Staying well

30 seconds of survival during tough times: what is yours today?

replies: 340

Hi everyone, I have a little survival idea that want to run by you all: I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking: If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 secon... View more

Hi everyone, I have a little survival idea that want to run by you all: I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking: If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds? You can write as often as you like or as infrequently as you like. It also doesn’t have to be 30 seconds either. That’s just a number that I chose, because I thought it would be doable for most people. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival. I would love to hear from you I’ll start: On my way to work, I spotted some Christmas decorations, and instantly thought “oh, that’s so pretty!” 30 seconds of relief from my troubles. 30 seconds of survival. Background/inspiration for this thread: I was inspired by a book that I’ve been reading. It’s based on real life events where a woman lost her husband unexpectedly, and was left both a widow & single parent overnight. As you can imagine, she struggled with immense grief and loss, and was unsure when she would be able to see beyond it...reminders of him were everywhere, and she wasn’t sure when the pain would ever subside. But during a work meeting, while giving a presentation (or maybe she was chairing a meeting?), in that brief period, she forgot about her loss as she was immersed in her work. Sure, of course, her grief returned (as it often does). But in that brief moment, she felt a sense of “normalcy”, if there ever was such a thing. Okay, so maybe work won’t be your “thing” and maybe it’s not grief that you’re struggling with. Maybe it’s something else (that’s okay and valid). What I’m getting at is recognising our capacity to survive by recalling brief moments of survival. It all adds up... Moments when either your pain, heartbreak, loss, disappointment (whatever you’re going through) was temporarily forgotten or even subsided a little. Moments, however fleeting but nonetheless important, of survival

Three things to do that help happiness!

replies: 5

I once read three simple lines and by following a simple strategy I found I had more joy inside and for me thats vital. You've probably read this before but maybe not put it into practice maybe. We ALL need; 1. Something to do 2. Someone to love 3. S... View more

I once read three simple lines and by following a simple strategy I found I had more joy inside and for me thats vital. You've probably read this before but maybe not put it into practice maybe. We ALL need; 1. Something to do 2. Someone to love 3. Something to look forward to Lately Ive been slipping backwards and I started to wonder what Im doing differently than I did a couple of years ago. I currently have a lot of changes and unsettling stressful things to get through, but I find if I basically have the above three things it keeps me on the straight road going forward. "Everybody" needs something to do and preferably somethings that brings us joy... Not everyone has someone to love infortunately, but there's a pet maybe (even a goldfish or a budgie?). If mot a family member then somone out there who needs your love? Something to look forward to is just so important, its what gets me up in the morning. It might not be a holiday to Europe, but it could be a night away to somewhere entirely different, even by yourself.. It could be creating a garden, meeting up for a coffee with someone or even just attending a group meeting that you didnt want to go to and were going to pass up? Has anybody else given these three basic principles a try? Personally I find that when these three things are in place in my life, I seem to handle all of lifes "other problems" far better.... Id be interested in hearing others stories...

Combating negativity

replies: 4

Hi everyone, I’m newish here, well this is my first post. Im at a strange crossroads in my life where I really just hate my job. I’ve been doing admin since I was 21 and I’m now 34. The thought of sitting trapped in an office for 40 hours a week for ... View more

Hi everyone, I’m newish here, well this is my first post. Im at a strange crossroads in my life where I really just hate my job. I’ve been doing admin since I was 21 and I’m now 34. The thought of sitting trapped in an office for 40 hours a week for the rest of my life makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve been feeling like this for the past year. I’ve expressed these feelings to and how I not only want to but NEED to find a career/job that I’m passionate about. I need to feel like I’m actually accomplishing something. The problem is that the people in my life just keep squashing my ideas. They keep coming up with reasons why I shouldn't pursue something different. I find it so negative and discouraging and so I go back to being miserable in my current job. Has anyone else’s experienced this?? I feel like now I don’t have the confidence to take the leap and try something new and I’m sick of feeling like that!!

Nothing excites me or is enjoyable, I worry I suffer with depression

replies: 2

I worry that I may be suffering from depression. My university course has just started up and I already have a sense of dread of all the work I will have to do for it. I spent most of today doing readings that were so boring it took me 2 hours to get... View more

I worry that I may be suffering from depression. My university course has just started up and I already have a sense of dread of all the work I will have to do for it. I spent most of today doing readings that were so boring it took me 2 hours to get through them as I couldn't concentrate. After a while I thought I would spend some time doing something I wanted to do before I had to go to work, however, then I realised just how much I really didn't want to do anything. The past couple of weeks I have only been doing things because I feel I should or have to. Everything feels like a chore and I don't know what to do. I dread going to work, I dread doing uni work and I don't know what I actually want to do when I finally have free time. I feel bad reaching out to my boyfriend or any of my friends because I don't want to seem like I'm always so sad. I've also been crying frequently usually before sleeping at night. Has anyone else been like this and know how I can improve.

