Staying well

Creating a support network - what has worked for you?

replies: 3

I have realized lately that I have been dealing with depression and the reason is due to the fact that my support network has diminished. My friend went overseas and that was hard since our friendship was improving. Then there were issues with my par... View more

I have realized lately that I have been dealing with depression and the reason is due to the fact that my support network has diminished. My friend went overseas and that was hard since our friendship was improving. Then there were issues with my parents and I felt that my mum has pulled away as my emotional support as I feel I disappointed her. Now if I say I have depression she thinks its best if I deal with it on my own, I can't do that. I also can't live up to their expectations when I have limited support from them. As a bit if a turn around for me I have started to look for a positive support network and I am looking at how others may have managed this. Is it through doctors, friends, family? What has worked best? I am trying different activities to mingle with a variety of people and that does help. I am seeing my GP tomorrow and a therapist, also reaching out to Beyond Blue Any advice would be appreciated

Love Hugs and Kisses

replies: 33

Hi Everyone, I posted the following questions on the BB Café thread and received some insightful answers from people who both appreciate the sentiments and others who do not find these expressions helpful to themselves. There are no right or wrong an... View more

Hi Everyone, I posted the following questions on the BB Café thread and received some insightful answers from people who both appreciate the sentiments and others who do not find these expressions helpful to themselves. There are no right or wrong answers to my questions, they are just questions to reveal how people feel. These are basically the questions I asked: I would just like to know what it means to you to read that people are sending you love, hugs, kisses and other best wishes. How comforting, appreciated and special is it to receive these comments? Do these comments make a difference to how you are feeling and thinking? For me personally, I find them to be heart warming, to know that people care enough to share their well meaning with others. Some people may find these sentiments flippant and to not mean anything, so I would like to know your responses. Remember there are no right or wrong answers, just your own opinion. I'm posting this in the STAYING WELL section, as the comfort and encouragement some people may receive from these comments and sentiments may be just what that individual requires right now. Thanks all from Mrs. Dools

Gratitude Journal

replies: 5

I started doing a gratitude journal at the start of the month, and I was just interested if anyone else has one and how they approach it? At the end of the day, I try to write one thing I am grateful for that has happened or specifically caught my at... View more

I started doing a gratitude journal at the start of the month, and I was just interested if anyone else has one and how they approach it? At the end of the day, I try to write one thing I am grateful for that has happened or specifically caught my attention that day. I understand some people might write 3 things or 5 things every day but I struggle somedays to come up with one. Is that weird? I want to find something different everyday, and I kind of want to avoid really broad general things like being grateful for food on the table, or a bed to sleep in (unless perhaps I've just had a really full on day and a good nights sleep is exactly what I need.) Do other people put these kinds of things in their gratitude journals?

The depth of darkness to the heights of glory

replies: 4

Dear everyone, It has been a very long arduous road. I find it hard to remember a day in the past when I was happy, or simply joyous and content. Many unfortunate events happened in my life the past few years and sometimes I find it hard to different... View more

Dear everyone, It has been a very long arduous road. I find it hard to remember a day in the past when I was happy, or simply joyous and content. Many unfortunate events happened in my life the past few years and sometimes I find it hard to differentiate whether the depression was caused by the tragedies or simply compounded by it. For most of my life I pride myself as being unnaturally strong. I survived a very traumatic childhood, defy all ridiculous conventions set upon me, left home as a teenager and achieved a lot of things in life including academic, athletics, world travel and was able to retire financially before I turned 40 years old. Yet the cruel irony was, with my potent survival instincts I seemed to be a hopeless judge of people and had invited too many toxic scumbags into my life. Nearly everyone I had loved, including my own parents and only sibling had betrayed my trust and faith and in my time of need no one stayed around. I broke. Really badly, many times. All this time, when all around can fail me, I can always rely on me, I had never seen me fail myself this bad. There were no safety net, no family and no friends to help. The number of times I had cried myself to oblivion, the number of days I lock myself in my beautiful house never uttering a word with anyone; the number of days not having a friend to share a meal with. I had lost count. The words that got me through this ordeal: "The depth of darkness to which you can descend and still live is an exact measure of the height to which you can aspire to reach." (-Pliny the Elder). Every night before I sleep I was glad to survive the day. Every morning I wake I tried to do something useful whilst I'm alive. I reckon, as long as I am not dead, the reason for my existence may one day be known to me. I found a great psychologist whom reached into the root of my problems and helped me resolve them. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is still difficult; I lapse into bad moment every once in a while. I have to keep reminding myself to be patient. I am taming the beast and rebuilding my mind. It does not happen overnight. I am kinder, gentler to myself now. I am trying very hard to trust people again. Anyways, I kind of just wanted to say this to the void. I am looking forward to the day I am strong and whole again, because I miss that formiable person whom I hope will scale some stupendous heights one day.

