Hello everyone,
I hope everyone is doing ok.
I am putting up a post here to discuss a few things. I have previously struggled with depression, which was especially severe during my last few years of high school. Now that I am out of high school, I had thought that things would improve but unfortunately they have not really overall. I know that there are so, so many people with other problems more severe than mine but I thought maybe putting up a post would help me feel a little better. I thought that I wanted to go into the vet nursing industry and after securing an amazing opportunity at a vet clinic to get paid whilst learning skills and experiencing what it is like in the industry as well as studying, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. I am so grateful to have received this opportunity, but I can't help but think that it should have gone to someone else. I have grown to dread every single shift I am scheduled onto, and my hours have been reduced, giving me a lot less pay to live off and causing quite a bit of stress because I feel I am not earning enough money each week, and I don't think I can afford to go to therapy to help myself work through this. On top of this, I had thought before working at the clinic that it was going to be based around the pets and supporting surgery, cleaning, etc. however I am answering phones and dealing with customers at reception a lot, whilst feeling a bit discouraged after my co-workers have made some subtly discouraging comments to me. I am an introvert and have developed a bit of anxiety around constantly talking to people, which I think has made me a bit worse of a receptionist. I know I should not be complaining about this and I feel terrible complaining but, doing that sort of extroverted reception work & also having the euthanasias impact me more than I thought it would, and I have stayed for at least 5 months to see if things would get better. Even though I could push through & continue working there, it still feels a bit terrible. I am beginning to become tired and very much numb to everything and don't really have any feelings about it except for a bit of dread knowing I have to work another shift this week. Am I just having some anxious feelings associated with the shifts and it is an unconscious response now that I should try to reverse and push through? Otherwise I have tried job searching, but it is so hard to get a job, and most seem very customer based
Sorry for the long post.
I appreciate any comments. 🙂
