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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Sarahc123 Crying at work
  • replies: 4

I had an episode today where a slight inconvenience made me cry to the point I could no longer do my job. I was also getting overly emotional about little things and was unable to let things go. I need help! It could affect my job and my ability to p... View more

I had an episode today where a slight inconvenience made me cry to the point I could no longer do my job. I was also getting overly emotional about little things and was unable to let things go. I need help! It could affect my job and my ability to perform. As well as being embarrassing. Help!!? How can I stop the crying when something happens that either causes me stress or that I am not happy with??

Guest7890 I have been having trouble being motivated and getting out of bed in the morning
  • replies: 10

For a while now I have been on holidays from my university course and have been working full time hours for the last 4 weeks. I’m going through a stage where I won’t get out of bed till 11am or 12pm and then won’t do much all day till work around 4pm... View more

For a while now I have been on holidays from my university course and have been working full time hours for the last 4 weeks. I’m going through a stage where I won’t get out of bed till 11am or 12pm and then won’t do much all day till work around 4pm. Because of my job I often finish at 12:30am in the morning which makes waking up early challenging for me. Apart from being tired however, when I do happen to wake up at a reasonable time, (8am or 9am) I end up falling back asleep as I have no motivation to get up and do anything. Even though I am no longer tired I feel like there is nothing that makes me want to get out of bed, its not a concious decision rather something I just do without thinking. Its very hard to convince my mind that I should get up unless I have something I have to do at a specific time that early. In the afternoon before work I don’t have any desire to do anything and sometimes even find myself content staring out into space than actually doing anything. I just generally feel lazy, unmotivated and distent/down. I feel bad being like this with my boyfriend because I know he cares for me and I don’t want to appear lazy or unreliable to him. I really hate myself that I have been unable to complete tasks I said I would do, and I don’t know how to get through this to feel better and want to do things. I worry about my future and my course as corona virus has impacted my course greatly turning it online which it seems it will stay for the rest of the year. How can I change my mindset around and wake up with motivation again?

16sundayz Weighted Blankets
  • replies: 9

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this in but here goes. After hearing about weighted blankets being comforting for people with autism, I wondered if they would give the same comfort for those suffering with anxiety? Does anyone u... View more

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this in but here goes. After hearing about weighted blankets being comforting for people with autism, I wondered if they would give the same comfort for those suffering with anxiety? Does anyone use one? I can't seem to find anywhere in Australia that makes or even sells them. If you have one, could you please let me know how much it cost and where you go it from? Thanks

contrarymary Getting a good nights sleep
  • replies: 4

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sle... View more

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sleep, have tried getting up and making tea or reading. usually I end up lying awake for hours clock watching and then fall asleep again. i am a type 2 diabetic and 65 spoke to GP says it's because I am getting older so need less sleep but it's now impacting on my life. have tried going to bed later did not make much difference and because I lie awake I get agitated because I can't sleep anyone with similar issue and what have they found helps

white knight Switching mindsets
  • replies: 42

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call i... View more

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call it, but I guess its my drive for the end result. Example. I've purchased paint and brushes to paint our house. I'm watching TV. its ideal weather but I cant be bothered starting the paint project. As soon as I say to myself "I cant be bothered painting today"...I immediately do the opposite!! I rise off the chair and withing 4-5 minutes I have paint on a wall. Once that occurs, I feel better than sitting on the chair so the mental effort of doing something I dont want to do only lasts 4 minutes. The enjoyment is direct progress (paint on the wall) followed by a great feeling a wall is completed. However if I drove myself to paint one coat on the whole house with a second coat needed, it would be too long before I'd feel any sense of achievement. Hence two coats on one wall first. Stand back and admire. By the time one coat on one wall is finished a second coat can be applied. You can see why mentally it becomes a snowball effect. Once finished I pack the paint away. Then a while later I noticed a small wooden fence hasnt been painted..."oh, I forgot that...I'll do it another time"...bang! Its a negative thought, I'll do it now! The switch effect is used automatically again. Simply not allowing my own mindset of the "easy road" to take hold. Professional athletes do this. A swimmer swims 100 laps of a pool, as he/she is on that last lap, switch effect means "I'll do an extra 10 laps now". There is one proviso, one potential problem, those extra baby steps can over extend you, cause more tiredness and be counter productive. Take breaks. On building sites for example you'll never have tradespersons work all day without breaks. The reason is they would work less effectively with less quantity and quality of work at the end of the day. So try the switch effect, a total u-turn with tasks. Take rest periods always aware of using the switch effect regularly. The "switch effect"isnt easy, its a learned thing...a thing that shines with habit. So expect yourself to be challenged...by yourself!. But it can be an great addition to the positive snowball you'll develop that can change your life around. Let me know if you do this already or if you have tried it. Tony WK

Not_Batman Guilt for being strong.
  • replies: 2

Just after some advice. ive spent the last couple of days feeling overcome with guilt. Backstory: My boss sort of belittled me in front of 6 other managers, saying that my project was Full of mistakes. However they only had 1 side of the story and no... View more

Just after some advice. ive spent the last couple of days feeling overcome with guilt. Backstory: My boss sort of belittled me in front of 6 other managers, saying that my project was Full of mistakes. However they only had 1 side of the story and none of the facts. when this happened, i became quite angered because it made me feel a little worthless. however, in the heat of the moment i did something i dont normally do...i stood up for myself, very vocally, giving all of the facts and the full story. after the event, and even a couple of days later im still obsessing over it, and feeling guilty for doing the right thing. for the most part i am coping with my anxiety and depression, but am finding it difficult to stop the guilt for being strong. How do i come to terms with the guilt? Not Batman.