Exercise

replies: 2

Hi, guys this is my first post and after reading many posts, there's are so many situations, suggestions and self experiences to draw from. Several years ago I suffered a number of mental and physical issues. I was reading a local paper and found a t... View more

Hi, guys this is my first post and after reading many posts, there's are so many situations, suggestions and self experiences to draw from. Several years ago I suffered a number of mental and physical issues. I was reading a local paper and found a team that offered FREE BOOTCAMP. I was sceptical , scared of judgement , lacked motivation and kept finding myself thinking what if. One day I swallowed my pride, got into the car , drove to Parramatta and meet this fantastic group of people. We shared our stories many a lot worse off than me , spent the next 1hr having a laugh and doing a little exercise. Best part was no commitment, no cost and no excuses.. I Continue to find life difficult at times, but now have this group of friends I feel rely on me to turn up, put in and share our stories.. Truly life changing if I can help anyone this might appeal to just drop me a note.. Thanks

DEPRESSION- IS THERE ANY POSITIVE?

replies: 11

I've mentioned in some of my posts (I'm a newbie) about how I believe there is, in nearly everything we do and experience, something positive out of a negative. I have depression among my other issues of bipolar 2, dysthymia and anxiety. When in a de... View more

I've mentioned in some of my posts (I'm a newbie) about how I believe there is, in nearly everything we do and experience, something positive out of a negative. I have depression among my other issues of bipolar 2, dysthymia and anxiety. When in a depressive state often sufferers think there is nothing they can do about it except 'wait it out'. That is so true. We feel helpless. Friends and family feel even more helpless and powerless. What I find amazing however is the long list of people in show business and other unusual occupations that have/had depression or other mental illness. Here is a short list- Buzz Aldrin, Woody Allen, Alec Baldwin, Jon Bon Jovi, Jim Carey (classic ADHD etc), Agatha Christie, Winston Churchill, Eric Clapton, Sheryl Crow, Jonny Depp, John Denver, Diana Princess of Wales, Bob Dylan, Harrison Ford, Angelina Jolie, John Lennon, Abraham Lincoln, Marilyn Monroe, Marie Osborne, Dolly Parton, Brad Pitt, Jessica Rowe, J.K.Rowling, Vincent Van Gough, Robbie Williams, Brian Wilson, Oprah Winfrey, Kurt Cobain, Patty Duke, Stephen Fry, Mel Gibson, etc That list is a small number of those listed on wiki. Clever talented people that all have extreme ability. Is it just possible that YOU have some form of ability that is unique to you? Just like these people? For me I found it in 1994 in the form of poetry. And here's my point- If I had not had the extreme emotion I possess....I would not have written any of my 250 poems I've written. Most of my poetry is highly emotional, can make people cry, can sooth those that have lost a loved one by 'connecting' with the emotions of the one that grieves. This seemed a small progress in my character at the time for I wasnt diagnosed until 2003 9 years later. So initially I brushed it off as 'just becoming a poet'. But it was soooo much more than that. Firstly it was a way of discovering my inner thoughts, creativity and emotions. Secondly it was a tool of self therapy and thirdly it immersed me into a world of my choosing away from all other distractions. For every poem I've kept in my folders I've thrown away 10 or so that were not up to standard. Daily I pick up a pen when a good or bad thought enters my mind and I start writing. As sufferers of mental illness you might already have your specialised hobby, talent. If not then consider searching for it. You are unique, there is nobody on this earth the same as YOU. The nearest is if you are a twin. Even then YOU are YOU. You are beautiful, there is only one.....of you. My wife is finishing off a scarf. She has already made a beanie and mittens. We are to drop them off to her mothers as a late mothers day gift on Wednesday...2 days time. They are unique, they are full of love, they are INVALUABLE! PRICELESS! They are so much more that knitted wool. We battle depression and its a struggle. We can also try to help ourselves with altering our state of mind even minutely. Finding your own talent might help. Good luck

