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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Caro1107 Combating negativity
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I’m newish here, well this is my first post. Im at a strange crossroads in my life where I really just hate my job. I’ve been doing admin since I was 21 and I’m now 34. The thought of sitting trapped in an office for 40 hours a week for ... View more

Hi everyone, I’m newish here, well this is my first post. Im at a strange crossroads in my life where I really just hate my job. I’ve been doing admin since I was 21 and I’m now 34. The thought of sitting trapped in an office for 40 hours a week for the rest of my life makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve been feeling like this for the past year. I’ve expressed these feelings to and how I not only want to but NEED to find a career/job that I’m passionate about. I need to feel like I’m actually accomplishing something. The problem is that the people in my life just keep squashing my ideas. They keep coming up with reasons why I shouldn't pursue something different. I find it so negative and discouraging and so I go back to being miserable in my current job. Has anyone else’s experienced this?? I feel like now I don’t have the confidence to take the leap and try something new and I’m sick of feeling like that!!

Guest7890 Nothing excites me or is enjoyable, I worry I suffer with depression
  • replies: 2

I worry that I may be suffering from depression. My university course has just started up and I already have a sense of dread of all the work I will have to do for it. I spent most of today doing readings that were so boring it took me 2 hours to get... View more

I worry that I may be suffering from depression. My university course has just started up and I already have a sense of dread of all the work I will have to do for it. I spent most of today doing readings that were so boring it took me 2 hours to get through them as I couldn't concentrate. After a while I thought I would spend some time doing something I wanted to do before I had to go to work, however, then I realised just how much I really didn't want to do anything. The past couple of weeks I have only been doing things because I feel I should or have to. Everything feels like a chore and I don't know what to do. I dread going to work, I dread doing uni work and I don't know what I actually want to do when I finally have free time. I feel bad reaching out to my boyfriend or any of my friends because I don't want to seem like I'm always so sad. I've also been crying frequently usually before sleeping at night. Has anyone else been like this and know how I can improve.

DrRotten Ok! How do you make yourself choose to use helpful strategies, not wallow in despair?
  • replies: 12

I have the safety plan where you list who you should contact, the reasons you need to stay alive, etc. etc. - and I know academically about thinking "What's the worst that could happen?", "Could I live through it?", "What's the most likely outcome?" ... View more

I have the safety plan where you list who you should contact, the reasons you need to stay alive, etc. etc. - and I know academically about thinking "What's the worst that could happen?", "Could I live through it?", "What's the most likely outcome?" etc. etc. to analyse thoughts. However, how do you actually make yourself use these? When you're feeling ok you know self-destructive thoughts are irrational and harmful but when you're in the midst of cursing your own existence and plotting a path to perish how do you make yourself stop and think what you should do to keep safe, to get over it, to reach out, etc.? People say call this-and-that number or remember to follow your safety plan but when you're seriously depressed you're not thinking "this is not normal" but "I serve no purpose". What do you do? What works? How did you train yourself to think that way?

Sarahc123 Crying at work
  • replies: 4

I had an episode today where a slight inconvenience made me cry to the point I could no longer do my job. I was also getting overly emotional about little things and was unable to let things go. I need help! It could affect my job and my ability to p... View more

I had an episode today where a slight inconvenience made me cry to the point I could no longer do my job. I was also getting overly emotional about little things and was unable to let things go. I need help! It could affect my job and my ability to perform. As well as being embarrassing. Help!!? How can I stop the crying when something happens that either causes me stress or that I am not happy with??

Guest7890 I have been having trouble being motivated and getting out of bed in the morning
  • replies: 10

For a while now I have been on holidays from my university course and have been working full time hours for the last 4 weeks. I’m going through a stage where I won’t get out of bed till 11am or 12pm and then won’t do much all day till work around 4pm... View more

For a while now I have been on holidays from my university course and have been working full time hours for the last 4 weeks. I’m going through a stage where I won’t get out of bed till 11am or 12pm and then won’t do much all day till work around 4pm. Because of my job I often finish at 12:30am in the morning which makes waking up early challenging for me. Apart from being tired however, when I do happen to wake up at a reasonable time, (8am or 9am) I end up falling back asleep as I have no motivation to get up and do anything. Even though I am no longer tired I feel like there is nothing that makes me want to get out of bed, its not a concious decision rather something I just do without thinking. Its very hard to convince my mind that I should get up unless I have something I have to do at a specific time that early. In the afternoon before work I don’t have any desire to do anything and sometimes even find myself content staring out into space than actually doing anything. I just generally feel lazy, unmotivated and distent/down. I feel bad being like this with my boyfriend because I know he cares for me and I don’t want to appear lazy or unreliable to him. I really hate myself that I have been unable to complete tasks I said I would do, and I don’t know how to get through this to feel better and want to do things. I worry about my future and my course as corona virus has impacted my course greatly turning it online which it seems it will stay for the rest of the year. How can I change my mindset around and wake up with motivation again?