ReeCar123 Self-soothing techniques and getting more secure
  • replies: 2

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We ... View more

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We separated (still getting along very well and both working on our past wounds) and since then, I feel I have achieved quite a lot in getting more aware, secure and I am better able to self-soothe to get myself out of ruminating. However, I am aware that I still have work to do, especially to manifest any good techniques that soothe the anxiety and counteract the unhelpful patterns. I am very keen to continue my work to raise myself to a more secure level based on my awareness, knowledge and learned new techniques. So I am very interested in understanding what other techniques there are that have helped you. For example, I read books like "The Happiness Trap" which employs ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). I like that and am trying to use the techniques from ACT. I have also built a stronger foundation for myself, so started new hobbies, applied for volunteering, etc. to build a good life for myself. All these things have helped me reach a new level and I have found myself speaking up for my own needs more - a thing I did not do well in the past due to fears of being rejected or abandoned. I can see the change and I really want to keep it going. What else can I try and become aware of so that I can become stronger and reduce the risk of losing myself again in the anxiety levels I used to have? I read my journals from a year ago when my relationship was extremely triggering. It was a huge eye opener and I never want to hand over so much control again. I want to stay on the good path now. Thank you in advance.

Doog The magic of reaching out
  • replies: 1

Hi, Ive posted only a few times in my troubled last 5 years. I found invisible friends in being able to talk on here briefly. I'm not a social person. I was resistant to counseling yet I spent wasted time sobbing relentlessly on my own and having pan... View more

Hi, Ive posted only a few times in my troubled last 5 years. I found invisible friends in being able to talk on here briefly. I'm not a social person. I was resistant to counseling yet I spent wasted time sobbing relentlessly on my own and having panic attacks. The magic as I call it, is in being able to vent to "invisible" people on this forum, but I knew I still needed help. Finding the right counselor is almost like finding the right friend. If you are like me and don't believe a counselor can help you, then please look again! You need to be able to "click" with that trusted person and suddenly you will find they "get YOU". The same thing happened to my adolescent son. He found someone at Headspace he finally opened up to! After 1 year. Please use the resources available to you in mental health. You can switch who you want to talk to. Like with GP's, some you love, some you don't. Dont compromise or delay your recovery because you don't feel comfortable like I did. I also found an incredible person at Primary Care Connect who guided me to where I am today. I was homeless when I had my first appointment. They helped me set goals. They ensure you have a trusted GP who is onboard. It was never how I imagined. Take a chance and discover what it feels like to be listened to please. For adolescents and adults alike, there is someone out there who "gets you". That feeling is also like magic, because you will find your way again. Thankyou Beyon Blue and everyone of my invisible friends

white knight Loneliness and being alone
  • replies: 1

I am fond of a Mr Bean skit. He attends a restaurant alone, then writes himself a birthday card and make believed he has company. Very funny, but sad. Loneliness is craving another’s company and I think most of us know that feeling. Being alone is no... View more

I am fond of a Mr Bean skit. He attends a restaurant alone, then writes himself a birthday card and make believed he has company. Very funny, but sad. Loneliness is craving another’s company and I think most of us know that feeling. Being alone is not the same. Some people prefer to be alone in fact some insist on it. In that case preferring to be alone is not an actual problem whereas being lonely is. In fact some poor souls are lonely even amongst a crowd. Lets look at the benefits of good company. Good company results in a flowing exchange of conversation which often leads to things like compliments, understanding and comfort. The mere sharing of events or feelings with people that are willing to listen is beneficial. Of course this social interaction comes with risk, rejection, criticism or mere harsh judgement not aired. We can easily slip back into a solitude lifestyle into a safety zone. Then loneliness begins. What is the answer to this dilemma? In my experience I would have to highlight a strong point here- that once rejected we are better off continuing to meet up with more people, the more we meet the more chance you’ll find compatibility and increase your chances of reliable company. For some, shutting yourself away seems like a “no one can hurt me now” policy without risk. But it can be destructive on your own mental well being. That isn’t caring for yourself in terms of well being. It isn’t healthy. Forcing yourself to socialise also isn’t ideal. Wearing a mask is tiresome. But bare minimal daily contact is really all you need for good health. I have the answer to all of this- buy a very cute little dog. The world will come to you. Strangers will flock around your dog and dog lovers are usually loving people. And you’ll also have a best friend and won’t be alone TonyWK

SapereAude Triple M's No Talk Day - Wednesday 1 July
  • replies: 2

Well done to Triple M and Beyond Blue on this fantastic initiative. I hope this benefits not just men but their families, friends and workplaces too. Triple M's No Talk Day On Wednesday 1 July, Triple M isn't talking so that others can. From 6am – 6p... View more

Well done to Triple M and Beyond Blue on this fantastic initiative. I hope this benefits not just men but their families, friends and workplaces too. Triple M's No Talk Day On Wednesday 1 July, Triple M isn't talking so that others can. From 6am – 6pm there will be no radio shows, no ads, no news or traffic reports across Triple M stations. Instead, they are using the space where they'd normally talk to encourage men and women to talk to their mates, family or a colleague about mental health and work on reducing men’s suicide. Blokes make up an average six out of every eight suicides every single day in Australia. The number of men who die by suicide in Australia every year is nearly double the national road toll. Men are known for bottling things up and trying to go it alone, however this can increase the risk of depression or anxiety going unrecognised and untreated. Depression is a high risk factor for suicide, and plays a contributing role to the big difference in suicide rates for men and women. While it can be difficult to talk about suicide, research shows you can have a positive influence on someone who may be considering suicide by initiating a conversation with them and supporting them to seek support. You don’t need to be a clinician, a GP, or a nurse to check-in with someone you are worried about. It is OK to let someone know you have noticed they are struggling and ask them if they are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Advice on how to start a conversation with someone you’re worried about and looking after yourself can be found in the below links. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/no-talk-day