We as humans have control over many things. And we have no control over other things. I can vividly recall words yelled at me as a child "Tony....have some patience". These words were justified in one sense..I'd woken up at 3am on Christmas day and opened up all my presents and in the process woken up everyone else.
My problem was, I didnt know how to find patience and for many years I was tormented by this. How do I find it? Do I develop it? Do I study for it? What I didnt know as a child and in early adulthood that anxiety had a lot to account for my lack of being able to wait. So anxious, Christmas morning early wake up was uncontrollable. No words aimed at my behaviour would have made any difference...medical intervention was the only way.Fast forward my later adult life and now I realise, being an anxious person I was going to hit a brick wall eventually be it marriage breakdown, work related conflict or other crisis.Those traumatic events were triggers that exploded my illness I didnt know I had
What does this mean? We read almost daily someone we have compassion about,write about a situation they have found themselves in, say a work situation. This happened, then this, then that, leading to that happening. Often a situation of injustice in the mind of the confused who is the victim. So why did this person get involved in this particular situation of trauma and not someone else? I'm suggesting that in some situations of hype or disagreement, those with a mental illness might find themselves falling into such a conflict easier. Why? A lot of reasons depending on the individual. But those with a mental illness can have traits like sensitivity leading to over reaction, withholding anger due to abuse, less wise due to poor mental growth or enduring depression due to pride etc etc.
Things like patience, tolerance, wit, etc do not arrive naturally in some of us and we will not develop these important qualities by just being told to get them. They are not purchasable on supermarket shelves. But some are obtainable. They can be developed by means of therapy, learning and maturity through aging. Aging gives up wisdom through experience, tolerance through acceptance learned from years of human gatherings. Wit is one that would be harder to achieve.
So, if you find yourself in crisis after crisis, you think your life is full of bad luck and incidences. You might have an underlying illness. You are unlikely to find stability unless you get professional help.
Tony WK