16sundayz Weighted Blankets
  • replies: 9

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this in but here goes. After hearing about weighted blankets being comforting for people with autism, I wondered if they would give the same comfort for those suffering with anxiety? Does anyone u... View more

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this in but here goes. After hearing about weighted blankets being comforting for people with autism, I wondered if they would give the same comfort for those suffering with anxiety? Does anyone use one? I can't seem to find anywhere in Australia that makes or even sells them. If you have one, could you please let me know how much it cost and where you go it from? Thanks

contrarymary Getting a good nights sleep
  • replies: 4

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sle... View more

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sleep, have tried getting up and making tea or reading. usually I end up lying awake for hours clock watching and then fall asleep again. i am a type 2 diabetic and 65 spoke to GP says it's because I am getting older so need less sleep but it's now impacting on my life. have tried going to bed later did not make much difference and because I lie awake I get agitated because I can't sleep anyone with similar issue and what have they found helps

white knight Switching mindsets
  • replies: 42

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call i... View more

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call it, but I guess its my drive for the end result. Example. I've purchased paint and brushes to paint our house. I'm watching TV. its ideal weather but I cant be bothered starting the paint project. As soon as I say to myself "I cant be bothered painting today"...I immediately do the opposite!! I rise off the chair and withing 4-5 minutes I have paint on a wall. Once that occurs, I feel better than sitting on the chair so the mental effort of doing something I dont want to do only lasts 4 minutes. The enjoyment is direct progress (paint on the wall) followed by a great feeling a wall is completed. However if I drove myself to paint one coat on the whole house with a second coat needed, it would be too long before I'd feel any sense of achievement. Hence two coats on one wall first. Stand back and admire. By the time one coat on one wall is finished a second coat can be applied. You can see why mentally it becomes a snowball effect. Once finished I pack the paint away. Then a while later I noticed a small wooden fence hasnt been painted..."oh, I forgot that...I'll do it another time"...bang! Its a negative thought, I'll do it now! The switch effect is used automatically again. Simply not allowing my own mindset of the "easy road" to take hold. Professional athletes do this. A swimmer swims 100 laps of a pool, as he/she is on that last lap, switch effect means "I'll do an extra 10 laps now". There is one proviso, one potential problem, those extra baby steps can over extend you, cause more tiredness and be counter productive. Take breaks. On building sites for example you'll never have tradespersons work all day without breaks. The reason is they would work less effectively with less quantity and quality of work at the end of the day. So try the switch effect, a total u-turn with tasks. Take rest periods always aware of using the switch effect regularly. The "switch effect"isnt easy, its a learned thing...a thing that shines with habit. So expect yourself to be challenged...by yourself!. But it can be an great addition to the positive snowball you'll develop that can change your life around. Let me know if you do this already or if you have tried it. Tony WK

Not_Batman Guilt for being strong.
  • replies: 2

Just after some advice. ive spent the last couple of days feeling overcome with guilt. Backstory: My boss sort of belittled me in front of 6 other managers, saying that my project was Full of mistakes. However they only had 1 side of the story and no... View more

Just after some advice. ive spent the last couple of days feeling overcome with guilt. Backstory: My boss sort of belittled me in front of 6 other managers, saying that my project was Full of mistakes. However they only had 1 side of the story and none of the facts. when this happened, i became quite angered because it made me feel a little worthless. however, in the heat of the moment i did something i dont normally do...i stood up for myself, very vocally, giving all of the facts and the full story. after the event, and even a couple of days later im still obsessing over it, and feeling guilty for doing the right thing. for the most part i am coping with my anxiety and depression, but am finding it difficult to stop the guilt for being strong. How do i come to terms with the guilt? Not Batman.

ReeCar123 Self-soothing techniques and getting more secure
  • replies: 2

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We ... View more

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We separated (still getting along very well and both working on our past wounds) and since then, I feel I have achieved quite a lot in getting more aware, secure and I am better able to self-soothe to get myself out of ruminating. However, I am aware that I still have work to do, especially to manifest any good techniques that soothe the anxiety and counteract the unhelpful patterns. I am very keen to continue my work to raise myself to a more secure level based on my awareness, knowledge and learned new techniques. So I am very interested in understanding what other techniques there are that have helped you. For example, I read books like "The Happiness Trap" which employs ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). I like that and am trying to use the techniques from ACT. I have also built a stronger foundation for myself, so started new hobbies, applied for volunteering, etc. to build a good life for myself. All these things have helped me reach a new level and I have found myself speaking up for my own needs more - a thing I did not do well in the past due to fears of being rejected or abandoned. I can see the change and I really want to keep it going. What else can I try and become aware of so that I can become stronger and reduce the risk of losing myself again in the anxiety levels I used to have? I read my journals from a year ago when my relationship was extremely triggering. It was a huge eye opener and I never want to hand over so much control again. I want to stay on the good path now. Thank you in advance.