Immediate support
Immediate support

Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Start a discussion

ReeCar123 Self-soothing techniques and getting more secure
  • replies: 2

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We ... View more

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We separated (still getting along very well and both working on our past wounds) and since then, I feel I have achieved quite a lot in getting more aware, secure and I am better able to self-soothe to get myself out of ruminating. However, I am aware that I still have work to do, especially to manifest any good techniques that soothe the anxiety and counteract the unhelpful patterns. I am very keen to continue my work to raise myself to a more secure level based on my awareness, knowledge and learned new techniques. So I am very interested in understanding what other techniques there are that have helped you. For example, I read books like "The Happiness Trap" which employs ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). I like that and am trying to use the techniques from ACT. I have also built a stronger foundation for myself, so started new hobbies, applied for volunteering, etc. to build a good life for myself. All these things have helped me reach a new level and I have found myself speaking up for my own needs more - a thing I did not do well in the past due to fears of being rejected or abandoned. I can see the change and I really want to keep it going. What else can I try and become aware of so that I can become stronger and reduce the risk of losing myself again in the anxiety levels I used to have? I read my journals from a year ago when my relationship was extremely triggering. It was a huge eye opener and I never want to hand over so much control again. I want to stay on the good path now. Thank you in advance.

Doog The magic of reaching out
  • replies: 1

Hi, Ive posted only a few times in my troubled last 5 years. I found invisible friends in being able to talk on here briefly. I'm not a social person. I was resistant to counseling yet I spent wasted time sobbing relentlessly on my own and having pan... View more

Hi, Ive posted only a few times in my troubled last 5 years. I found invisible friends in being able to talk on here briefly. I'm not a social person. I was resistant to counseling yet I spent wasted time sobbing relentlessly on my own and having panic attacks. The magic as I call it, is in being able to vent to "invisible" people on this forum, but I knew I still needed help. Finding the right counselor is almost like finding the right friend. If you are like me and don't believe a counselor can help you, then please look again! You need to be able to "click" with that trusted person and suddenly you will find they "get YOU". The same thing happened to my adolescent son. He found someone at Headspace he finally opened up to! After 1 year. Please use the resources available to you in mental health. You can switch who you want to talk to. Like with GP's, some you love, some you don't. Dont compromise or delay your recovery because you don't feel comfortable like I did. I also found an incredible person at Primary Care Connect who guided me to where I am today. I was homeless when I had my first appointment. They helped me set goals. They ensure you have a trusted GP who is onboard. It was never how I imagined. Take a chance and discover what it feels like to be listened to please. For adolescents and adults alike, there is someone out there who "gets you". That feeling is also like magic, because you will find your way again. Thankyou Beyon Blue and everyone of my invisible friends

white knight Loneliness and being alone
  • replies: 1

I am fond of a Mr Bean skit. He attends a restaurant alone, then writes himself a birthday card and make believed he has company. Very funny, but sad. Loneliness is craving another’s company and I think most of us know that feeling. Being alone is no... View more

I am fond of a Mr Bean skit. He attends a restaurant alone, then writes himself a birthday card and make believed he has company. Very funny, but sad. Loneliness is craving another’s company and I think most of us know that feeling. Being alone is not the same. Some people prefer to be alone in fact some insist on it. In that case preferring to be alone is not an actual problem whereas being lonely is. In fact some poor souls are lonely even amongst a crowd. Lets look at the benefits of good company. Good company results in a flowing exchange of conversation which often leads to things like compliments, understanding and comfort. The mere sharing of events or feelings with people that are willing to listen is beneficial. Of course this social interaction comes with risk, rejection, criticism or mere harsh judgement not aired. We can easily slip back into a solitude lifestyle into a safety zone. Then loneliness begins. What is the answer to this dilemma? In my experience I would have to highlight a strong point here- that once rejected we are better off continuing to meet up with more people, the more we meet the more chance you’ll find compatibility and increase your chances of reliable company. For some, shutting yourself away seems like a “no one can hurt me now” policy without risk. But it can be destructive on your own mental well being. That isn’t caring for yourself in terms of well being. It isn’t healthy. Forcing yourself to socialise also isn’t ideal. Wearing a mask is tiresome. But bare minimal daily contact is really all you need for good health. I have the answer to all of this- buy a very cute little dog. The world will come to you. Strangers will flock around your dog and dog lovers are usually loving people. And you’ll also have a best friend and won’t be alone TonyWK

SapereAude Triple M's No Talk Day - Wednesday 1 July
  • replies: 2

Well done to Triple M and Beyond Blue on this fantastic initiative. I hope this benefits not just men but their families, friends and workplaces too. Triple M's No Talk Day On Wednesday 1 July, Triple M isn't talking so that others can. From 6am – 6p... View more

