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Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.

This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.

Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life.

IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.

I am here to help you why can't you see that?

Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?

IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.

Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?

IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.

Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.

IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.

Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.

IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.

Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.

What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.

Quirky


822 Replies 822

Hello everyone

Gambit I am pleased to know inner critic is getting less shouty.

Grandy I have noticed that my inner critic did not notice that I was doing good things so I would write down a list of things I was proud of. Then when shouty critic started saying how awful I was I would read out the list. Ok it doesnt always work but it worth a try and it stops me being as hard on my myself.

I am interested on what others inner critic's voice sounds like?

Catie 08
Community Member
If anyone finds the key to turning my inner critic off (even if it's just for a little while) I would love to know the secret.
When mine gets going it's kind of manic running at 100mph 🥴

Cate

I dont have a key but as I wrote above I tried writing down good things when they happen that I can read out so it quitens my inner critic.

The other thing is writing it a letter or challenging it. if you read previous posts some of the strategies people have written.

Hello all, I’ve been experiencing my inner critic (The Voice) since I was about 10 years old. Unfortunately in more than 40 years of almost constant denigration, sarcasm and contempt directed solely at me without any serious opposition, it has has become stronger and stronger and dominates many of my thought process.

Realistically, The Voice has also been exhorting me to take my own life from when I was about 20 years old. I just hate it so much and have no ammunition to slow or stops its progress. Outside of my small family It’s also much harder because I don’t have any social network or friends and will never be able to meet any because I am extremely distrustful of people and I have severe social anxiety .

Hi Nevergoodenough,

Welcome back to the forums. We're sorry to hear that you've been struggling with The Voice for so long. We understand that this almost constant thought process must be quite distressing to experience. Please know that help is available to you. We are reaching out to you privately to offer some extra support.

We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), and if you ever find yourself in immediate danger, please contact 000 (triple zero).

If you think that it's something you can manage, it might be helpful to join a support group to try and build a social network in your area.​​​ You can find information on support groups is available on the Black Dog Institute site here - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/support-groups/

You might also find it useful to read through some Beyond Blue resources on social anxiety:

If you'd like to seek some support from the community, we'd recommend that you write a post about how you've been feeling lately either in one of your existing threads, or create a new thread as it's been awhile since you have been on the forums.

Thanks Sophie for your thoughtful and caring reply. I have read through the attached links you attached and unfortunately I completely familiar with what I’m supposed to do to keep my avoidant personality at bay however my feelings of discomfort are so intense that I can’t even start these exercises at all. I would never be able to join a group.

I’m really sorry Sophie, I didn’t mean to come across rudely. What I meant to say is that I’ve been to many presentations about getting well, strategies to cope with mdd etc when I’ve been an impatient at psych hospital. I haven’t been able to successfully use any of these strategies to improve my depression and anxiety. It’s very hard to try and be nice to myself because I really despise the person that I am. It’s also really hard to do these things when your head is spinning like a blender most of the time.

Never good enough,

I am sorry you really despise yourself,

Many people reading your posts will relate to your words . Your honesty will hel others.

i too have truedstrategies thatcint work and felt hopeless.
I try to ignore my inner critic which I know is vey difficut.

is there anytime when your head is no pt spinning.
yiou are not alone here and there is support. Keep on posting here if you want.

i would like to dis uss with you further,

Hi Quirky

I have bumped up the Beyond Blue Bushfire thread just so people can have their say on how its effected them...Apologies for my posts being all over the place yesterday...broken PC and me trying to post on a mobile

my kindest always

Paul

Hi Quirky

thanks for being patient with me yesterday as my ancient PC is failing and I am shocking at using a mobile phone to post so my replys were all over the place...

Anyhow...just to let you know that the Bushfire thread is back up....and there is a new 0-10 status for people that have been through the catastrophic wildfires...similar to the Covid-19 Impact thread that you have been providing support on

be well....Paul