Ok! How do you make yourself choose to use helpful strategies, not wallow in despair?

replies: 12

I have the safety plan where you list who you should contact, the reasons you need to stay alive, etc. etc. - and I know academically about thinking "What's the worst that could happen?", "Could I live through it?", "What's the most likely outcome?" ... View more

I have the safety plan where you list who you should contact, the reasons you need to stay alive, etc. etc. - and I know academically about thinking "What's the worst that could happen?", "Could I live through it?", "What's the most likely outcome?" etc. etc. to analyse thoughts. However, how do you actually make yourself use these? When you're feeling ok you know self-destructive thoughts are irrational and harmful but when you're in the midst of cursing your own existence and plotting a path to perish how do you make yourself stop and think what you should do to keep safe, to get over it, to reach out, etc.? People say call this-and-that number or remember to follow your safety plan but when you're seriously depressed you're not thinking "this is not normal" but "I serve no purpose". What do you do? What works? How did you train yourself to think that way?

Crying at work

replies: 4

I had an episode today where a slight inconvenience made me cry to the point I could no longer do my job. I was also getting overly emotional about little things and was unable to let things go. I need help! It could affect my job and my ability to p... View more

I had an episode today where a slight inconvenience made me cry to the point I could no longer do my job. I was also getting overly emotional about little things and was unable to let things go. I need help! It could affect my job and my ability to perform. As well as being embarrassing. Help!!? How can I stop the crying when something happens that either causes me stress or that I am not happy with??

I have been having trouble being motivated and getting out of bed in the morning

replies: 10

For a while now I have been on holidays from my university course and have been working full time hours for the last 4 weeks. I’m going through a stage where I won’t get out of bed till 11am or 12pm and then won’t do much all day till work around 4pm... View more

For a while now I have been on holidays from my university course and have been working full time hours for the last 4 weeks. I’m going through a stage where I won’t get out of bed till 11am or 12pm and then won’t do much all day till work around 4pm. Because of my job I often finish at 12:30am in the morning which makes waking up early challenging for me. Apart from being tired however, when I do happen to wake up at a reasonable time, (8am or 9am) I end up falling back asleep as I have no motivation to get up and do anything. Even though I am no longer tired I feel like there is nothing that makes me want to get out of bed, its not a concious decision rather something I just do without thinking. Its very hard to convince my mind that I should get up unless I have something I have to do at a specific time that early. In the afternoon before work I don’t have any desire to do anything and sometimes even find myself content staring out into space than actually doing anything. I just generally feel lazy, unmotivated and distent/down. I feel bad being like this with my boyfriend because I know he cares for me and I don’t want to appear lazy or unreliable to him. I really hate myself that I have been unable to complete tasks I said I would do, and I don’t know how to get through this to feel better and want to do things. I worry about my future and my course as corona virus has impacted my course greatly turning it online which it seems it will stay for the rest of the year. How can I change my mindset around and wake up with motivation again?

Weighted Blankets

replies: 9

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this in but here goes. After hearing about weighted blankets being comforting for people with autism, I wondered if they would give the same comfort for those suffering with anxiety? Does anyone u... View more

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this in but here goes. After hearing about weighted blankets being comforting for people with autism, I wondered if they would give the same comfort for those suffering with anxiety? Does anyone use one? I can't seem to find anywhere in Australia that makes or even sells them. If you have one, could you please let me know how much it cost and where you go it from? Thanks

Getting a good nights sleep

replies: 4

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sle... View more

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sleep, have tried getting up and making tea or reading. usually I end up lying awake for hours clock watching and then fall asleep again. i am a type 2 diabetic and 65 spoke to GP says it's because I am getting older so need less sleep but it's now impacting on my life. have tried going to bed later did not make much difference and because I lie awake I get agitated because I can't sleep anyone with similar issue and what have they found helps

Switching mindsets

replies: 42

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call i... View more

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call it, but I guess its my drive for the end result. Example. I've purchased paint and brushes to paint our house. I'm watching TV. its ideal weather but I cant be bothered starting the paint project. As soon as I say to myself "I cant be bothered painting today"...I immediately do the opposite!! I rise off the chair and withing 4-5 minutes I have paint on a wall. Once that occurs, I feel better than sitting on the chair so the mental effort of doing something I dont want to do only lasts 4 minutes. The enjoyment is direct progress (paint on the wall) followed by a great feeling a wall is completed. However if I drove myself to paint one coat on the whole house with a second coat needed, it would be too long before I'd feel any sense of achievement. Hence two coats on one wall first. Stand back and admire. By the time one coat on one wall is finished a second coat can be applied. You can see why mentally it becomes a snowball effect. Once finished I pack the paint away. Then a while later I noticed a small wooden fence hasnt been painted..."oh, I forgot that...I'll do it another time"...bang! Its a negative thought, I'll do it now! The switch effect is used automatically again. Simply not allowing my own mindset of the "easy road" to take hold. Professional athletes do this. A swimmer swims 100 laps of a pool, as he/she is on that last lap, switch effect means "I'll do an extra 10 laps now". There is one proviso, one potential problem, those extra baby steps can over extend you, cause more tiredness and be counter productive. Take breaks. On building sites for example you'll never have tradespersons work all day without breaks. The reason is they would work less effectively with less quantity and quality of work at the end of the day. So try the switch effect, a total u-turn with tasks. Take rest periods always aware of using the switch effect regularly. The "switch effect"isnt easy, its a learned thing...a thing that shines with habit. So expect yourself to be challenged...by yourself!. But it can be an great addition to the positive snowball you'll develop that can change your life around. Let me know if you do this already or if you have tried it. Tony WK

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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30 seconds of survival during tough times: what is yours today?

replies: 340