Well done to Triple M and Beyond Blue on this fantastic initiative. I hope this benefits not just men but their families, friends and workplaces too. Triple M's No Talk Day On Wednesday 1 July, Triple M isn't talking so that others can. From 6am – 6pm there will be no radio shows, no ads, no news or traffic reports across Triple M stations. Instead, they are using the space where they'd normally talk to encourage men and women to talk to their mates, family or a colleague about mental health and work on reducing men’s suicide. Blokes make up an average six out of every eight suicides every single day in Australia. The number of men who die by suicide in Australia every year is nearly double the national road toll. Men are known for bottling things up and trying to go it alone, however this can increase the risk of depression or anxiety going unrecognised and untreated. Depression is a high risk factor for suicide, and plays a contributing role to the big difference in suicide rates for men and women. While it can be difficult to talk about suicide, research shows you can have a positive influence on someone who may be considering suicide by initiating a conversation with them and supporting them to seek support. You don’t need to be a clinician, a GP, or a nurse to check-in with someone you are worried about. It is OK to let someone know you have noticed they are struggling and ask them if they are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Advice on how to start a conversation with someone you’re worried about and looking after yourself can be found in the below links. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/no-talk-day

Nanabanana Thank you
  • replies: 3

I don't know if I'm posting the right forum but, Eight weeks ago, I was very stressed, depressed, and anxious then I stepped into this website and had talked to one of the staff. She gave me an empowering of willing to fight and keep going then after... View more

I don't know if I'm posting the right forum but, Eight weeks ago, I was very stressed, depressed, and anxious then I stepped into this website and had talked to one of the staff. She gave me an empowering of willing to fight and keep going then after that I decided to see a psychologist. Now I'm in the 5th session and still working on it. Thank you beyondblue. Take care everyone

Haggisinoz Life Coaching
  • replies: 4

Afternoon everyone, I hope everyone is safe and well. I wanted to share a recent experience which really helped me personally and I also think anyone can benefit from this no matter where you are in life or what struggles you are experiencing. One of... View more

Afternoon everyone, I hope everyone is safe and well. I wanted to share a recent experience which really helped me personally and I also think anyone can benefit from this no matter where you are in life or what struggles you are experiencing. One of my close friend recently started her own life coaching business and although I was very supportive of this I have always questioned the value of Life Coaching and if this was just all a bit too fluffy to be of value. Personally I have always felt like I was lacking some direction in life and sometimes questioned what I was trying to achieve. Personally for myself I think this probably comes from not having a solid family foundation and always having felt an underlying struggle to find my path in life. I made the decision to start coaching because I knew in myself I was starting to feel a bit lost in life in general and I needed some structure. I can honestly say that this was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I soon realised that the process was very clear and ultimately was directed by myself. My two goals were to work on my career and securing a role in the Community Services sector having worked in financial services for the past 20yrs. I also wanted to focus on myself and building my own self confidence. Having now finished the process I have taken the first steps in changing career having commenced my studies in Mental Health and the process has increased my own self confidence and general life direction which has been so valuable for me. I can only speak for myself but I think that in life it's rally common to feel lost sometimes and we can forget who we are and what we are trying to achieve. This process helped me work on my own personal goals and to really break down whats important to me in life and to make them a reality. I would recommend life coaching to anyone who needs some support and structure but I know that this can also be an expensive excercise. Another option is to set some simple life goals which is a great first step to steering your life in the right direction. I think the most important thing is to make yourself accountable become otherwise it's just not going to be of value. Taking some simple steps like this can have a significant impact in your life, it did for me! Take care (;

Aaronsis Your tail lights aren't working!
  • replies: 3

A dear friend asked me yesterday: "If you took your car to be serviced and when leaving your friends house, your friend noticed your tail lights were not working, would you want them to tell you?" My response was "yes, yes I would"....... He told me ... View more

A dear friend asked me yesterday: "If you took your car to be serviced and when leaving your friends house, your friend noticed your tail lights were not working, would you want them to tell you?" My response was "yes, yes I would"....... He told me "I want to let you know your tail lights are not working!".....confusion..then the penny dropped!!! This lead to a conversation about how I am and also am not taking care of me....which lead me to post this and remind us all of looking out for our friends, and letting them know that they may need to STOP...take a breathe..and regroup...to let our friends know in the nicest possible way "your tail lights are not working!" I had some time to reflect yesterday...there were tears and there was some time that I took for me, which I have not been doing lately....time to do nothing...time to make some choices and to make some commitments to myself to take better care of me.... I am a mother, an employee, a manager, a mother to three cats, a BB Community Champ, a sister, a best friend, a daughter, a granddaughter and I need to be around to fill these roles, I need to be well and to be happy, I want to be well and happy. I have woken up today with a whole new feeling of happiness and of feeling content. So please, if you see your friend who's tail lights might be broken or even just flashing, please reach out...it might just be the gentle nudge they need before the lights not working turns into a car accident! Thank you my friend! I am extremely grateful! Hugs Sarah

iitzMickle My struggles and what help me beat them.
  • replies: 2

Hey all, new to here so might not be the best structured post but wanted to a share a little about my life struggles and some things that helped me overcome them so here goes: When I was growing up I moved back to Australia when I was about 12 to liv... View more