Anger, can you own it?

replies: 4

Some lucky people never get angry. But they might possess faults elsewhere they need to tackle. My in-laws in my first marriage were the quiet types, very quiet. I was loud, talkative and saw communication as essential when in the presence of others…... View more

Some lucky people never get angry. But they might possess faults elsewhere they need to tackle. My in-laws in my first marriage were the quiet types, very quiet. I was loud, talkative and saw communication as essential when in the presence of others…they would sit there and say nothing. As time went on nicknames like “trumpethead” emerged to describe me. It resulted in – anger! But where did this anger lead? Nowhere. For you can have all the anger in the world but you cannot implement tactics to counter the attacks that would ease the anger. Eg revenge it. Counter it. Make things equal...unless you can out wit them. Ever opened a letter from a service provider and you start to sweat then it reads you were incorrectly billed and you are to receive a credit? That letter becomes a “good letter” after being a nerve racking bad letter. It favoured you. When things favour us we don't get angry. It goes our way. Anger can be the result of being cornered. Anger can be reduced but unlikely to be eradicated from you. This is due to your personality, your automatic means to cope with situations. But anger in itself isn’t the problem. Anger is the spark, the reaction….what comes after anger, what anger leads to is the problem for anger being an automatic response is and should be ok…it’s the rage, the yelling, the abuse, assaults, the revengeful actions…what downloads from anger that we should address if anger is present. Above all else its your response, no one elses. So feel free to own it, to take responsibility for it to be yours. After all its ok to be angry right? As long as it doesn’t lead to yelling, physical assault or other reaction that is offensive. So summing up. Its ok to feel anger. Don’t be ashamed of having anger if someone criticises you for it, or any other natural feeling. As long as you own it and you leave it at that. Allow time and solitude for the anger to subside to avoid the download that could ruin your life. Take a walk, ask to be left alone for a time, change your environment...do what you know can give you the best chance to recover. Vent to a friend? Vent on paper. Anger is ok but not what it leads to. Tony WK Tony WK

Accepting the past and moving on

replies: 5

Hi Everyone. Hi all. I am just over 50 and have decided now is the time to let go of the stuff of my past that has hindered me, and to try to move on through my depression, stress and other issues that have held me back. Thankfully a new medication i... View more

Hi Everyone. Hi all. I am just over 50 and have decided now is the time to let go of the stuff of my past that has hindered me, and to try to move on through my depression, stress and other issues that have held me back. Thankfully a new medication is helping me to do just that. I had a light bulb moment this morning where I realised the last medication I was on, helped for a while, but over time had become inadequate. I am going to try and start to live like this is the "First Day of the Rest of my Life" like a song mentions. No time like now to make that start. How about you? Are you ready to make that decision? How am I going to achieve this? I'm not really sure yet...Ha. Ha. I just know I want it to happen. One thing I have done is to become more assertive and let other's know I am going to begin sticking up for my rights. I will do this in a positive, non aggressive manner. I'd like to hear other people's ideas.

