Want to be a hermit?

[white knight]

I suspect not many members will read this thread. Reason being, even people with mental illness commonly maintain their regular contact with others.. .including me.

However, all my life when depression hits ive been tempted to withdraw fully from people...with the exception of my close family members.Why?

Sensitivity plays a huge part. Without it a thick skin would shield me against those that hurt. Ok, thats my reason for me being tempted to become a recluse so what stopped me?

After a few attempts to run away from humans i realised that it wasnt practical even though l was desperate . I still needed health care so a current medicare card (nowadays), supplies for hygiene, utensils, tools, even hair cutting implements..and if something breaks? What about shelter?

I'd suspect these are the reasons hermits are homeless in cities where they can access services.

So if you have a burning desire to withdraw from society, what is an alternative?

A comfort safe zone might be your answer.

Firstly as people with mental illness we should not feel guilty for not contributing towards society. We are often only capable of focussing on our own survival.

Find an environment that suits you in housing you can afford. Many of us cant afford much. Consider a caravan...if you are single you are mobile and can park it in someones back yard for low rent..or be a drifter of caravan parks with some roadside or free camping.

The concept should be to maintain just enough contact with society to enable you to reap the benefits of it. I call it "swanning". I swan into town for my supplies, have a coffee at our fav cafe if it isnt busy and im feeling well, then swan out.

Over time you will perfect the regulation needed of home and away from home to remain in your best possible mental health.

A friend of mine a single guy with ptsd rents a cottage in our small town (pop 200). He drives a hiace campervan. His rent is very low here and he can tour around as he likes. He has many friends in Melbourne so when he wants he drives down, stays overnight then leaves the next day. He swans in and swans out.

If you are so depressed and can no longer tolerate people for whatever reason, resist the feelings of total withdrawal

In 1983 l expressed to my GP my need to live in the bush alone and with no contact. He said "you'll last about 3 months then you will be very unwell".

If you have just survived society, take care of yourself and find a safe place on society's fringe.

Tony WK

[Nomies]

Thank you White Knight, the worry worry worry thread was a good read, I will try and reduce "worrying" about what everyone else thinks I should be doing, they aren't in my shoes to truly know how dpression affects me pyshically. I WILL do what I need to do.

[white knight]

Great Nomies,

Remember...you are in tis world for happiness, not fulfilling others expectations.

Debzmite

I hear you

I'm on DSP also and some days I truly believe I can work. Two days later I know I Cant.

If you can find a work at home job whereby its at your own pace ok. Otherwise simply care for yourself and cherish the things in life for free. Google Youtube maharaji sunset

Tony WK

[Nomies]

White Knight you seem to know exactly how to say what others can't express.

I feel so overwhelmed when I think about trying to go back to work, people just don't understand it when I say that because they tell me I am so good at my job. I might be good at my job but they have no comprehension of the mental/physical toll it takes on me, I just don't think its worth it.

Nomies

[white knight]

Hi Nomies, glad I can help

A small but still significant part of us surviving in this life is a positive mind. I'm so lucky my switch from a negative thinker tp positive occured in 1982. Google

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

It helps a lot because it allows you to rebound better from problems. But being a positive person doesnt save you from mental illness, it wont overcome it. It didnt stop my suicidal plan in 1996, nor numerous lows.

What is does do is spur you on internally. It helps to see positivrs in everything

Topic: DEPRESSION, is there any positive?- beyondblue

Who would think there is a benefit in having depression?

When it comes to employment, one has to have a goal or goals to feel like you are working for a reason. If you are merely surviving then work will be arduous.

With other peoples perception of you not working, they have no idea of what they are saying.

Google

Topic: they just wont understand, why?- beyondblue

Perhaps we are "wired" to think everything will go well in life?

Topic: do we expect a smooth road in life?- beyondblue

Are we scared about anything? Survival maybe, other humans? Challenges? What about dealing with Centrelink? These things can be cruel to us. We have to not only overcome them we are better iff accepting these challenges than fighting them

Topic: the positives of fear- beyondblue

If I was in the infancy of my illness I would read a minimum of three bb threads a night. Thete is a mountain of wisfom in that resource.

Thanks for listening.

Tony WK

[Misanthropical]

Great read everyone, it seems that this is where I have started today and signed up shortly thereafter... whilst I consider that being a hermit would be impossible to some point, it is exactly how I feel right now.

In a never ending spiral of disappointment and misery, I am sick of this world that we inhabit, the rising cost of living, the uneasy sensation of there being no point in being sociable or even liked by anyone.

I go to work and return wanting to be left alone with myself, locking the door and closing the blinds to be left alone. Even putting out the washing is something that seems to be a task of little or no value, I end up getting annoyed because the neighbour has a pot belly heater in his back shed and my yard and even inside, smells of smoke. I want to tell him and his wife but I do not want to makes things difficult, I know his flue needs to be taller but would this even fix it.

Strangely, not discussing this and having my say is not like me and normally I do not really care about what I say to others and only try to moderate how I say it. My disappointment grows to anger and I do not suffer fools. I have no interest in maintaining a relationship and prefer to be alone until my thoughts take over. Sometimes I think it is the fault of others that makes me this way but I look around and see that it must be all my doing.

