Hi all,
Great work guys, as usual. Losing track of the thread again, but have a few notes for you, Golden. For one, reaching out here is an act of self-care in itself, so you're off to a good start. Secondly, I can relate to both your insomnia and your concern about money, I have likewise had many a sleepless night, and a few without a roof over my head. That changes a person.
Regarding your insomnia, something I did to care for myself better was my low budget version of light therapy. Turned lights down low at night, and rigged up a lamp to a timer, set to turn on when I needed/wanted to get up. You mentioned light sensitivity, so maybe one that isn't overly bright for morning, but brighter than night-time lamps. This helps to reset the circadian rhythm - the body responds to light and darkness. Even if you can't sleep well, a better sense of night and day can help your state of mind.
Regarding money - I'm very much the same about putting money away for bills and do so with most of it. But something I built into my budget was entertainment. Based on the premise that a person who spends nothing on themselves becomes very unhappy very quickly and major budget blowouts happen when that comes to crisis point and you just need something before you go mad. That something usually ends up being big, and often fuels regret. So maybe try to think of spending on yourself as a tool for saving money in the longer term, not just on big spontaneous expenses, but on health care. Depriving ourselves damages our physical and mental health. Save some money - buy yourself something nice!
Good news - self-care can absolutely happen in bed! If you're having a day where you really can't bring yourself to get up, you can still take care of yourself. Often after work I'm too sore to do much but crawl into bed even if my mind is alert. You did say music and shows are a bit much for you at the moment. Start small. There are some great (free) nature sound apps around, and I often use these to help me relax. "Nature Sounds" and "Sleep Sounds" are good. Also live streams of animals on YouTube (do you have WiFi?) you can watch on your phone. Type in "live bird cam" or "live fish cam" for some pretty relaxing viewing, just birds feeding or fish swimming around. Helps calm the mind, I have these things on in the morning before every work shift, sets me up on the right track for the day ahead.
Blue.
