Vent and then let it go...

[Guest_1055]

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me.

So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here.

So yeah no replys please.

[Claudia_L]

Hi Shell,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling like this at the moment and I hope that you feel better soon.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts in the forum and expressing how you feel. I want you to know that my thoughts are with you during this tough time.

Cheers,

Claudia

[Guest_1584]

Hi David and thanks so much for the lovely thoughts and gesture and very kind words.Yeah , it's certainly been a few yrs of writing about that is for sure. Does it help you ,l'm not so sure these days.

You notice some people in life might not say that much about things , instead they seem to just quietly think them through and arrive at somewhere. Sometimes l wonder if that's not a better way. l have used it myself and it has worked at times , but there are others you just feel the need to get it out of your head. Thank you very much once again. rx.

Hiya sleepy , and thank you so much also. lt is hard isn't it , personally l don't know if it helps , maybe we're meant to just tough it out , who knows right. Sorry about the dentist , could it have been a phantom ache , l've had those. But hey , on the bright side , how lucky are you to have perfect teeth then right. Take care eh.

Hi Claudia and thank you also very very much , such kind souls around here. Very very appreciated . Funny , l've got a list on my phone l keep to read everyday , l've forgotten the last few days . Your right though those things do actually help if you keep it up.

Not sure about my reflecting though l'm glad it's helped you , really nice to hear. l might be better looking forward right now l think , or maybe just not looking anywhere and just existing for awhile.

Thanks again for the very kind words and thoughts . l do think a bit of a vent does help , although juries still out on that one for me.

Take care.

rx

[Gambit87]

I hate the rental market!!!

My rent is increasing about $30 per week.

I get were in a tight market at the moment, and I understand landlords need to make money and cover costs etc. Just a little annoying when your trying to get ahead.

But it is what it is.

[Emo]

Why do you hurt me? Why can't I be left alone? Why am I sick with cancer for not the first time? Why am I being punished?

I'm just numb, I don't feel anything anymore. I'm so low that I don't care what happens to me. You can hurt me all you want. You've broken me. I've lost the spark in me.

Why can't I leave you? Why do you have all of the control over me?  

Why can't I say these things to you? Why can't I ask you these questions?

[amberlite]

Emo, hi your vent made me rethink mine, I am sad that you are facing a big health issue and not feeling supported. I understand not wanting to tell someone how you feel, for me it is because doing so will not improve the situation. Some people can not put their own ego aside, to hear what is objectively being said, so that resolution can begin. Maybe your reasons are different? Maybe it is time to focus on yourself and cancer and your so not alone, posting here will always be welcomed. Thanks for venting I sure hope it helped and I wish you wellness.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Emo, 

Our support service reached out to you privately at the time you made this post, and we are always here for you to help you through this situation, and to get you the support and safety you need. Please know that you are strong, and important and we are here for you. 

It sounds like you're going through a really difficult time, and we think you'd benefit from contacting our support team via webchat, email or phone, here. We also encourage you to obtain some additional support from 1800RESPECT by phoning 1800 737 732 or chatting online here as well as phoning Safer Steps on 1800 015 188. If you are ever unsafe, please call 000. 

Thank you so much for reaching out to the community, as we know it must have been a really difficult thing to do, especially when there's so much going on for you at the moment.  

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[quirkywords]

Emo

I am so sorry to read your post,

I can feel your pain through your words.

I am sorry you are sick.

we care for you here .

you have so much compassion or others.

I hope you can have self care for yourself.

[Emo]

Hi Amberlite,

I'm sorry that I altered your post that you were going to post. I was venting about my husband because it's not safe to talk to him. I'm unable to get more treatment at the moment because my husband needs to approve me leaving with him to get some medical help and he's not willing to do that right now.

I'm trying to accept that maybe I won't be able to get treatment in time to slow the spread down. I guess I am tired of knowing that my health will never come first. Those words have made me cry. I'm not sure what to do now.

Regards,

Emo.

[Emo]

Hi Quirkywords,

I hope things are going well for you. I'm sorry for my late reply. I really appreciate you reaching out to me. I really appreciate your words saying that people care for me as I feel like no one would care if I was still around or not. I'm so up and down, I have such hatred for myself. I wish one day I can feel like I deserve to live. I question why I want to live when I'm going through so much.

I guess I'm not going that well. Maybe one day I will stop hating myself.

Regards,

Emo.

[Guest_1055]

I just want to go home. I know its a feeling. Feelings cannot. be trusted. The pain in me is too much. The sadness in me is too much.. The grief is too much.. The aloneness is too much.. The punishment is to painful. The judging of me is sad. The condemnation is too much.. The lack of love is too much.. The feeling that no one is in my corner is too much. No there is one person who I believe is in my corner. Maybe I will hold onto that.

He hates me... I thought there was some hope. But I was tricked again. He is free to love me or not. But how do I handle this rejection I feel. How do I respond? I feel like he keeps throwing stones at me. With a message that says "you are so bad" You are worth nothing to me. Not worth being kind to, not worth seeing if I am alright. Not worth getting to know. Not worth my time or attention. You are a nothing. These are the voices I hear in my head. This is what I perceive is happening because of the way he treats me. Tears are behind my eyes. I don't want to be bitter, I don't want to have self pity. I desparately want to respond in love. I desparately want to be filled with love but not rely on his, or lack of his. The ignoring me hurts so very much. It feels like a cut to my very soul. Why does he keep hurting me. Why aren't I strong enough to stop the hurt getting into me.

I could go far away into my mind and soul, then it will not hurt. But I hate the darkness. I hate that place.

He turns graves into gardens... He turns mourning into dancing.. He turns shame into glory... He is the only one who can.. Words to a song play into my thoughts.