Living here for near on a year, everyone waves or nods but their lives, just like mine appear to be just way to busy to not be the frantic mouse on the wheel, on a rising tide beside the water.

I do have an interesting hobby but struggle with finding time, effort, money or at the very least the motivation to go and enjoy it.

Work consumes me and then paying the bills takes up all most of my cash, the mobile phone use and social media appears to make matters worse and I see myself spending time just staring at a screen, reading what others do, perhaps wondering if their lives are actually that much different to mine or not.

In all reality, I use Social Media it to keep in touch with people that I have known and liked in the past but like face to face relationships, life gets in the way and people just seem to be too involved in their own lives to notice anyone else.

To use a well known phrase... who actually listens to the reply when they ask "R u ok?"

I want out, not to hurt myself but I do want this roundabout to stop spinning and to let me off. I have turned off my mobile in preparation.

[Misanthropical]

A week and no reply, well ok.

Suppose I didn't really ask any questions as such but I thought someone may offer an opinion, insight or reflection.

[Birdy77]

Hello Misanthropical,

I have just read your post from a week ago, and could relate to a lot of what you wrote.

Sometimes on the forums, posts can go a little under the radar if they are placed in old threads ... the caring people here will always be on the lookout for a new member and reply as soon as possible but as you've put your first posts in an older thread, and the creator of this thread is not currently active on the forums, so your "newness" has gone unnoticed.

I'm really sorry this happened.

Would you be interested in starting your own thread and talking there about your feelings and experiences?

If not, that's ok.

I have hermitised myself to a certain extent as well. I don't use social media at all, and have really pruned my friendships down to a few.

I will not say too much more nkw, and will actually post this now as i am wanting you to know that your post has been read and replied to, and to encourage you to stay with us.

If you come back, I would be happy to talk more with you, and I will also keep an eye out to see if you start a new thread.

Welcome here Misanthropical 😊

[jigglypuff99]

I was really glad i found this thread today... everything said resonated with me the lifestyle appeals to me. i currently have a small cheap dwelling in the outer suburbs, have no social life or support network.. i really have struggled with anxiety and depression recently. i can live with my deficiencies but my biggest problem now is i cant deal with is not being able to pay the bills.. even if you live in a caravan you need some income... i have no income. i've had something like 20 jobs over the last 3 years and always end up leaving because i cant handle the social component of the job. my partner earns too much for me to collect centerlink.. i dont want to end up collecting cans but it looks like the direction i am heading in... i guess i could live with a job 1 day a week.. doing something quiet but not many jobs fit this description.. any advice would be great.. help

[white knight]

Hi JP, welcome

The way I see it is you have a few problems.

If you have a partner amd his/her income is too high for you to receive Centrelink, imo, his income is your income also. I cant see why it wouldnt be as living together is to assist each other in times of unemployment and difficulty.

Can your partners employment allow you both to move?

When I was unemployed in 1992, I lived in a country town of 1000 people. I walked every house to ask if they wanted their lawns mowed. I returned home. Wife asked how I went. "Not one person wanted their lawns mowed"...."well, she said, thats the end of that idea"

"Nope, I'll drop flyers in letterboxes next week". I did and got 12 enquiries. Within 6 months I could buy a new ride on mower.

Never give up.

Google

Beyondblue Topic 30 minutes can change your life

Repost anytime.

Regards TonyWK

[BeyondDepression]

It's been a long time since I was here, but funnily enough I was looking this same subject up and up popped beyond blue.

The reason why I haven't been here is simply that I haven't had an episode of any depression in four years (what I say below may make you think otherwise though lol)

I am in the same boat as many of you. When I had depression I wanted to escape and would also look for long walks or rides to "escape reality" (as I saw it).

For the past four years though I have been really good, life has always been good to me apart from depression and anxiety. But one thing that remains. My need to escape. But now I believe it is not as much to "escape reality" as it is to find myself.

I feel lost. I feel like I do not belong - even now.

I would love to be a hermit, but know that this would be a real deprivation for me. I don't think we are built anymore to be as "hardy" as we were as little as a hundred years ago. Anyway I digress 🙂

So I am doing it. Not perhaps full hermit, but I am trusting my fate to my intuition. Even in the time of COVID. I think I am being driven to find out one way or another.I am typically one of those people that need to find out for myself rather than hear it from the mouths of others.

I've almost sold up everything I own. My sister will pack away a few things that I will need on my return - as I will return. I am heading off for a year cycle touring to either other states (if things work out) or within our own great state (SA). What do I plan on doing? Look inside. I spent much of my whole life avoiding looking into the chasm of my mind. I now feel I need to know myself better, catch up on all those years. Learn to become a little more philisophical. Perhaps find myself lucky to find the meaning of MY life?

I might fail, I might succeed. Who knows, but I will try! I will try and keep on trying. It's not for everyone, but I FEEL it is for me. So I need to do it. Worst time for doing it .. yes, but there is no time like the present (well three months from now! :))