Learning to be positive- suggestions / comments welcome

replies: 4

I had a session with my psychiatrist on Wed and felt it would be good to put some of my thoughts in writing. Doing it on this forem I hoped would allow others to comment and help me gain more benefit and hopefully benefit other readers. I was apprehe... View more

I had a session with my psychiatrist on Wed and felt it would be good to put some of my thoughts in writing. Doing it on this forem I hoped would allow others to comment and help me gain more benefit and hopefully benefit other readers. I was apprehensive about the session as I had had some challenges since my last session and I was still unsure if he really understood me. It was a good session and I thought I would list the positives in this thread: He has accepted that it is my choice not to take antidepressants and accepted my reasons. This takes pressure off me as I don't have to keep explaining and I know I am justified in my decision. He gave me very clear guidance in when to take sleeping tablets. Sleep is a big issue for me and lack of sleep really impacts on my depression. I will use sleeping tablets when required to prevent me going more than 2 nights in a row without sleeping properly. I will use anti anxiety medication when anxiety levels escalate due to PTSD triggers or other stresses to calm down enough to then use other techniques effectively. (I don't like taking drugs so there is no risk for me of overusing them) After discussion I was able to tell the psychiatrist what the most crucial issue was and he reassured me that we can address this issue. . I am unsure how he can change things but it was a relief to know he understood that this is the most important issue. My homework is to write down the positives that have occurred due to the bad things that happened when I was child. After talking about all the negatives which have happened in my life in sessions being forced to come up with positive outcomes was hard but after coming up with a couple of ideas in the session it took away some of the pain and negativity away. That night I was able to elaborate further on those positives. Examples of positives include learning to manage money because we had little. This has made it easier to manage financially as an adult. Working hard at school (my way of coping with all the negative feelings) enabled me to succeed academically. On return home I was able to tell my husband what had been discussed with the psych and asked him to encourage me to carry out the homework. This is a huge step as I am embarrassed about needing help and avoid talking about it. The discussion provoked significant level of anxiety but I did it and my husband listened and was supportive I recommited to my goal of swimming at a lake nearby each week.

The relationship between physical and emotional (mental health) symptoms and managing both.

replies: 2

I have noticed a direct correlation between physical symptoms and feeling depressed or anxious. For example when tired or exhausted I become more depressed. When physically well it is easier to be physically active and productive and therefore feel b... View more

I have noticed a direct correlation between physical symptoms and feeling depressed or anxious. For example when tired or exhausted I become more depressed. When physically well it is easier to be physically active and productive and therefore feel better/ less depressed. Also when I am stressed I become anxious and depressed but this leads to physical problems. I have a history of temporomandibular joint dysfunction which causes severe pain in the jaw and difficulty eating and is exacerbated by me clenching my jaw when feeling stressed. This leads to lack of sleep due to pain and then more depression. Recently after speaking to my psychologist I set some new goals which are designed to improve my physical health as well as mental health. One of my short term goals was to paint my bedroom (something on my to do list for many months) so I would feel I had achieved something productive and feel good about myself. I tried to be sensible and keep the job manageable by not doing extra things like the floors or the ensuite. (I have a history of attempting too much and either failing (& feeling bad) or making myself sick through exhaustion.) Unfortunately I deliberately ignored the fact I was already very tired due to multiple stresses over the last year and particularly the last few weeks which meant I had little sleep. Preparing the room to paint was harder than expected and meant I was pushing myself each day to stick to the schedule I had set. I developed a very sore mouth, tongue & throat which caused so much pain I couldn't sleep or eat properly. I pushed on assuming the problem was caused by stress/ anxiety so there was nothing to be done. I eventually went to the GP after I have nearly finished the painting and was prescribed antibiotics for an infection. I now feel guilty for causing the infection through not listening to my body and pushing it so I had no resistance to infections. It also stops me achieving one of the important goals set with my therapist to swim in the lake each week as I can't afford to make the infection worse. Swimming in the lake was an important goal as it is something I used to enjoy but stopped doing because my husband wouldn't/couldn't go swimming. I need to start doing things on my own so I can cope as my husband becomes more & more disabled and needs increasing level of care. Also going to the lake means being in a bush environment and in the sun so it is important part of exposure therapy re PTSD related to bushfires.

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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