Vent and then let it go...

[Guest_1055]

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me.

So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here.

So yeah no replys please.

[Doolhof]

Tired of verbal abuse at work.

Tired of feeling ignored until someone feels they have the right to tromp on me.

Need to stand up more for myself. Have my needs met.

[Guest9337]

randomx said:

Hiya sleepy , l hope your ok atm with things there.

Once my doctor said to me , for all the same reasons , you look fine to me.

l was that disgusted with it and is total lack of . l left the building thinking , just wth. l look fine to him. Wth hell has the exterior got to do with anything what sort of a doctor could be silly enough to take any notice of that, how could any doctor possibly not know that means absolutely nothing. And l've had it from doctors since too.

rx

the doctors make their observations with eyes, ears, touch, smell. They cannot see your feelings unless you show them openly.

If you are confused, see if you can say it.

If you are unhappy, see if you can say it.

If you are afraid or anxious, speak it up, share it with the doctors, tell them your emotions that they cannot see.

[Guest_1643]

Thanks rx. Good to vent and be heard. Sorry u have seen also what some doctors are like!

[Guest9337]

After i was sexually assaulted by criminals in 2016 i developed an even more lack of comfort with things covering my mouth.

I have just been persecuted by staff at a shop for not wearing a mask, yet still complying with all their rules and the legality. And apparently just my tone of voice is enough for them to rebuke me and threaten to throw me out of the shop.

Apparently i am so required to be so perfect that even saying polite things, needs a particular tone of voice for those customer service officers who refused to even treat me with respect as a survivor of sexual assault

Perhaps I should just put a big sign on my head: Hi i was sexually assaulted, would you mind if I don't wear a mask please?

[Sophie_M]

Hi david'n'goliath,

We are really sorry to hear how hard it has been for you feeling such a lack of understanding of your mental health and trauma in regards to the current mask requirements. It must be incredibly difficult for you. We strongly urge you to speak to one of the counsellors at 1800 Respect about these feelings so they can help support you. They are available by phone 24/7 on 1800 737 732.  Additonally, If you would like to talk to someone at theBeyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

 

[Guest9337]

Thank you for the strong urging, I have already today conversed with 1800respect.

[white knight]

Hi Dools, lovely to read one of your posts

I've often wondered why some of us are stood over, abused and bullied yet some are not. Are we magents for this? Sadly I think so. The animal kingdom has a nature all of itself, the strongest survive and we humans are no different.

So what is required of us to "stand our ground"? Firstly, seek clarification then if their intent is to bully us we try "fighting back" but we run the risk of being in error and then finding out that we messed up, that we misunderstood what they meant and we interpreted it as being aggressive or bullying. Well- we should then apologise and accept that apologizing is normal - its normal for us to make mistakes. Better to assume they are trying to impose themselves upon us than be a victim.

The most important thing is- if a behaviour is not within our nature then we will find that behaviour impossible to perfect and maintain. If fighting back against anybody is not within us then dont expect that defense to be easy nor long term.

So having said that, if you know this then what are the options? Well, there is avoidance in some situations. A person in your town is toxic you pass by on the other side of the road right? Same with the workplace, same with family.

Use the telephone. Better sometimes to confront others by a phone call than face to face. This is because their intimidation is weakened as you have the ability to terminate the call if they become a bully. It also allows you to put your point across with less interuptions.

I hope that helps

TonyWK

[Guest_1584]

Those types pick up anxiety and mental blocks. People with some empathy and soul will notice it and allow , they'll ease back on you giving you time and understanding. But the other type will see it as a weakness they can pounce on often underhandedly and shrouded, they'll even notice it in your tone or hesitation if it's wavering in the slightest, whenever they're feeling a bit of colour.

l noticed it a lot with different types of people myself back in growing up and younger days , even some family. lt was around 30 when l realized that unfortunately l can't be shy with these people , even if l am , don't show it. And sadly even if it's faking it,it really pays off calling on the strength to keep your tone or any hesitations, wavering, strong, or they'll pick it up. lt doesn't have to mean being loud or something your not , more so for me it was actually staying strong at times like that , about who l am if anything.

lt seems if they know they matter to you , or they can come out with something that will matter to you , effect you , it's their secret weapon. l still get weak moments and blocks these days and those people still pop up in life , but things mostly changed drastically from my 30s and on in that way and thankfully those times are few and far between as l've gotten older now , and still practicing.

rx

[mmMekitty]

Hi DnG

You tell of an experience like what I fear the most. Going somewhere without a mask, because I can't tolerate the thing on my face, for similar reasons, and being confronted and bullied by staff members.

& thinking, I don't want to have to explain why I'm not wearing a mask .I do have the exemption which, while not going into detail, does mention PTSD. I don't want to use it, because I don't want questions. I don't deal with pressure well. Yes, I would use it to go to a doctor's appointment, if a Police Officer requested to see it, or I suppose, if official Security personnel requested it, but not to just anyone. Not in the public area either.

I am so easily intimidated, I'd cave.

I like what you said to Randomx

" the doctors make their observations with eyes, ears, touch, smell. They cannot see your feelings unless you show them openly.
If you are confused, see if you can say it.
If you are unhappy, see if you can say it.
If you are afraid or anxious, speak it up, share it with the doctors, tell them your emotions that they cannot see. "

Can that apply to everyone? Even if I could remain a little calm, I'm afraid I would crumble and be unable to speak at all.

All I know is that for some people, spot a 'weakness' = exploit and take advantage. So long as I am dealing with people who have some ethical standards, some compassion, I could say and be understood. Otherwise, I let them get away with their disrespectful way of treating me, & end up leaving the shop/venue/etc, Or not risk it in the first place.

So far, I avoid the issue. I stay home, even as restrictions are as light as they are in SE Qld, & I don't know what is worse.

So far, I have not been challenged when I have been out with my helper, & we have had no problems. But maybe that is because my helper is there, with me? I can't answer that until I take a risk & go out alone.

Me Venting:

The quandary I feel is doing my head in!

I hurt for DnG having been hurt!

I still feel I have a sign on my head! Why can't I remove it?

I used to go around like nothing could touch me - now everything does.

&...Those people in US who are once again making abortion illegal under any circumstances struck me hard tonight - What would I have done if I had become pregnant at 13? The lawmakers there have no compassion.

Do these people who've hurt us ever figure out what they have done, really?

I wish I would NOT curl up inside myself, & just let go & SCREAM.

No worries,, Sophie_M, I'm venting.

mmMekitty

[Guest9337]

hi everyone, just ol' me slinking in again to say, i hope you have forgiven my venting about venting at the wrong people/place/times.

i felt the boil of furious rage a few days ago and held that all down just long enough to say, "im going for a drive to do something."

in my car, whilst driving along, i vented quite thoroughly, and hurt my own voice box with the repeated loudness and curses.

That sore voice box made it much easier to go back, later resettled, into the conflict and be quiet and listen even more, and thus also be inclined to say the optimally perfect sentence for peaceful change into the future.