Vent and then let it go...

[Guest_1055]

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me.

So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here.

So yeah no replys please.

[Guest_1643]

Feeling very numb and broken

Can't continue as I am going ow but don't see any alternatives

Felt like I began healing but it didn't really lead to changes and improvements, all is just going backwards and I feel like I'm sinking

[Sophie_M]

Hey Sleepy,

It's always good to hear from you. We're really sorry you're feeling so numb and down. We can hear you're feeling disappointed or maybe a bit hopeless with how healing has been going for you. The healing journey is seldom linear and there are times when it can seem like things are stuck or even going backwards. We want you to know that you're not alone in feeling this way and we're sure there are others here who'll be able to relate to what you're going through. We have also reached out to you privately to offer extra support.

We're so proud of you for doing all that you have for yourself and for your healing. Even if it feels like it hasn't worked, we want you to know that it has and every little or big thing you've been able to do, it all adds up. Unfortunately there are times when it just doesn't feel that way at all. We hope you're able to recognise how brave and strong you've been and be proud of yourself.

Please remember that you are not alone and there is always hope and support available. We know that you already know about them, but please do get in touch with Lifeline if you need to talk these thoughts out (13 11 14).

We are here for you.

[Emo]

Hi Sleepy21,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I must apologise for not reaching out to you earlier. I've been dealing with a few issues of my own but that's no excuse, I should have made sure I focused on others.

I wanted to let you know that I admire you greatly. The strength that you show while you deal with the issues in your life is to be admired. You continue to reach out to others for support when you may feel like it's not truly helping but it all contributes to making a difference.

I completely agree with Sophie_M's comments, she is full of words of wisdom. I hope that your spirits will lift soon.

Regards,

Emo.

[Matchy69]

Hi Sleepy I am sorry you are struggling at the moment.You are a really loving caring person on here and give great support to many.I hope your healing journey can get back on track and I know how hard it can be and how easy it is to slip backwards.I am here if you need to talk.

Take care,

Mark.

[topsy_]

Hello Sleepy,

I’m sorry you’re not feeling great right now, but I’m really glad you’ve shared that here. There’s so many people here who care for you.

The thing I always had to be reminded of was that “you WILL get better again”. I hope that might help you too. It’s so easy to forget when we feel awful.

Take care now, T.

[Guest_1055]

Feel far away. Things are happening that I don't know what to do about. Makes me sad in moments, then far away I go. Don't like the far away. Don't like the sad.

[Guest_1643]

Ur all lovely, thank u. Trying to get back on track. Hard.

[topsy_]

Hate COVID. Hate lockdown. Hate life.

[Guest_1055]

Feel so sad because I think I have failed my son. I know I have not been the best mother for him. I love him so much, but I am not sure he knows it. I tell him I do. It feels like there is a film there, or like a glass wall in front of me. Any love cannot get through to him. Why can't I be the mother he needs? I want this wall to go. I want realness, no more heaviness, no more games or masks. Feel like shouting it out "I WANT REALNESS"

[mmMekitty]

Hi Topsy,

I've just found this Thread, and I am asking how you feel about the colours mixing and making brown? I hope it did not distress you or discourage you, because mixing all the colours does make brown. The kind of brown differs depending upon the ratio of the mix.

One thing my father did teach me was that if you got the portions of red, yellow and blue just right you could make grey. I did manage after much fiddling with the mix. It looked a more vibrant and 'alive' sort of grey than mixing black and white.

Also, when making a picture, you don't have to be neat or represent every small detail. It's called the Impressionist style. There are many styles of painting, some neat and tidy, some extravagant, and look sloppy, some seem to be one or just a few areas of colour, and nothing obviously identifiable as an object, muchless its detail.

My difficulty was that I want to both see and include detail beyond what was possible for me, and to be neat. I wanted to do more splashing around, just make feelings visual, not get stuck into making a perfect reproduction like a photocopy of a bit of my world.

I still feel I need to 'do things right', I would like to let that go, and allow for imprecision in whatever I produce, be that in my writing, music or if I take a photo using my phone, or if I was to attempt painting again, or something new to me, like sculpture. I would like to let 'good enough' be okay, and having a go, making mistakes alright, too. If I could do that, singing with what facility I have now would be fine with me. My neighbours might not like it, but I don't like their noise either.

Imagine if all painting looked like ultra-high photos, we would not see in these what the painter might want, not see what they were feeling, and the painting could have been done by a computer programme, via a drone or some suc.

What you did in art therapy was intended to help you express yourself, not to see if you had high visual acuity or h heightened attention to detail. I'm sure what you did in Art Therapy was fine.

mmMekitty