes it is very tiring 😃 little kids r full on. I have been seeing my psychiatrist for 16yrs now and I have also been medicated for just as long and going through what I did has only made me stronger than ever before xx thanks id like to think I'm doing well my little one is making wonderful progress slowly but surely xx always here for you xx Venessa

[Zeal]

Hi Venessa,

Aw, he's still so young! I've read and heard a fair bit about Autism - with early intervention children can overcome skill deficits and make positive progress. Thankfully more people (including researchers and educators) are now focusing on ways to improve the development and wellbeing of children on the spectrum. Slow but sure progress is great Venessa, and this progress happening early in his life will help greatly when he's older.

Best wishes,

SM

[Fairywings]

Yes early intervention is def the key we do various play groups during the week as well as speech and occupational therapy i started Deon with early intervention when he was just 18mth old. Had to also do physio bc he didn't walk until he was 2 and a half. All my hard work now will def pay off well it already is he has some words which is fabulous so cute to hear him say them lol he also does hip hop classes bc he loves his music my boy is def a little trippa 😅