Hey all, new to here so might not be the best structured post but wanted to a share a little about my life struggles and some things that helped me overcome them so here goes: When I was growing up I moved back to Australia when I was about 12 to live with my dad. His girlfriend at the time was pretty horrible to me and would say things such as”No wonder your mother didn’t want you” and other stuff that no child should have to endure. It was fairly consistent and fairly brutal and it got to the point where I ended up pulling the pin out of my door handle on my room and spending most of my time locked in my room away from her basically in solitude or I would go over to my next door neighbours house and stay with them sometimes overnight etc. Eventually when I was 14 I moved in with my sister and her partner everything was good for a while but eventually I saw the dark side of him(I had seen it when visiting before but not to this extent) he became physically and verbal abusive towards her in front of me and my niece who was only a toddler at the time. I lived with this for about 2-3 years also copping some physical and verbal abuse from him myself in this time before I decided to run away from home. All of this lead me to live a life where I tried to avoid conflict and keep everyone happy hiding my own needs and feelings in the process. Due to this I suffered from Anxiety and Depression and still sometimes do my relationships with the opposite sex were unhealthy because I would always try my hardest to please in turn making myself come across needy and clingy. I recently wrote out my own suicide not and considered actually following through before speaking to a friend who ended up putting me onto a podcast called “the mindset mentor” hosted by Rob Dial. I started listening to this and implementing his advice into the way I think and I began reading self help books such as “the subtle art of not giving a f**k” By Mark Manson I soon came to realise that all of these thoughts in my head I could actually change them given the right amount of effort and a steer in the right direction. It was only a month or less ago that I wrote my own suicide note and I’ve already had close family and friends comment on how this is the happiest they have seen me. I felt disconnected from my friends and family because I didn’t want to be vulnerable and I have managed to turn that around and hope my message can help others in similar positions realise it’s achievable

Suebris I think this is MY problem : Coping with non-abusive partner who drinks
  • replies: 5

I have recently moved in with my partner of 3 years and much to my surprise he drinks a bottle of wine most nights. He gets a little bit funny (laughs more easily), and more jovial, and sweet! Most of you would be saying at this point - what is the p... View more

I have recently moved in with my partner of 3 years and much to my surprise he drinks a bottle of wine most nights. He gets a little bit funny (laughs more easily), and more jovial, and sweet! Most of you would be saying at this point - what is the problem? Well I have come out of a 10 year, abusive DV relationship which was aggravated by alcohol and drugs (8 years ago), and I had to run for my life in the middle of the night. I experienced PTSD and have gradually built my life up again from scratch. 3 years ago I met my partner who was so different to anyone I have ever been in a relationship with - we love each other and everything is fair and equitable. My family and friends love him and everyone says we are good together. We've been on extended holidays together and I had never witnessed excessive alcohol consumption until now... but we didn't see much of each other during the week, only on weekends, so I guess I didn't really notice until I moved in. I have told him that it makes me uncomfortable and he seems concerned about this and apologises, but it completely triggers me and frankly revolts me - makes me not want to go near him. He is a very good man - my adult son passed 2 years ago and he was amazing throughout that period - so supportive and I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through without him... but now I am full of fear that everything is going to collapse around me...and i cant stand seeing him drink wine ( beer doesn't seem to make him intoxicated), but wine makes him drunk and the bedroom smells of alcohol and then he snores. He is in the midst of a marriage separation and has also come out of a very controlling relationship ( he is still very controlled by his ex), so maybe this is his way of dealing with it, but it seems to be becoming a nightly ritual, which scares me. Is this more my problem than his?

white knight Your secret for mind control?
  • replies: 5

I have my days. Today was one of them. A day cleaning up my garage, my favourite place where I tinker and build things. But today as I toiled with the cleaning my mind was fixed on past experiences. Do any of you have lack of mind control? Or if you ... View more

I have my days. Today was one of them. A day cleaning up my garage, my favourite place where I tinker and build things. But today as I toiled with the cleaning my mind was fixed on past experiences. Do any of you have lack of mind control? Or if you have control on your thoughts how do you drop the bad thoughts so you can focus on good things? Maybe cleaning is at fault. A boring procedure. Might have to leave that job to my wife next time lol while I go indoors to cook my unique custard cookies.