Hi Everybody I have found it really hard to understand and control
emotions if I don't succeed at something that is important to me. Things
like not getting that job you really needed and were very keen on, or
just losing a race, a game, or anything ...
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Hi Everybody I have found it really hard to understand and control
emotions if I don't succeed at something that is important to me. Things
like not getting that job you really needed and were very keen on, or
just losing a race, a game, or anything you wanted to win! I wonder what
we can learn from the Olympics? I was struck by Genevieve Gregson's
reply, when asked how she felt about snapping her achilles tendon in the
3000m steeple chase when in sight of the finish line. It was also her
birthday! "I'm not OK yet but I will be" was her incredible response.
Here she was on crutches, her hopes and dreams in tatters after many
years of sacrifice and training. Her inner strength and self belief
drove her to explain that she was already mentally working on a recovery
and training plan, after surgery that would keep her on crutches for
many months. Of course it hurts big time when you fail for whatever
reason. In races I often looked for all sorts of excuses, or if I didn't
get that job it was always that stupid company's fault and I didn't want
the job anyway! A while ago I changed how I responded, looking inside
myself, remembering the success I have enjoyed, and even congratulating
others who had beaten me. Is that called being a good loser? The real
thing is, it made me feel much much better about losing, and the pain
became manageable almost straight away. Call it karma, but a few years
ago I lost a job application after interview and I was sure it was going
to be me. I sent the company a nice email thanking them for the
opportunity and reinforcing my interest in working with them. I allowed
myself to feel pretty miserable. Know what? They called me a week later,
told me the other applicant was not suitable, and I got the job and
loved it for four years! Maybe instead of trying to run from pain, we
should embrace it, lean into it, go through it instead of trying to go
over it? When things fall apart, isn't that the opportunity to find what
we are really made of? I think Buddhists call it 'Suffering Properly' -
let yourself feel pretty crappy, sit with your feelings but try to not
let them force you into sudden actions you may regret later. Pretty soon
you may start thinking about all the things you like about yourself
(there are always lots of them if you look deep inside), and preparing
for the future and another challenge! I think I might have raved on a
bit so please forgive me. How do you handle things when you lose? Let me
know! Seeya, The Bro
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